This is just the intro.. it will be posted in parts as we finish it
up... hope you like!
The Princess Bride - A Ranma 1/2 Production ?!?
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
A shameless take-off of William Goldman's book, Rob Reiner's film,
and Rumiko Takahashi's comic book. There might actually be original
material in here, but we're not sure ;]
Written by Martha McMahon and E. Bryan Rumph
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Cast (in order of appearance)
~~~~
Akane Tendo Grandson (sort of)
Kasumi Tendo Grandfather (sort of)
Akane Tendo Buttercup
Ranma Saotome Westley / (wo)Man in Black
Moose Fezzik
Ryoga Hibiki Inigo Montoya
Nabiki Tendo Vizzini
Tatewaki Kuno Prince Humperdinck
Ukyou Count Rugen
Susike Albino
Kodachi Kuno Old woman (BOOER)
Happosai Miracle Max
Cologne Valerie
Soun Tendo Impressive Clergyman
Genma King
Noduka Queen
Tsubasa Asst. Brute
Shampoo Yellin
(cast list subject to change, or better suggestions ;])
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"I hate colds." Akane coughed, and glared at the NyQuil bottle.
"Stupid stuff doesn't even --- Zzzzzzzzz" Akane suddenly collapsed as
the sinister cold medication took effect.
"Akane?" Kasumi asked quietly as she carried Akane's dinner into
the room. "Akane, wake up."
"Mmmm?" Akane replied, fighting off the treacherous NyQuil. <I
thought this stuff was supposed to be non-drowsy.> She grumbled to
herself.
"I brought you a special present." Kasumi noted, as she set the
dinner down next to Akane's bed.
"What is it?"
Kasumi handed Akane a small wrapped present. "Open it up."
"A book?" Akane asked, as she open the present. She gave Kasumi
a confused look. "It's in English."
"That's right, this is a special book. It was the book our mother
used to read to me when I was sick, and today, I'm going to read it to
you."
"Does it have any martial arts in it?
"Yes. Fencing, fighting, torture, revenge, giants, monsters,
chases, escapes, true love, miracles..."
"It doesn't sound too bad." Akane smiled sleepily, "I'll try and
stay awake."
"Oh, my. That's very nice of you." Kasumi smiled back, and took
the book from Akane. "You can eat while I read, okay?" Akane nodded and
Kasumi opened the book, "The Princess Bride by S.Morganstern, Chapter 1."
*******
Kasumi: Akane was raised on a small farm in the country of Florin.
Her favorite past-times were riding her horse and
tormenting the farm boy that worked there. His name was
Ranma. But she never called him that. Isn't that a
wonderful beginning?
Akane (skeptical): Are you sure those are the right names?
Kasumi (continuing): Nothing gave Akane as much pleasure as ordering
Ranma around.
The scene opens on a quaint little dojo-farm nestled in a wide
green valley. Akane rides a horse into the barn and dismounts. Seeing
Ranma working in the yard, she yells at him.
"Farmboy, polish my horse's saddle. I want to see my face
shining in it by morning."
Ranma looks over, and smiles. "As you wish."
Kasumi: 'As you wish' was all he ever said to her.
Akane walks up to a working Ranma. She holds out two empty
pails for him.
"Farmboy, fill these with water....please?"
"As you wish."
Kasumi: That day she was amazed to discover that when he was saying
'as you wish,' what he meant was, 'I love you.' And even
more amazing was the day she realized she truly loved him
back.
Akane and Ranma are standing in a kitchen. Akane looks at Ranma
and then at a pitcher hanging overhead.
"Farmboy, fetch me that pitcher."
Ranma looks at her, then unhooks the pitcher and hands it to her.
"As you wish...." he whispers.
*******
Akane: Hey, wait a minute! Are you trying to trick me? Where's the
martial arts? And why do those characters have our names?!
Kasumi: Wait, just wait.
*******
Kasumi: All would have been well, but Ranma was cursed and could
not marry until it was lifted. So he packed his few
belongings and left the farm to seek his fortune across the
sea. It was a very emotional time for Akane.
Akane: I don't believe this!
Akane and Ranma are standing on the road leading to the ocean.
Ranma has a pack over his shoulder.
"I'm afraid I'll never see you again..." Akane was crying softly.
"Of course you will." Ranma answered gently, looking absolutely
positive of his words. Akane stopped crying.
"But what if something happens to you?"
"Hear this now, I will always come for you."
"But how can you be sure?" she asked, a little confused.
"This is true love. You think this happens every day?" Somehow
what Ranma said seemed to vaguely make sense, so Akane released her
death-grip on his sleeve.
The two kiss and Ranma heads off, half-way down the path an old
woman accidentally douses him with water from a ladle. Ranma sighs and
adjusts her pack to compensate. She mutters a few choice words and
continues walking.
Kasumi: Ranma didn't reach his destination. His ship was attacked
by the Dread Pirate Roberts, who never left captives alive.
When Akane got the news that Ranma was murdered...
Akane (interrupting): Murdered by pirates is good!
Kasumi (continuing): She went into her room and shut the door, and
for days she neither slept nor ate.
"I will never love again." Akane vowed sadly.
(to be continued...)
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Comments? Flames? Large Monetary Donations?? ;]
Martha (and cat)
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