At 09:34 PM 6/7/96 +0200, you wrote:
On Wed, 05 Jun 1996 19:05:19 -0700 Misa-chan said:
: A Lesson in Love
: Chapter 9: Confessions
: Nabiki grinned, a roll of film in her hands. She held the
: most... VALUABLE... pictures of her career clutched tightly to her
The most valuable? How so?
because she could sell em for big bucks.
: Ranma grabbed Nabiki by the shoulders and slammed her up
: against the wall, shocking her and causing her to let the film drop
: from her fingers.
: "No idea, huh?" he said as he leaned down and picked it up.
: He crushed it in his hand and let the remains crumble to the ground.
: Ranma turned and looked at Nabiki, his eyes filled with disgust.
: Nabiki shivered and sank down the wall, still horrified that Ranma
: had actually pushed her.
: Ranma said, quietly, "Nabiki, you're such a bitch. I thought
: about it this morning...
Misa-chan, this scene need thorough re-working. Due to the
changed nature of the photos Ranma is severely overreacting here.
I can picture him doing that over the lemonish snapshots, but not
over the photos Nabiki took in your new version.
I disagree. Ranma finally got sick of what Nabiki was doing and decided
to take action. She has been doing this to him for an ENTIRE YEAR, and,
really, she deserves what she gets in my opinion. I think she is a
sneaky, conniving, jerk.
: and I realized that there was no way you
: could have missed what was going on between Akane and me last night,
: not with you being so nosy.
Were they? It was more pure luck that Nabiki caught them right on
their first evening. Cutting Nabiki's speech of self-
justification was a good beginning to tone this scene down, but
Ranma still comes across as too crass in his actions, to me.
Were they what? No, it wasn't pure luck. Nabiki is VERY VERY observant,
she always pays attention to what is going on. THEN she waited up to
see what she could find out.
Let's put it this way: the only person on the show I dislike besides Kuno
is Nabiki; maybe it is because I have been blackmailed before and I know
what a CRAPPY thing that is and what kind of person would sink low enough
to do that. I am going to explore how Nabiki has come to let money take
over her life and what she does about it. I can tell that you don't like
the way she was treated, but I really think it was going to have to
happen someday.
Everything else was just as good as we've come to expect of you,
Misa-chan. Don't keep us waiting too long for more. :)
Thanks :) 1 more week and I will have the next one out. THERE IS
GOING TO BE A FIGHT SCENE SOON!!! OHHH... I am growing.
Anyway, thanks a lot for the commentary... :)
misachan
Marisa Price
marisa@value.net
Home Page!!! http://value.net/~marisa/
Mermaid Saga WebPage!!
http://value.net/~marisa/mermaid.html