This proved to be a truly productive weekend.

To keep myself from damaging the walls with my head over the
writing of the Ryouga parts of _Ranko 1/2_, I wrote this piece.
It was inspired by reading the latest Viz release, Ranma1/2 V5 #6.

In it *again* someone falls into a Jusenkyou pool without
listening to the guide - I kinda felt sorry for the guy.

  ----------------------------------------------------------

                       A Guided Tour
                            or
         Even a patient person has a Breaking Point



It was during our university's archaeology expedition to China.

Only very few students had the chance to visit the exciting new
excavation sites near the chinese Bayankala mountain range.  I was
one of the lucky few, chosen more by pure luck than any deserving
on my part.  Nevertheless I was there and intended to make the
best of it I could.

Despite not being able to speak a word chinese beyond the simple
phrases of my tourist's language book I took to exploring the
sights the surrounding land offered in my free time.  A friend
I had made among the chinese work crew had recommended to me the
ancient and mysterious martial arts training ground of Jusenkyou.

When I found the place and went there some days later I was
relieved that the guide spoke a number of foreign languages, among
them english, which I could understand.  He was a very stocky man
of average to small heigth who was smoking a pipe of what I hoped
was tobacco.

"Yes, honourable customer, this is ancient training ground of
Jusenkyou:  ground of accursed springs."

And it was true - the whole area was riddled with small pools,
each separate from the others.  There were poles of bamboo
sticking out of the water, that I assumed had some significance in
martial arts training.

"Each spring have own tragic legend", said the guide, pointing out
the nearest pool.  I did not pay too much attention.  The ground
formation with all these pools was very strange and I wondered
what had formed them.

"Ah, honourable customer, better not go too near.  It is very
dangerous - nobody use this training ground anymore"

I was looking into a pool and the water looked curious.  There
were reflexes on the surface that seemed to have no origin on this
side.  I leaned closer.

"Honourable customer, *please* listen.  You do not want to fall
into pool.  There is very tragic legend of eighteen hundred years
ago..."

I could see my reflection in the pool.  It looked at the same time
familiar and completely different.  Kinda like an animal.  I
leaned still closer and suddenly noticed that I was about to loose
my footing.  I waved my arms but it was already too late to regain
balance.  I tilted over and fell.

At the last second before I hit the water A hand grabbed my shirt
and hauled me back.  The guide had grabbed me in time - he looked
very angry.  He grabbed me by my lapels and shook me.

"This is the last straw!  Whatever happen to ancient tradition of
*listening* to guide before bringing doom to oneself?!  You want
fall into pool so hard?  Then go, fall!"  He pushed me over
backwards and I fell sprawling into the water.

I gurgled and splashed trying to get back to the surface, but
something was happening.  There was a painful sensation all over
my skin, that felt like a thousand needles pricking at once, like
my whole body went to sleep and was now waking up.  Then there was
another feeling - it felt like stretching in the morning, only in
reverse.  I couldn't move my fingers anymore, and thinking back, I
realize that I probably *saw* that my hands had turned into paws,
but I doubt it really registered with my brain.  Only when the
hand reached into the water from above and picked me up at the
scruff of my neck, I understood my change.

The guide looked huge now, and still very angry.

"There!  Now you know why spring of drowned cat have that name!
You satisfied now?"

"Meow!"  I said.

"Perhaps you want to try out Yahzuniichuan, too?  Is not as if
stupid old guide have anything better to do than watch customers
jump into pools and be ignored by them."

He plunged my helpless feline form into another pool.  Again I
felt the indescribable sensation of transformation wash over me.

"But perhaps that spring is only for blind moles who walk right in
without listening?"

"Quack,"  I answered diplomatically.


I do not know how many springs I "visited" that afternoon, but it
must have been over a dozen before the guide finally calmed down
and threw me into a human pool.  Thankful to be back in my old
form I burst towards the surface and took a deep breath.  It was
then that I noticed that something was amiss - literally.

"Waaah!"  I cried out in a decidedly female voice.

The guide threw my clothes towards me and pointed over to another

"Spring of drowned man is right there.  Take it and only come back
when you have learned patience and courtesy of paying attention."

He went away, muttering to himself in chinese, no doubt about the
stupidity of customers.

I collected my clothes and dunked into the last pool.  I was
astonished how strange it felt to be myself again.  Wet and shaken
I went back to our place at the excavation.

Needless to say that ever after I have treated the guides at
museums and other places with utmost respect and did my best not
to upset them... They all are humans after all and can only take
so much.

  ----------------------------------------------------------

Hope you liked it.  If you ever worked in any kind of service
industry you probably felt for the poor, ignored Guide, too. :)

Sebastian
--
       <http://enterprise.mathematik.uni-essen.de/~bastian/>
                         Comics reviewed
--
Confidence is the feeling you have before you understand the
situation.
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