From:        Erin Mills version 2.5, MILL0622@Badger.Snow.edu

   This is what happens when you see both "Spy Hard" and "Mission: 
Impossible" within 20 minutes of each other in one afternoon. ^_^

I like. ;> A few comments (grammar mistakes not included):

   Behind her, Ryoga Hibiki cursed and ran in pursuit, tearing off a 
number of black and yellow headbands and throwing them at her. Ukyou 
dodged the flying pieces of cloth, which embedded themselves in the 
sides of nearby buildings.

Are there any nearby buildings? They must be running pretty fast... IIRC 
the Arc de Triomphe is all by itself in the middle of a large traffic 
circle.

   Back in the postbox, the package sat innocently. The next 
morning, to the consternation of the accounting department of the 
French Postal Service, 

He he he... but would the postal service really forward that? ^_^

   In her office, Japan Station Director Nabiki Tendo puzzled over 
the mysterious package Ukyou Kuonji had sent. 

The other Bond/Ranma fic picked Nabiki as the supervisor, and I agree 
she's probably the most logical choice out of the Ranma cast. 
Unfortunately, this complicates dealing with the rest of the Tendos, 
especially with Akane. It's pretty hard for me to believe Ranma had never 
at least met Akane, if he's working with Nabiki.

   After a moment, Ranma Saotome's pigtailed head came out from 
under the sheets. He got out of bed, walked across the room, punched 
a hole through the closet door, grabbed the hired assassin lurking in 
there, pounded the assassin's head against the door a few times, 
opened the door, removed the now-unconscious assassin, tossed him 
through the eighth story window, grabbed a robe, put it on, and 
stomped down the hall to the phone.

I *like* this scene. :)

   "Ranma Saotome and this better be good,"

Would be be *quite* that rude?

   "This is your boss, Ranma-kun," came Nabiki's voice, "You're off 

You might want to put a reaction shot of him here. Since he's 
affectionately called -kun in the series (by Kasumi among others) the 
alternate superior/underling interpretation didn't occur to me until the 
second or third time through... and it felt odd to have Nabiki give an 
affectionate dressing-down. :)

   Thirty minutes later, dressed in a blue serge suit, Ranma walked 
into Nabiki's office.
   "Nice to see you, Saotome, hope I didn't interrupt anything,"
   "Can we cut the pleasantries? It's been a long night,"
   "Okay, if that's the way you want to play it," 

This feels a bit causual/wordy, esp. for Nabiki; I'd almost expect her to 
simply say nothing, or look annoyed, or simply give him a raised eyebrow 
Look.

   "Fingerprints. Standard mail examination check. If you bothered 
to attend the staff seminars once in a while, you might learn 
something,"

I notice you keep ending quotes with a comma; if what follows is anything 
but a simple attribution tag, this should usually be a period/question 
mark/etc.

   "He's got her,"  Nabiki fixed Ranma with a stare.

If it's Ranma talking, you should put Nabiki's action into a separate 
paragraph; as it is, it sounds like it's Nabiki talking. 

   Tatewaki Kuno, resplendent in a gray three piece suit, was 
speaking to his two lackeys via the speakerphone.
   "She didn't have the box?" he asked calmly.

"Box" sounds pretty mundane; I'd be tempted to say "cube" instead.

   Kuno began to laugh. A laugh that grew until the whole building 
reverberated with it's sound...

This is not the first time you've used "it's" instead of "its"; "it's" 
should be used only as a replacement for "it is". Otherwise... cute and 
scary idea. :)

   Well, what do you guys think. I realize that characterization is 
a little sketchy, but all other forms of C&C are accepted.

Sketchy, but reasonable if you're reasonably familiar with the show. 

   Insted of doing a surgical insertion of the Ranma cast into the 
Bond Universe, I decided to start from scratch and create two new 
rival organizations; BTI and WACEO.

I think this is the best route, and it works quite well here. Shades of 
U.N.C.L.E. or Get Smart. :)

Note: Lack of comments on a section usually means I couldn't find fault 
with anything. :) As I said, I quite liked this, and would like to see 
you continue. :)



Travis Butler
(The Professor, formerly of Myth and Magick!, Lawrence, KS;
 tbutler@tfs.net, now from the Wandering Powerbook;
 <http://www.tfs.net/personal/tbutler/>;
 Mac page <http://www.tfs.net/business/tbutler/>)

..Cats are the proof of a higher purpose to the universe.