Is it just me, or have at least 2 of the starts to a bad piece of fanfiction
accually materialized as stories?  Does that prove that the people in here
will write just about anything?  Well, just checking.

"Sorry, said the goat."  Actually, Bosom Buddies wasn't as bad as I thought,
which is why I'm writing it.  Plus, after two successful fanfics based on
songs, I'm dragging out my Zappa collection.

Stay tuned for Ranma 1/2:  The Illinois Enema Bandit.

Speaking of which: (This will mean nothing if you have not heard
the FZ song "Punky's Whips".  Really.)

WARNING!  WARNING!  POTENTIALLY BAD!






"Kodachi's Whips"

this should be sung by Mikado Sanzenin as Terry Bozzio:

"I can't stand the way she poisons,
'Cause she might not be poisoning for me.
"Poisoning for you?  Kodachi Kuno poisoning for you?"
Her hair is so shiny and her eyes so crazed
That I squirm with ecstasy!
Isn't it romantic, Kodachi?
Kodachi, Kodachi, give me your lips to die on
I promise not to come in your mouth!
Kodachi, Kodachi, your plans are the shits, they're all wrong
but I swear this is no laughing matter.

I ain't wracked with fear,
'Cause if she ever got near
Nabiki Tendo would PAY to see!

Kodachi's whips, Kodachi's whips
Her ribbon's so shiny, I love those hips
I love her teeth, and her gums 'n' such
Yeah, baby, that's what I like to see
You're a DEVIL...you're too much

She's been having mood swings
That keep the boys away
"She needs Prozac" is what the doctors say

I wonder if Kodachi is stalking today?
I'll just go over, and watch her flay
Her hair is so pretty...I'd like to bite her neck
I've heard a rumor, she's more deranged that Jeff Beck!

(But dig this...)
I don't fear
Don't keep me away
I'm a little fond of roses in a black array

Kodachi's lips...KODACHI'S LIPS!
They make me squirm, eatin' dunky chips
I love her skin, and her BLANK-BLANK-BLANK
Maybe she'd like to yank my crank!
YANK IT, KODACHI!  YANK IT HARDER!
YANK IT ALL NIGHT LONG!

I don't fear
Don't keep me away
I'm a little fond of roses in a black array

--Sean Gaffney
--who's had this going through his head, and has now left it
--bleeding on the list for all to see.  Please, NO C&C:  I want
--it to die mercifully