Dark Streamline A.D. Viz-ion Image Entertainment presents... A "Not-Bloody-Likely" Production ====================================================================== ----------- THE GREAT ANIME CROSSOVER FROM HELL!!! ----------- ====================================================================== by Erin Mills and Christopher Willmore, Founders of the 'Anything-Goes School of Indiscriminate Fanfic Writing'! ---------------------------------------------------------------------- With apologies to the creators of the characters herein. 'Sailor Slacker' and associated quotes and descriptions used with the permission of Joyce 'Azusa' Meadows ---------------------------------------------------------------------- Thanks to Wayne Pillion for his helpful suggestions. ---------------------------------------------------------------------- ***** EPISODE V: HAPPY HAPPI'S JOY, JOY! ***** ---------------------------------------------------------------------- THIS EPISODE IS DEDICATED TO 'THE OSMIUM PAIR' (WE RAN OUT OF GOLD): Joyce 'Azusa' Meadows and 'Joey-kun' Torres ---------------------------------------------------------------------- NOTES, QUOTES, MOTES, AND SHOATS: Time: immediately after the end of ep. 4 "Reading fanfics by moonlight; Skipping classes by daylight; Never running from a sig fight, She is the one called Sailor Slack!" -Joyce 'Azusa' Meadows ---------------------------------------------------------------------- Aaron rolled over on his bunk, asleep. Having spent the last day and a half chasing a bunch of anime characters all over D.C. had taken it's toll and he'd fallen asleep shortly after being escorted to his cell. Of course, the Universe wasn't going to let it's champion off THAT easily... He was floating through space, content to float without any actual rush to be anywhere. He just wanted to bask in the golden light. Hold it. Aaron floated upright, looking for the source of the light. There was something disturbingly familiar about this set up... Aaron looked around for the source of the voice. "Who are you? Where are you?" Aaron's eyes widened. "Oh no! No thank you! I've had quite enough of fictional entities in the past few days, thank you!" "And you're supposed to be the fact behind the character Floy in `Harmagedon', huh?" "Alright, Floy, what do you want with me?" "Oh, is that all?" "And what am I supposed to do?" "And exactly how do I do that?" And at that point, he woke up. F**ker groaned. "Great, two nutcase teenage exorcists to deal with," he thought. "Usag-Serena, Minmei, Rick, Sheet and Lisa run off. Gloval out like a light. On the whole, I'd rather be with Nina." "Betters?" Sailor Mars yelped. "I'll have you know I've put more youmas to rest than you ever will, you floozy!" "Floozy?!" Yohko said, raising her sword. "Who are you to talk, you reject from a schoolboy's wet dream?!" "Ladies, ladies!" Roy said, trying to defuse the fight about to break out. "It really doesn't matter to us which of you puts us to rest, as long as it gets---" "SHUT UP!!!" the two of them yelled. "There's only one way to settle this!" said Yohko. "Agreed," Mars replied. The two of them began to beat the living hell out of each other. The cell door opened. "All right, Miller," said Mallory. "You can go," "What?" "The charges have been dropped, get outta here," Aaron walked out of the cell confused. He was even more confused when Zenigata was thrown forcefully into a cell three doors down. "What's going on?" "Interpol has never heard of this Lupin III or Zenigata. No record, no case," said Mallory, a little angry. "Makes me sick." "What? That Zenigata wasn't who he said he was?" "No, that you have to be released. Now, get out!" Once out in the squad room, Aaron found it remarkably devoid of human life. He asked the desk sergeant what was going on. "Everybody's heading for the Washington Monument. Been a lot of trouble out that way. First, some sort of spaceship landed and now we got reports of one girl in a sailor suit fighting with a girl in a flashy red dress. Somethin' weird's going on here." "You don't know the half of it," Aaron thought as he dashed outside to find a phone. If he had to get these guys together, he was going to need help. "HA!" Mars cackled as one of her wards landed on Yohko's arm. Her smile was changed to a frown as Yohko tossed the ward aside and socked Mars across the jaw. "I'm not dead, bimbo!" Yohko said, as she brought her sword up for the kill. Mars rolled out of the way, letting Yohko's sword slice into the ground. "Nyah!" Mars nyahed. "You missed," "Not completely," said Yohko, pointing at Mars's arm. Mars looked down and saw a rivulet of blood roll down her arm. "AAAAGGGGGGHHHHHHH!!!!!" she cried "BLOOD!! I'M BLEEDING!!!!!" Everyone else in the immediate vicinity looked at her. Yohko stared, wide eyed. "SOMEBODY GET A DOCTOR!!!" Mars wailed. "I'M BLEEDING TO DEATH!!! I'M SCARRED FOR LIFE!!!! WAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHH!!!!" "Oh, for F**k's sake," said Yohko. F**ker turned to look at her, and raised an eyebrow. "You called?" he asked. "Not YOU!" she shouted. "Now, leave me alone, will you? I'm BUSY!" "Gomen." She raised the glowing sword over of her head and with one swing, neatly severed Mars's head from the rest of her. Mars's body began to quiver and shake violently. It began to smoke and sputter and smell a great deal. Then the whole body collapsed in a pile of ash, leaving only Mars's shoes intact. "There can be only one!" F**ker said, caught up in the moment. "AAAIIIIEEEE!!!!" Sailor Mercury yelled. "You'll pay for that!" "This does not bode well," said F**ker. Sailor Mercury looked at the pile of ashes that had been Sailor Mars, and began to quiver with rage. Narrowing her eyes, she glared evilly at Yohko. "I am Sailor Mercury!" she said. "You killed my team-mate. Prepare to die." Yohko brandished her spirit-sword, still stained with blood. 'We'll see about THAT!' "You're right. But only if you don't go blind, first." The devil hunter paused her silly poses for a second. "Nani?!?" Sailor Mercury only smiled, and raised her wand into the air. "Mercury... Bubble... BLASTER!!!" As soon as she spoke those words, the air was filled with cheap synthesizer music,and coloured streamers fell from the sky, amidst the shine of several dozen multicolored spotlights. In the middle of all this, what looked like nothing so much as a Fisher Price bubble gun appeared in the air in front of Mercury. Yohko blinked. "You want to defeat me with a BUBBLE GUN?!?" Mercury nodded. "Hai. Prepare yourself!" "Give 'er heck, Mercury!" shouted Serena from the sidelines while licking a soft-serve cone... "Die, devil!" The Mamono Hunter rushed at the blue-haired girl, waving her blade back and forth. Just as she was about to connect, the Sailor pressed the trigger on the plastic gun. A stream of coloured, glowing bubbles rushed out, and pushed her foe back about twenty metres. "I can't believe this is happening!" yelled Yohko. "Those are BUBBLES! How can they stop me?" She frowned, and resolved to try it again. "Die, devil!" The Mamono Hunter rushed at the blue-haired girl, waving her blade back and forth. Just as she was about to connect, the Sailor pressed the trigger on the plastic gun. A stream of coloured, glowing bubbles rushed out, and pushed her foe back about twenty metres. "I can't believe this is happening!" yelled Yohko. "Those are BUBBLES! How can they stop me?" She frowned, and resolved to try it again. "Die, devil!" The Mamono Hunter rushed at the blue-haired girl, waving her blade back and forth. Just as she was about to connect, the Sailor pressed the trigger on the plastic gun. A stream of coloured, glowing bubbles rushed out, and pushed her foe back about twenty metres. "I can't believe this is happening!" yelled Yohko. "Those are BUBBLES! How can they stop me?" She frowned, and resolved to try it again. From the wreck of the SDF-1, Roy F**ker sighed, and continued to watch. For a fight between two super-powered, scantily-clad, adolescent girls, this was surprisingly boring. Gloval was still unconscious, Lusheeta had curled up and fallen asleep, and Minmei was... F**ker looked around. Where WAS Minmei? "I'm baaaaaaaaack!" chimed a voice from behind some bushes. thought F**ker... "LAPUTA?!? WHERE???" asked Sheeta. F**ker blinked. "Er... Miss? HOW did you do that?" "Do what?" "Read my mind." Sheeta shrugged. "When it comes to Laputa, I can hear anything." "Figures..." Minmei was now standing in front of F**ker. She was standing still. Normally, this would be everyday enough to escape mention, but in this case, the fact that she was standing still was rather... Disconcerting... "Minmei, you DO realise that there are probably laws against indecent exposure here..." Minmei giggled, and nodded. "And you DO realise that you're... Um... Missing your shirt? AND your bra?" Minmei giggled, and nodded. She liked doing that. "Why are you missing them, Minmei?" "The nice man with all the money said he wanted to keep them, so he could remember me!" "What nice man?" "Die, devil!" The Mamono Hunter rushed at the blue-haired girl, waving her blade back and forth. Just as she was about to connect, the Sailor pressed the trigger on the plastic gun. A stream of coloured, glowing bubbles rushed out, and pushed her foe back about twenty metres. "I can't believe this is happening!" yelled Yohko. "Those are BUBBLES! How can they stop me?" She frowned, and resolved to try it again. F**ker sighed. Some people just NEVER gave up... "What nice man? Oh, I don't know his name... But he said I was pretty, and when I said I wanted to order out food but didn't have any money," "Let me guess," interrupted F**ker. "He told you he'd pay you if he let yourself be tickled while you lay on your back." Minmei's eyes widened. "Can YOU read minds TOO???" F**ker shook his head. He always KNEW something like this would happen... "He was such a nice man..." the singer said wistfully. "And look!" she held up a musty old bill. "Now I can buy ICE CREAM!!!" The late pilot didn't even dare to look. "Minmei, what is the number on that bill?" "I don't know... They all look alike. Small, green... It's so hard to tell them apart!" "Look at the corners. How many squiggly things do you see?" "There's one little squiggly thing." "Are you sure there's not two? One beside the other?" "I'm sure." Great. She'd gotten five dollars, tops. "And it's not just a straight line?" "No. It's all snaky." She dropped it with a loud yell. "AIEEE! It's green, and it's snaky! Save me!" "Die, devil!" The Mamono Hunter rushed at the blue-haired girl, waving her blade back and forth. Just as she was about to connect, the Sailor pressed the trigger on the plastic gun. A stream of coloured, glowing bubbles rushed out, and pushed her foe back about twenty metres. "I can't believe this is happening!" yelled Yohko. "Those are BUBBLES! How can they stop me?" She frowned, and resolved to try it again. thought F**ker. "Minmei. Money doesn't bite." "No?" "No." "GOODY! NOW I CAN BUY ICE CREAM!" "Did someone say ICE CREAM???" Serena bounced over gleefully. Minmei nodded. "Can I have some too???" asked Lusheeta, dropping onto her knees and clasping her hands together. "Sure!" said Minmei. "AND ME???" asked Sailor Moon. "Of course!" Minmei picked up the bill and waved it around, jiggling her breasts as she did so. "My treat!" "You can't go to an ice cream parlour like THAT," said F**ker. "You'll get arrested." "Which one of us do you mean?" asked the three girls, in unison. F**ker paused. Come to think of it... "All of you, actually." "WHAT???" "Well, one of you is topless, another looks like a Christmas-tree ornament and might get locked up for suspected insanity, and the third... Well, let's just say it's not a good idea to run around D.C. yelling, 'The whore!' 'The whore!' in Spanish. Not to mention," he added, "That two of you are transparent." "WAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH!" cried Serena. "He called me a Christmas tree ornament!" "You're a pretty ornament," said Sheeta. "You look like one of the cute little plastic reindeer," agreed Minmei. With this, Serena seemed mollified. "But what will we DO??? We're in America, and we can't even buy ICE CREAM!" pouted Minmei. "I hear Baskin-Robbins delivers..." said Serena. "At least, that's what it says on the ads over satellite..." "You watch the ads?" asked F**ker. "I tape them," answered Sailor Moon. "Die, devil!" The Mamono Hunter rushed at the blue-haired girl, waving her blade back and forth. Just as she was about to connect, the Sailor pressed the trigger on the plastic gun. A stream of coloured, glowing bubbles rushed out, and pushed her foe back about twenty metres. "I can't believe this is happening!" yelled Yohko. "Those are BUBBLES! How can they stop me?" She frowned, and resolved to try it again. "You DO realise that your team-mate is engaged in a battle to the death with an angry Devil Hunter who thinks she's a youma..." "Aw, lighten up, ghost-guy," said Serena. "Amy's smart. She wouldn't get in a fight if she..." "Amy? Who's Amy?" asked Lusheeta. Sailor Moon paled. "Amy? She's... uh.... I mean..." She looked at F**ker. "I've done it AGAIN, haven't I?" F**ker nodded. "Oh, boy... Um... Pretend I didn't say that, OK?" "My lips are sealed." "I think I saw a pay phone over there..." volunteered Lusheeta. "Anyone have quarters?" "I DO! I DO!" shouted Minmei. "These little round things, right? I got FIVE of them!" she beamed. "Let's go!" Serena grabbed the two girls by the arm and started bouncing across the blast site. thought F**ker. Meanwhile, the other two were still at it. It seemed Yohko was beginning to get a few sword slashes in, though, since crimson lines now criss-crossed Mercury's outfit. Meanwhile, at the phone booth... Sailor Moon sat cross-legged on the ground, flipping through the yellow pages. "Find anything?" asked Lusheeta. "Not yet... Wait! HERE it is!" "Really?" asked Minmei, jumping up and down. "Really! Try this: 555-4962." "Ok!" The singer reached into her pocket, pulled out a coin, and slipped it into the appropriate slot. Then she took the phone- book from Serena, and dialed each number carefully, double-checking that the pretty little squiggles matched before pressing anything. They waited. And waited. Finally, Minmei hung up. "What happened?" asked Lusheeta. "I got a computer," said Minmei. "It told me, 'The number you have dialed is not in service. Please hang up, and try your call again.'" "That's odd," said Serena, "I'm pretty sure you dialed the right number..." "Maybe they're having a promotion!" said Lusheeta enthusiastically. "Promotion?" Both of the others were puzzled. "Yeah! I'll bet it's written backwards!" "Why?" "It's probably like a code, or something, and they'll give a free ice cream cone to anyone who breaks it!" "REALLY?" asked Minmei. "FREE ICE CREAM?" asked Usagi. Lusheeta nodded repeatedly. "LET'S DO IT!!!" Sailor Moon snatched the phone book, grabbed a quarter, and tried the number in reverse. "2,6,9,4,5,5,5..." she intoned, as she pressed each key. The phone began to glow blue. Serena dropped the handset. As it fell, the receiver began to emit bright beams of azure energy, which eventually lifted the phone from its supports. The machine twirled in mid-air, creating a luminescent hurricane. After almost half a minute of pyrotechnics, the lights died down, and a tattooed figure stood before the trio. "Hi!" said the newcomer, putting down her cup of ice cream momentarily. "You've reached the goddess help hotline. Skuld, at your service." whispered Minmei to Serena. chimed in Lusheeta. "Well?" The patron goddess of physics undergrads tapped her foot impatiently. "Which one of you made the wish?" "Wish?" "Which one of you called me? Hurry up! I don't have all day, you know..." The topless Minmei, Sheeta, and Sailor Moon began to sweat. Profusely. Anxiously, they looked at each other, then nodded, before pointing to F**ker in unison. "HE DID!" they said. F**ker continued watching the fight, sadly. Nothing had changed. Just the same old thing... Rush, slash, blast, back. Rush, slash, blast, back. How much BLOOD did that blue-haired girl HAVE in her, anyway? Seemed like she'd already spilled more than twelve gallons... He sighed. "Now I REALLY wish I with Nina..." Behind him, a column of brightness shot down from the heavens directly onto Skuld. She levitated, closed her eyes, and then floated back down. "Commander F**ker, approach," she said, as the pillar of light disappeared. "What?" F**ker turned around. "Who ARE you?" "Your wish has been approved." "Approved? Wish? What? But I..." "Enjoy!" The goddess twitched her nose, and disappeared. "I take it you three had something to do with this..." he growled at the girls. Thankfully, they were spared the need for answering, because two giant robots chose that particular moment to materialise out of thin air, about two hundred metres above the ground. "Die, devil!" The Mamono Hunter rushed at the blue-haired girl, waving her blade back and forth. Just as she was about to connect, the Sailor pressed the trigger on the plastic gun. Before the bubbles came out, though, her life was abruptly ended via the precipitous arrival of the Gundam Unit 2. On her head. To even out the situation, another robot, an orange-and-yellow female-looking one, landed on top of the Devil Hunter. "That must have hurt..." remarked Minmei. "Hey, look!" Lusheeta pointed at what was left of Mercury's body. Only her boots were sticking out from under the mobile battle suit. "Isn't she SHRINKING?" Indeed she was. The body underneath the clothes shrivelled up, until all that was left was a pair of empty boots, a crushed bubble blaster and a transformation wand. The Queen of Laputa tugged at the ghost-pilot's shirtsleeve. "F**ker! F**ker! What's wrong?" F**ker was too busy gawking at the new arrivals to answer her. A hatch opened on top of the female robot's head. A woman stepped out into the daylight, and took off her piloting helmet. "Nina! It's F**ker!" he shouted. From the top of the 'mech, Nina Purpleton began to wave. When she saw who was BEHIND her acquaintance, however, the friendly greeting gesture stopped, and instead she pulled out a very large, very powerful-looking blaster and jumped down to intercept him. "F**KER NO HENTAI! What's the idea two-timing me? Is it my imagination, or is that LYNN MINMEI behind you?!?!?" "That blaster... It's a new look for you, isn't it, Nina?" The ghost was sweating. A lot. "Stop with the small-talk." She looked at Sheeta. As she did so, her eyes grew wider and her brow more furrowed. "You mean it wasn't enough for you to go out with the biggest slut in the universe, but you also had to snuggle up to a KID!" F**ker waved his hands about, trying to find a way to sort this out. "And WHAT, pray tell," asked Nina, pointing at Serena, "is THAT? It looks like some sort of super-deformed plastic reindeer Christmas-tree ornament!" "Thank-you!" said Sailor Moon, bouncing up and down. Suddenly, a look of concern filled her face. "Wait a minute..." she said. "Are you the one that was piloting the robot that fell on Sailor Mercury?" "Is that the one with the boots sticking out?" "Yeah." "No. The one I was piloting landed on the other one." "Oh, good. Then I don't have to kill you. I like you!" "But I DID design the one that landed on Mercury." "What???" Sailor Moon began striking funny poses. "What's wrong with her?" asked Nina. "Did someone slip a cabbit in her dress?" "Long story," said F**ker. "In the name of the moon, I will punish you!" said Sailor Moon. She grabbed her tiara and prepared to toss it. "Moon... Tiara... Ma... Ungh!" Nina blew the smoke off the top of her blaster as Serena fell to the ground. "You KILLED HER!" said Sheeta. "No I didn't. It was only on 'stun'." "More's the pity," said F**ker. "MORE than pretty!" said Minmei. "That looked NICE!" Nina blinked. "She likes bright glowing things," explained the late pilot. "AND small shiny things, puppies, candy, toys..." "I get the picture, Roy." Her eyes narrowed. "Now, back to the topic at hand..." She raised her blaster. "I can explain!" said F**ker. "I'll LOVE to hear THIS," said Purpleton. "You can give me a logical reason why a topless Minmei is standing behind you with two other girls?" The late pilot nodded nervously. "Talk, lover-boy," said Nina, pointing her blaster at his head. "Well, it's, uh.." "Tell them about the money the nice man gave you," Lusheeta prompted Minmei. Nina almost dropped her gun. "Oh, so THAT'S the way it is!" "IT'S NOT LIKE THAT!" "Then HOW IS IT???" Desperate for an exit, F**ker looked around. he thought. Then, the two mechs wandered into field of vision... He smiled. "Are you sure you have a RIGHT to complain, Nina?" "Huh?" "I mean... I may have three girls with me, but what are you doing with Unit 2 and the Aphrodite A?" "I... I don't know what you mean..." Now Nina was the one sweating. "Come on," said F**ker, "We all know who... Sorry, WHAT you REALLY love... You've been infatuated with Unit 2 for as long as you have been with Uraki..." "I DUMPED Uraki!" "Don't change the subject." "I... But..." "Is it any coincidence that the Aphrodite A is the only mech I know of that can allow you to... Er..." A pause. "I don't think I should go any further. It's clear enough, anyway..." "What's clear?" asked Minmei. "Tell us!" said Lusheeta. "NO!" shouted Nina. "Ok, ok... You're right." She put down the blaster. "I won't harass you any more... Just DON'T corrupt these children." "I thought you'd implied that I'd ALREADY corrupted them!" "That's different." "Right. This time, YOU'RE the one to lose face if I blab." He turned to Minmei and the others. "What should I do?" "BLAB!" "No!!!!" "Well, then, Nina. Care to 'explain'? If you're so virtuous, then..." Nina cast her eyes downwards, and kicked the dust at her feet. "A girl gets lonely, you know," she mumbled softly. "With you gone, and nothing to do, I just..." "You just decided to borrow the Aphrodite A, right? What a coincidence... Just after they installed that neural link, too.. What did Mazinger have to say about this? They both have AI, you know." "Mazinger doesn't know about it yet." "So THAT'S the way it is..." Nina blushed. "Well... I DID design Unit 2 rather well... It seems that Aphrodite A wasn't too averse to the idea..." Their conversation was interrupted by a small roundish object rapidly approaching at what F**ker estimated to be Mach 2. "Pretty topless lady!" It shouted, and continued to run forward, far too fast for anyone to make out details. Soon, though, its destination was clear. "Minmei!" shouted F**ker. "Look out! I think it's going to..." Too late. The brownish ball jumped towards the singer, THROUGH her chest, and past the ethereal ex-pilot, finally settling on Nina's bosom. thought F**ker. "Sugoi!" shouted Happosai, as he glomped the engineer. "What a catch! What a catch!" "AIEEEEEEEEEEE! HENTAI!" Nina dropped her blaster, grabbed the two-foot pervert, and kicked him with all her might. He slid across the ground for a few metres, and tried to grab onto the topsoil, but eventually he was sent into a neat parabolic, airborne trajectory. Soiled female unmentionables fell everywhere from the sack on his back as he flew. "I'm losing my haul, but it was worth iiiiiiiii..." yelled the old man, as he continued to rise. "Well, Minmei," said F**ker. "Look on the bright side. At least NOW we can get you covered..." "Roy?" Purpleton was staring at the pervert, making quick mental calculations. "Yes?" "There might not be that much of a bright side." "What do you mean?" "Then again, it might be 'brighter' than you expected it." "Nani?" "You know ballistics are a specialty of mine..." "Hai." "At this rate, he'll land right on Aphrodite A's chest." "But... That should be all right... The AI was turned off so you could pilot it, right?" "Yes... But if anything should THREATEN the unit..." "Oh, boy..." "Two nuclear warheads going off in the middle of a city 'bright' enough for you?" Sure enough. In no time flat, the master of the 'Anything-Goes School of Martial Arts' fell between the giant robot's metallic breasts. His ancient eyes doubled in size from appreciation of the electronic 'assets'. "WHAT A HAUL! WHAT A HAUL!" he yelled ecstatically. As he glomped the twin warheads, Aphrodite A's optical sensors lit up, and all around her frame, gears began to whirr, and pistons to pump. >WARNING< said a tinny voice from a speaker. >WARNING. INTRUDER DETECTED. POSSIBLE DANGER. RECOMMEND IMMEDIATE ELIMINATION.< "Location? I don't have full sensors back yet... That was quite a fall..." This time, a female voice. "She even SOUNDS beautiful!" said Happosai, and hugged the mounds even more tightly. >INTRUDER IS LOCATED ON MAIN ABDOMINAL FRAME, UPPER SECTION.< The robot's head turned to look at her chest. "AIEEEEEEEEEEEEE!" it yelled. "HENTAI!" A pause. "KAKA NO MUNE!*" *[Loosely translated, 'Nuclear Nipples!'] With that, the missiles fired from her chest, taking Happi with them. "Um.." said F**ker. "AI's gotten a lot more advanced since _I_ last piloted an alpha... And I must admit, I'll never think of amMUNition* in quite the same way again..." [*Translingual pun.] Nina beamed. "I programmed her myself!" "I can tell..." said F**ker. "Same type of reaction..." "Thanks, Roy!" Purpleton smiled. "Does this mean you're not mad at me anymore?" "Hey!" said Minmei. "That looked like the nice man that tickled me!" "WHAT???" "Not EXACTLY the same, but almost..." "Wait a minute," said Roy. "That ball of panties went THROUGH you when he tried to latch onto you... How come the other man didn't?" "That's RIGHT!" said Nina. She looked at Roy. "And you STILL haven't told me why these people are ghosts... According to the registrar, Minmei's not due in yet. I checked. Frequently." "Well... I..." F**ker sighed. "It's kind of complicated... I'll tell you later, but for now I think we'd better figure out WHO it is that can interact physically with ghosts. If whoever-it-is is as large a pervert as he seems, and if he finds out about the afterworld..." "I see your point," said Nina, "but I'd LOVE to see him try something on Kagero." F**ker laughed. "I STILL remember the headache that poison of hers gave me last time _I_ tried something..." "You TRIED something with Kagero? WHILE I was in the same plane???" "Uh-oh." Nina pulled out her blaster, and prepared to fire. Happosai sailed through the air atop one of the missiles, enjoying the ride and the fresh, cool breeze. Fools. They thought they could get rid of him THIS easily? Not a chance. He'd been knocked into low earth orbit so many times that flying through the air at supersonic speeds had become second nature to him. And, even though he'd lost his panties, he'd managed to pick up something far more valuable... A transformation wand. He'd heard of them, of course, and tried to get a hold of one for AGES, but they just didn't seem to EXIST in his dimension. In THIS dimension, however, they'd just tossed one at his feet. Or, rather, they'd just tossed his feet at one. He laughed. This was going to be fun... He racked his brain, trying to remember his classes in alchemy. Below him was now a large pond in the middle of a park.