I hate crying in public.  I shouldn't have read this in the computer lab.

     I was really glad my roommate wasn't here when I read this one.

This one could even stand alone, with only very minor changes.

     Yeah, but I like happy endings....

 I saw some of the replies asking about the sudden cutoffs of words, and 
your explanation, so I knew what that was when I saw it.  But I think 
that technique worked well.  It might be helped, as someone suggested, by 
making it clear that all those scenes were happening at the same time. 

     I see what he was trying to do, but maybe just adding "..." (has to be
three dots, I think) at the end of the halfway finished word might help us
to see that it was intentional.
--
Ben Kosse bmk7411@cs.rit.edu
BGC Otaku and worshipper of the Red-Eyed Goddess and her music.
Anime, RPG's, computers, poetry (read/write), music (listen/compose).
Author of the Bubblegum Crisis theme pack (see the homepage below).
Homepage with anime and other interests. (http://www.rit.edu/~bmk7411)