"Lawrence R. Mann " <lrmann@orion.oac.uci.edu>
"Ryan Mathews" <mathews1@ix.netcom.com>
------------------------------------------------------------------------
The Dirty Pair (and Company)
in
R E U N I O N S
by
Larry Mann and Ryan Mathews
------------------------------------------------------------------------
REUNIONS Copyright (c) 1995 Larry Mann and Ryan Mathews
------------------------------------------------------------------------
---------------
P R O L O G U E
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A.D. 213903.15; 16:02:25
Planet Elenore, WWWA Central Headquarters, Operations Complex
[Scene: Operations Director Ayoob, a bald man with one eye replaced by a
camera-like device, sits at his desk. The vidphone beeps. A man appears on
the other end, sweating profusely.]
AYOOB
What is it?
MAN
It's...Subject 101-E, sir. I'm afraid we have a Code 13. We lost her.
[Ayoob pales.]
AYOOB
When did this happen? How?
MAN
Just after they boarded Lacombe's ship. I'm afraid she'd warped out by the
time the cleanup force arrived. We don't have any idea where she went.
We're--
[Ayoob angrily cuts him off]
AYOOB
Details, dammit, give me details! Don't just tell me there's a Code 13!
What the hell happened?!
MAN
We don't know! She just went berserk! The partner's dead, shot through the
back. The two rookies are injured, but they'll survive. That's the only
reason we even know about this. She tried to cover her tracks by removing
LaCombe's corpse and making off in his ship, but the rookies told us what
happened.
As per the standing orders regarding Code 13, the partner's brain was placed
in cryogenic suspension for transport to Elenore. It should be arriving in
two days.
[Ayoob thinks.]
AYOOB
It's just too damn convenient. To suffer a loss of control at the exact
moment she could escape. It's almost as if... No, she couldn't possibly
have planned a malfunction...
MAN
Sir? Do you have orders for us?
AYOOB
No orders. Until you hear otherwise, this never happened. Deirdre was
killed by Lacombe, as was Shasti. Follow the guidelines given in the
standing orders. That will be all.
MAN
But...but...
AYOOB
I said that will be all.
MAN
But sir, the others and I have been thinking, what if she tries to hunt us
down? There's no contingency plan for that!
AYOOB
She won't. We made her too smart for that. Whatever she does, I'm sure
it will be much more creative.
* * * * *
A.D. 2141xx.xx [Exact time unknown, sometime after the
Lyra Disaster of 2141]
Location unknown
[Slowly dissolve to a luxurious bedroom on a spaceship. Shasti,
asleep in the bed, tosses and turns, as we hear voices from
her past...]
SHASTI (V-O)
So... (hic) I hope y'll wanna be my frien's... okay?
KEI (V-O)
Shashti, I'll drink t'tha'!
YURI (V-O)
Me too... frien's, yeah...
[Pause.]
SHASTI (V-O)
I... I really like you, Deirdre... You're the best friend I have right
now...maybe the only friend...
DEIRDRE (V-O)
I like you, too. Like... I think you're the most awesome girl I've ever met!
SHASTI (V-O)
No matter what happens, we're partners, right?
DEIRDRE (V-O)
That's right, partner... Buddies to the end!
[Suddenly we hear the gunshot that felled Deirdre.
Shasti bolts awake.]
SHASTI
DEIRDRE!!!!!!! (pant pant)
[Shasti takes a deep breath. She touches a panel by her bed,
illuminating her quarters, and gets out of bed. She looks at herself in
a mirror, disgusted.]
Weak. So damn WEAK! Sometimes you really make me sick.
[A knocking is heard at the bedroom door. Shasti looks around.]
SHASTI
Who is it?
PAUL
It's Paul. Are you alright in there? I heard screaming.
SHASTI
I'm fine. It's... It was just a bad dream, that's all.
[Paul opens the door a crack and peeks in.]
PAUL
Mind if I come in?
SHASTI [tired]
No. No, go right ahead.
PAUL
What's this about a bad dream? I didn't even know you *had*
dreams.
SHASTI
Oh, I have them alright. Very vivid ones.
PAUL
Anything you want to talk about?
SHASTI
No. Don't worry about me. It's probably just a side-effect
of the healing process.
PAUL
Well, then it's probably a good sign. You're bouncing back
fast, you know. Thirty-eight seconds in unprotected vacuum
would have any of us out for weeks, if we hadn't died already
from an embolism.
SHASTI
I always bounce back fast, Paul. It's the story of my life.
PAUL
Well, as long as you're okay.
[Shasti is silent, Paul turns to leave.]
SHASTI
Paul...
PAUL
Mm?
SHASTI
Have you ever... well, have you ever betrayed a friend?
PAUL
What kind of question is that?
SHASTI
Never mind.
PAUL
Shasti, I don't make friends. I never have, you know that.
Friends are suicide in this business. They screw up your
judgement.
SHASTI
I wasn't always in this business, Paul. I used to be on the
side of the angels.
PAUL [semi-sarcastic]
And you had lots of friends?
SHASTI
No. One. Sort of. She helped me when no one else would.
She helped me to survive. I wouldn't have made it without
her.
PAUL
If I remember this story right, babe, you *didn't* make it.
SHASTI
No. But... but that wasn't her fault. It-- Oh, why am I
carrying on like this? I don't even remember what she looked like,
except in my enhanced memory. I don't remember what it was like
to have her as a friend--
[Shasti begins to shiver]
No, that's not true. I remember every goddamn MORNING and
then I wake up screaming and--OH GOD I KILLED HER!! I JUST
BLEW HER AWAY!!
[Shasti begins sobbing hysterically, then stops as her
warrior personality takes over. Paul swallows and takes a
step back.]
SHASTI
WEAK! YOU ARE SO...FUCKING...WEAK!!!!
[She throws a vicious punch at the mirror, smashing it
into pieces. She is immediately calm once more, and
examines a cut on her finger.]
Oh, my. Look at that. I cut myself. I better calm down,
huh?
[Paul waits a moment to be certain the storm is over, then
approaches Shasti, tentatively.]
PAUL
Shasti, listen to me. What's done is done. You can't change the past.
Whatever it was you did, I'm sure you think it was pretty horrible.
Hell, I've done enough stuff to keep a confession priest occupied for
years. But you can't dwell on it, or you won't survive.
SHASTI
I know, I know. I apologize, Paul. I must seem awfully
silly to you right now.
PAUL
God, Shasti, if there's anything you aren't, it's silly. I
just don't understand why all this is coming out now.
SHASTI
Those two airheads, the redhead and the brunette, the ones
who screwed our caper all to hell? They were there when it
happened. It's just a matter of connected memories.
PAUL
Well, if you're feeling better, I'll be going.
SHASTI
Hey, Paul.
[Paul turns around, a trifle annoyed.]
PAUL
What is it now?
SHASTI
If you had to kill me to successfully pull off a caper, would you?
[Paul smiles.]
PAUL
Of course. Or at least I'd try. That's the name of the
game, honey. You'd do the same, right?
SHASTI
Don't be silly, of course I would.
PAUL
See? That's what I love about our relationship. Total
honesty.
SHASTI [laughs]
Total honesty. That's so refreshing.
PAUL
I'll be going now.
[He turns to leave.]
SHASTI
Paul...
PAUL
WHAT?!?!
SHASTI
You could stay here tonight.
[He laughs out loud and pounces on her.]
* * * * *
A.D. 214204.18; 17:24:00
Planet Elenore, WWWA Central Headquarters
[Scene: Kei and Yuri are being debriefed by Goulet. Yuri's taking
it pretty well, but Kei's got a bad case of the squirms.]
GOULET
Let's go through this one more time. You're telling me that Lord
Robin never did warp his fleet directly into orbit around a planet?
YURI
No. He used half-warp.
GOULET
Explain it one more time.
KEI
Oh, come on!
GOULET
KEI!!
KEI
Alright, alright, alright. Hey, eating and sleeping are highly
overrated anyway...
[Yuri tries to illustrate with her hands.]
YURI
The way it was described to me was that the ship warps from one end,
but doesn't materialize at the other. It gets interrupted and enters
this other dimension, called "mock-space". This lets it travel around
like a phantom, unseen, so it can sneak into orbit without the planet
knowing it's there.
GOULET
But they're cut off from the outside universe?
YURI
Right.
GOULET
So how do they find their way around?
YURI
I don't know.
GOULET
How do they get out of mock-space?
YURI
I don't know.
KEI
She doesn't know, okay? Can't you get that through your head?
GOULET [annoyed]
Kei, do you have any idea what the existence of this technology means?
KEI
Yeah! It means I get to sit here for hours, starving and bored out
of my gourd while you yammer at us!
GOULET
Damn it, it's the ultimate stealth system! In the long run, what
Lord Robin did to the UG would be peanuts compared to what could happen
if this system falls into the wrong hands! Think how easy it would be
to pull off a robbery with an invisible and intangible escape ship!
YURI
So what are you going to do about it?
GOULET
The 3WA will likely decide that it's imperative that they reinvent the
technology first, if only to invent a practical defense against it.
I'm going to let you two go, but I want you to record everything you
remember about the operation, no matter how trivial you may think it was.
[Kei yawns.]
THAT MEANS YOU TOO, KEI!
[Kei groans.]
* * * * *
A.D. 2142xx.xx [Exact date unknown]
Planet Alderon
[Scene: the filthy bar on Alderon where Kei and Yuri first met Lord
Robin. The regulars are still in the bar, but it's not as busy a
place as the last time we saw it. There is a tangible air of
depression about. The doors swing open and in walks Shasti, looking
as gorgeous as always. She saunters up to the bar and sits down,
drawing attention from everyone who still cares enough to give it.]
BARTENDER
We don't often get your class of customer here. What can I get you?
SHASTI [smiling]
The Songbird Cocktail.
[That gets everyone's attention.]
BARTENDER
Uh, lady, we don't serve that anymore. Only one guy knew the recipe, and
he's dead. Sure you wouldn't like something more ordinary? We got some
Scotch that's okay if you drink it fast.
SHASTI
I'd rather have the Songbird Cocktail. If you don't know how to make
one, I'd love to have a go at it myself.
[People begin to stand up. A large, scarred man walks over to her.]
SCARS
Look, lady, leave us alone, okay? I don't know what you're looking
for, but we can't give it to you. We weren't the elite troops, we
were the dregs. We're only here because we don't have anything better
to do.
SHASTI
Why don't you let me be the judge of that?
BARTENDER
What are you suggesting? You want to lead us?
SCARS
You're trouble, lady. C'mon, you're leaving.
[Scars tries to pick Shasti up off the stool, only to find himself on the
floor a second later, nursing a broken arm. Five others run over and try
to subdue Shasti, then three more. In less time than it takes to
tell, Shasti deals with them all (in various non-lethal but painful
ways), tosses her hair back into place and sits down.]
SHASTI
Now that we've gotten that out of the way, let's talk business.
* * * * *
A.D. 214303.1x [Exact date classified]
Planet Elenore, WWWA Central Headquarters
[Scene: An older Ayoob in conference with the Central Computer. He
stands in a domed room with no chairs. Viewscreens show various
enhancements of a blurry picture, which shows, from an odd angle, a
group of armed people leaving a building.]
AYOOB
Have you reached a conclusion?
CC
AFFIRMATIVE. THERE IS A 94.6% CHANCE THAT THE FEMALE DEPICTED AS
LEADING THE OPERATION IS SUBJECT 101-E.
AYOOB
Suggested action?
CC
SUBJECT 101-E IS TOO DANGEROUS, BOTH TO THE UNITED GALACTICA AND THE WORLDS
WELFARE WORK ASSOCIATION. SHE MUST BE EITHER RETRIEVED OR DESTROYED.
SUGGESTION: FORM TASK FORCE. TASK FORCE SHOULD CONSIST OF SPECIALISTS IN
TACTICS, DEDUCTION, WEAPONRY, AS WELL AS SPECIALISTS IN DEALING WITH SUBJECT
101-E. SUGGEST: ACTIVATE AI CHIP OF PARTNER OF SUBJECT 101-E, AND RETRIEVE
PSYCHOLOGIST WHOSE TASK IT WAS TO MONITOR THE MENTAL DEVELOPMENT OF SUBJECT
101-E.
AYOOB
The psychologist? You mean Fisher? I'm not sure that's a good idea. There
was a very good reason why we supressed Shasti's memories of him.
CC
ANALYSIS COMPLETE. SUGGESTIONS HAVE BEEN GIVEN.
AYOOB
Of course, I should know better than to try to change the mind of a computer.
I'll have someone try to look him up. He could be anywhere in the galaxy.
End session.
CC
HAVE A NICE DAY.
AYOOB
Heh.
* * * * *
A.D. 214303.18; 00:03:25
Damocles Tower
[Scene: Yuri is at the door of the apartment she shares with Kei. She
has a grocery bag in one hand. With the other, she rings the door buzzer.
Getting no answer, she fumbles for her passcard.]
YURI [annoyed]
Kei, if you're going to send me out for ice cream at this ungodly hour of the
night, the least you could do is stay awake to let me in.
[She inserts her passcard, and the door slides open. However, the lights
do not come on.]
YURI
Huh?
[She feels for the manual switch inside the door. The door closes.]
VOICE
The lights won't work. Neither will the door.
[Yuri freezes.]
YURI
Who are you? Where's Kei?
VOICE
You don't recognize my voice? I'm heartbroken. After you sent me to that
prison colony for five years, I thought you'd at least do me the courtesy
of reserving a few bytes of memory for me in that air bubble you call a
brain.
[Yuri starts to feel along the wall. She finds what she wants.]
As for Kei, she's dead. I broke her spine 35 centimeters above the hip,
then disemboweled her as she watched. Don't worry, I'll be far more
creative with you.
YURI [to herself]
Keep talking, asshole.
[She opens a small panel behind her back and takes hold of a gun.]
I still don't know who you are. If you kill me without letting me know
who you are, it makes the revenge kinda worthless doesn't it?
VOICE
Oh, I'll tell you. I'll tell you after I've broken your--
YURI
DIE!!!
[Yuri "fires" at the voice. The gun doesn't work.]
Oh, shit.
VOICE
HEIYAAAA!
[A dark shape flips through the air, and suddenly someone has Yuri in a
choke hold. She struggles, but can't break free.]
VOICE
You and me, we're gonna have fun. We're gonna party all night. In fact,
I feel like partying right now. TURN ON THE LIGHTS!
YURI
Huh?
[The lights come on. Yuri is momentarily blinded, but soon her eyes focus
and she sees:
Kei and Rumiko standing in front of a huge cake and a pile of presents.]
KEI and RUMIKO
SURPRISE!!! HAPPY BIRTHDAY!!
YURI
Wuh-wuh...
[She slips out of the now loose choke-hold, and turns around to
see Darryn in a black ninja suit.]
Darryn?
DARRYN
I hope I didn't overdo it. It was Kei's idea. She wanted to give you a
21st birthday you'd always remember.
[Yuri looks stunned, then winces and clutches her chest.]
YURI
AAAAAUGH! Oh god, not now!
[She drops to her knees.]
KEI [rushing over]
Yuri! What's wrong?
YURI
H....heart condition. I lied about it when I entered the 3WA. Paid UNGH!
Paid people to doctor the medical reports. D-didn't think anything could
possibly jolt me enough to set it off. Guess I was wrong, huh? AAAAGGH!
[She drops to the floor, sweating.]
Oh, shit, this hurts.
RUMIKO [running to the comm]
I'll, I'll call for the meds!
DARRYN
Yuri, stay awake! Don't pass out.
[Yuri groans. Kei starts to cry.]
KEI
Oh, god, Yuri, don't die! Please don't die! I'm so sorry, I didn't mean for
this to happen!
YURI [weakly]
N...not your fault. Kei, could you...come close? Something...I gotta tell
you, and... and I can't breathe...
KEI
Of course! Anything! Anything!
[She leans over Yuri.]
I'm here, Yuri! What is it?
YURI
K-kei?
KEI
Yes?
YURI
You are SO STUPID!!!!!!
[She grabs Kei around the neck.]
REVENGE NOOGIE!!!
[There is silence for a bit as Yuri violently rubs Kei's head. Then everyone
except for Kei cracks up.]
DARRYN [wiping his eyes]
Hoo boy! I guess we deserved that.
YURI
You're darn right you did! I could've seriously hurt you, Darryn!
[Darryn raises an eyebrow.]
Oh, alright, I guess I couldn't have. You're a smug little ninja, aren't
you?
[Yuri helps Kei up.]
KEI
Once again, Yuri fakes her death, and once again, I fall for it. I'm so
embarrassed, I think I'm going to have to get seriously drunk.
RUMIKO [holding up a bottle of Scotch]
Race you there!
[Fade to later. Rumiko and Kei are three sheets to the wind. Yuri is
slightly high, but Darryn hasn't been drinking at all. The two more sober
characters sit at opposite ends of a couch while the two drunken girls
are spread out on the floor.]
YURI
Won't you have even one glass? It's really good stuff. By the way, thanks,
Rumiko. Where did you find it?
RUMIKO
I haddit imported! Itcher twenny first, Yoori. Couldn't serve ya the same
old synthetic shhhhhhhhit!
KEI [her face in the rug]
Fergh glargh blubbin' shizz grubs.
RUMIKO
What she said!
[She raises a glass in a toast to something, then downs it.]
DARRYN
No, thanks, Yuri. A ninja needs all his brain cells.
RUMIKO
Awwwwwww, thhhhhpppfffft! Itz 2143! There's plenny a' ways ta replace
brain cells.
[Kei gets up.]
KEI
Hey, Darryn!
[She falls on her face and lies there.]
YURI
Man, twenty-one already. I can hardly believe it.
DARRYN
What I can't believe is all you've accomplished in the last four years.
Rumiko and I never got a reputation that fast.
YURI
Heh. You want our reputation? You can have it.
DARRYN
It's not all bad. You still have a 100% success record going. We
NightRiders blew our sixth case.
RUMIKO
Seventh, Darryn darlin'. And that's jus' becuzz they didn' give uzz good
info on the targets.
[Kei gets up and decides to give it another try.]
KEI
Hey, Darryn!
[She tries to slink up to him but manages only an epileptic wobble.]
I've always wondered somethin'.
DARRYN
Shoot.
KEI
Of the two of you, Rumiko has the Jabbanese name. So how come yer th' ninja?
DARRYN
Names don't mean that much anymore, Kei. I probably have as many Japanese
genes in my matrix as Rumiko.
[Kei leans in close to Darryn and smiles, causing Darryn to wince at her
breath.]
KEI
Hey, Darryn. I godda Jabbanese name, too. Only mine's a boy's. That means
I have a boyish personality.
RUMIKO
Also means you better stay 'way from Darryn or have your nose crammed up your
other end...
KEI
Oooh! Oooh! Them's fightin' words!
[The comm rings. Darryn gets up.]
DARRYN [relieved]
I'll get it.
KEI
I wan' satisfaction! You impugned my impugnity!
RUMIKO
Waddya have in mind?
KEI
Aaaaaaaaaa drinkin' contest!
RUMIKO
Wuzz the sense? We're already plastered!
KEI
So? Id'll be a short contes'!
[Cut to Darryn at the comm. We can't hear the other speaker.]
DARRYN
Hello. This is Darryn. No, we're up. We're having a party. Well,
I can get Yuri, but Kei's not--
[pause, Darryn listens]
Yes, sir. Yes, I'll tell them.
[Kei and Rumiko have already drunk most of another bottle of Scotch.]
RUMIKO
Yer turn.
[to Yuri:]
She's goin' down.
KEI
You wish, you old bag.
[Darryn returns.]
DARRYN
Bad news, folks. We've been ordered to report to a briefing at 0900 tomorrow.
Something's come up. I wasn't told what it was, but they want the Lovely
Angels, the NightRiders, and another outfit called the Lonely Hearts to
report.
YURI
SIX trouble consultants? Holeeeee...
KEI
Awwwwwwwww... That sucksssss...
RUMIKO
Are you gonna drink or what?
[Kei knocks the shot back and slams the glass on the table.]
KEI
Hah! How ya like that!
[Kei's eyes roll back and she passes out, face down in a bowl of pretzels.
Rumiko starts to dance.]
RUMIKO
I win! I win! Iiiiiiiiiiiii....
[She passes out herself.]
YURI
Well, Darryn, looks like the party's over anyway. Guess I'll see you tomorrow
morning.
DARRYN
See you later, then. Oops, almost forgot.
[He picks up Rumiko.]
Wouldn't want to leave without this.
--- END PROLOGUE ---
NEXT >>> "Shasti is the 3WA's dirty little secret."
----------------------------------------------------------------------------
Comments? Larry and Ryan would love to read 'em!
Larry (original idea, plot, formatting, and illustrations)
is at "lrmann@uci.edu"
Ryan (plot, script)
is at "mathews1@ix.netcom.com"
--
"Again and again the laws of | Larry Mann a.k.a. R-Type
nature prove laws aren't enough." | <lrmann@uci.edu>
- Thomas Dolby | Writer/Illustrator for hire
[Note: Not all the stages actually have illustrations attached to them.
Those that do will have the flag "ILLUSTRATION AVAILABLE" at the
beginning of the text. Just so you're aware. :) -Larry]
[ILLUSTRATION AVAILABLE]
- - -
------------------------------------------------------------------------
The Dirty Pair (and Company)
in
R E U N I O N S
by
Larry Mann and Ryan Mathews
------------------------------------------------------------------------
"There are several ways to portray a living hell. You can
view it from up high, with the flames and writhing victims
creating fantastic patterns and frescoes. You can go down
to eye-level and let the violence and pain whip past you.
Or you can stay on a face or two and watch hell grow in
the eyes."
- Michael Wilmington,
from an article in the
Los Angeles Times, Planet Earth.
A.D. 199210.16, Page F1(+), col. 4
---------------
P A R T O N E
---------------
A.D. 214303.18, 09:00:00
Planet Elenore, WWWA Central Headquarters
[Scene: A WWWA briefing room. Both the Lovely Angels and the NightRiders
are present, seated along a table. Yuri, Darryn, and Rumiko look fine,
if tired, but Kei looks horrible. She stares into a cup of coffee as if
she hopes to see her fortune in it.]
KEI
I'm gonna die...
RUMIKO
Why don't you just take a couple of anti-alcohol pills? They work wonders
for me.
KEI
Because if I do, I'll blow my groceries all over the table.
YURI
Kei's violently allergic to that stuff.
DARRYN
Then maybe you shouldn't drink so much.
[Kei and Rumiko both give Darryn a look.]
KEI & RUMIKO
Get real.
YURI
So who are the other two trouble consultants we're working with?
KEI
The Lonely Hearts? Never heard of 'em.
DARRYN
I looked up their file. They're a young team. They have a perfect
record, but they've only had two missions.
RUMIKO
Girls? Guys? Both?
DARRYN
Two girls. They--
[Two female trouble consultants, one taller with long red hair, and a shorter
one with wavy blonde hair to her shoulders, come crashing through the doors.
The taller one speaks.]
DAPHNE
Is this the place? I hope we're not too late.
KEI
You the Lonely Hearts?
NENE
Yup! That's us! I'm Nene and this is--
YURI
Daphne?
[Yuri is on her feet, looking at Daphne as if she'd seen a ghost.]
DAPHNE
Hi, Yuri, how's tricks?
YURI
A-aren't you dead?
DAPHNE
[slight pause]
They didn't tell you? No, I survived. My right eye and ear are fake,
but otherwise I'm fine.
YURI [still stunned]
Oh.
DAPHNE
No wonder you never came to visit me. I thought you'd lost respect for
me, cuz, you know, cuz I got myself blown up.
YURI
Oh, Daphne, I missed you!
DAPHNE
I missed you too!
[The two hug]
RUMIKO
You mind letting the rest of us in on this?
YURI
This is Daphne. The two of us were friends at the academy.
KEI
Yeah, but I thought you went into the Econ Corps, Daph.
DAPHNE
I did, but after my injury, I decided to retrain as a TC. Not that there
was anything wrong with helping new colonies balance their books, but I
wanted to prevent the kind of thing that happened to me, you know. Then
when I heard about this case having something to do with Lord Robin, I
begged to get in on the team.
RUMIKO
Oh, god, *that's* where you got hurt? I was at that meeting too. It was
a miracle that I came through without a scratch.
DAPHNE
The stupid thing is, I wasn't even supposed to be there! I was waiting
outside for a friend when I heard the shots and rushed in to help.
NENE
Yeah, Daphne's a little impulsive from time to time. I have to rein her
in a little. (giggle)
[Nene notices Kei and Yuri.]
Wow, are you the Lovely Angels? I've read so much about you!
YURI
And you're not running away screaming? Hey, Kei, there may be hope yet!
[Another door, one that leads to an inner office, opens, and Ayoob walks
out, carrying a case and accompanied by a thin, dark-haired young man
wearing large, round glasses. The man looks distressed and withdrawn.]
AYOOB
Just take a seat, Mr. Fisher. I'll introduce you in a moment.
["Fisher" sits down, as do Nene and Daphne. Kei recognizes the Lovely
Angels' former boss.]
KEI
Yoober! Long time, no see! Remember us?
AYOOB [sarcastically]
Yes, unfortunately. The memory purge treatments didn't take. I hear
Goulet is having just as much fun with you as I used to.
YURI
That's Kei and me! We're just two fun-lovin' girls!
AYOOB
Yes, the circles under Kei's eyes would tend to corroborate that. Darryn,
Rumiko. I have much more pleasant memories of you two. Keeping busy?
DARRYN
Not really. We trashed the _Intruder_ on our last mission. We were on
vacation until the repairs were finished.
[Ayoob turns to the other two girls.]
AYOOB
You must be the Lonely Hearts. I haven't met you yet. My name is Ayoob.
NENE (brightly)
Pleased ta meetcha!
AYOOB
I used to be unit supervisor to both the Lovely Angels and the
NightRiders here. I've since moved up to administration, but it was
decided that I should supervise this mission.
RUMIKO
What mission? I'm getting real curious.
KEI
Yeah, what kind of mission needs six trouble consultants? Are we taking
on an army or something?
[Ayoob places the case on the table. Ayoob has also been holding a
software plug in his right hand. He hands it to Kei.]
AYOOB
Hold on to this and I'll explain. I just broke the case for it.
[Ayoob picks up a remote control unit from the table and aims it at
the far wall, which fades to become a viewscreen.]
About one week ago, a fascinating robbery took place on the planet Bydon.
I say "fascinating" due to the manner in which it was accomplished. What
you're about to see is the A/V record pulled from the body of a security
guard from Kuan Yin's research facility. Let me fast-forward past the
boring part.
[The image on the screen moves rapidly until the security guard
has joined others, gun at the ready.]
At this point, the guard is about to engage a group of armed subjects who
are fighting their way out of the facility.
DARRYN
How did they get in?
AYOOB
We have no idea, nor do we have any idea why they wouldn't just use whatever
method it was to get back out.
[On screen, an armed transport turns the corner and heads for the
panicked guards. Rapid fire from guns mounted on the car, as well
as from rifles held by three of the four people riding it, cuts the
guards down.]
And he's dead.
DAPHNE
They got an armed transport inside the facility without anyone noticing?
AYOOB
Amazing, isn't it? The transport isn't anything Kuan Yin makes, either,
and it isn't used by their security, so I can safely say that they didn't
steal it there. They made it safely outside, where they were picked up by a
shuttle. Before anyone could give chase, a nuclear-level explosion occurred
inside the facility, levelling it as well as much of the city. In the
confusion that followed, the shuttle escaped. Now here's what we're worried
about...
[Ayoob "rewinds" to the point at which the transport passed the
guard, and freeze frames.]
Luckily for us, the guard got a good look as the bad guys went by. I
don't think the leader expected anything to survive the explosion. It
was a miracle this did. First, let me show you the logo on the transport.
Yuri and Kei should recognize it.
[The picture zooms in on the logo, a yellow smiley face.]
KEI & YURI
Lord Robin.
AYOOB
Exactly. That's one of his. Now, let's take a close look at the lady
leading the expedition.
[The picture zooms on a female who seems to be in command. The
picture is blurry, but recognizable. The Angels and 'Riders are
startled; Kei leaps to her feet.]
RUMIKO
Holy shit, that's SHASTI!
KEI
But--but she's DEAD! (oomf)
[Kei slaps a hand over her mouth. Yuri looks fidgety.]
AYOOB
Dead? What in the world gave you that idea?
[Yuri grabs Kei by the shoulders and forces her back into her seat.]
YURI
Oh, heh, heh, don't listen to Kei! Her hangover's preventing her from
thinking straight.
[Ayoob stares at the Lovely Angels. Kei and Yuri return with sheepish
grins.]
AYOOB
[to himself:] They're not mine anymore, they're Goulet's. Let him deal
with it.
[Nene raises her hand.]
NENE
Um, sir? Who's Shasti?
AYOOB
Shasti is the 3WA's dirty little secret.
YURI [to Kei]
That's funny, I thought we were!
[Kei and Yuri get the giggles. Ayoob ignores them and presses on.]
AYOOB
Shasti is a bioroid, an artificial human being created in our genetic
engineering laboratories. She was designed to be the ultimate trouble
consultant, a superhuman fighting and thinking machine. But something went
wrong. During a mission, she turned on her partners and went rogue. We've
been searching for her ever since.
DAPHNE
[to Yuri:]
Hey, I know about her! She's the one who shot you, isn't she, Yuri?
YURI
Yeah, Kei and I were there when it happened.
AYOOB
Nearly everyone here has had experience with Shasti. Both the Lovely
Angels and NightRiders have served as her partners in the past. We
included the Lonely Hearts when it was pointed out that a taskforce made
up solely of individuals whom she knows could play into her hands; she
could be able to predict everyone's actions. Also, Nene's computer
ability and Daphne's cyber-eye may prove handy.
[Darryn motions to the man who walked in with Ayoob, still sitting
quietly off to the side.]
DARRYN
Does the gentleman over there have experience with Shasti?
KEI
Yeah, what's with him? He hasn't said a word since he showed up.
[The man starts.]
ANDREW
Oh. I, was just...waiting to be introduced. I'm Andrew Fisher.
RUMIKO
And what do you know about Shasti?
ANDREW
More than most people, I think.
=============================================================================
A.D. 213502.01, 15:30:00
Andrew Fisher checked his watch for the third time in as many minutes.
It was unlike him to be so impatient, but then, it was unlike him to set
foot inside a 3WA training facility. He had heard stories of the things
they did to their recruits, the bio-upgrades and hardware implantations, and
it had always unnerved him.
His internal voices continued to nag at him, telling him he was making
a mistake, reminding him how much he hated the thought of government work,
especially after that nasty incident in college. But the simple fact was,
he needed the money. Setting up a private practice in Elenore had been an
exercise in futility. He had thought that the city, being the headquarters
of the Worlds Welfare Work Association, would be chock-full of stressed-out
people requiring his services. Instead the mental health of the average
citizen here was so good, it was disgusting. In retrospect, he thought, it
would stand to reason that people living in such a potentially dangerous
place would have to be a hardy lot. Locating here had been a mistake, and
after a year of trying to make a go of it, he lacked the money to relocate.
Then the 3WA had called him and offered him the job of a lifetime, with
a salary so huge, his head swam just from thinking about it. He was to
monitor the mental development of a "special child". Andrew had asked for
details, but was given none. He was told to report to the Elenore Training
Facility if he was interested. After an hour of self-debate, he decided he
was.
The waiting lobby was behind him, but Andrew was far too nervous to sit
down. Instead, he stood at a railing, watching recruits take target
practice at a shooting range two levels below. He had taught himself to
recognize genetic upgrades by facial features and body shapes. To pass the
time, he began ticking off the upgrade type of each of the recruits.
"Definitely a LaChance upgrade there... an Osic... hmm, that one's a
Yamashita, I wonder if they know. Another LaChance..."
Andrew paused, stumped. The young female recruit had nothing out of
the ordinary about her, besides being cute as a button. Her straight blonde
hair was cropped to several centimeters above her collar, and her wide, old-
style, glass optical lenses made her look absolutely adorable. The glasses
were *really* strange, Andrew thought. Surely the 3WA wouldn't recruit
anyone incapable of accepting an eye graft. He became conscious of his own
glasses and adjusted them.
The girl seemed to be having problems with a shooting exercise, and
she sighed in frustration. A trainer, an older woman with a computing
device attached to the back of her neck via both her interface sockets,
walked over to the girl. "What's the problem, Deirdre?"
"It's my wetware, y'know?" the girl whined. "I go through, like, such
a rotten time having them stick all that weird junk in my head, and now, I
can't, like, turn it on or anything."
"What do you need it for? Your wetware isn't designed for marksmanship."
"Well, I thought it might, like, clear my skull, y'know? Make me aim
better?"
The trainer raised an eyebrow. "You know, you could have a point
there... Okay. I think the problem is that you're fighting it."
Andrew backed away from the railing. "She's an Intel," he said, his
voice a mixture of wonder and revulsion.
"Very good!" came a voice from behind him. Andrew whirled and found
himself facing a bald man with his right eye replaced by a camera device.
Before he could recover from the shock, the man continued. "Sorry, didn't
mean to startle you. I'm Director Ayoob." He offered his hand, which
Andrew shook. "I thought you were a psychologist, not a bioengineer."
"Identifying genetic upgrades by body structure is just a hobby of
mine," Andrew replied, "a cynical hobby to be precise. I'm actually pretty
disgusted with the way humanity has been taking to restructuring its own
essence. No offense intended," he added quickly. "I understand the 3WA
depends heavily on this technology."
"Your profession profits as well," Ayoob said with a small smile.
"Each new advancement in brainware creates new problems for psychologists to
research and treat."
"That's like saying a doctor should jump for joy each time a new
terminal illness is discovered."
Ayoob coughed nervously. "I'm sorry. I didn't mean it that way. Look,
this conversation has really gotten off on the wrong foot. Why don't we go
see your patient?"
"I'd love to."
Ayoob lead Andrew through the facility until they arrived at a door
marked "OBSERVATION ROOM 15-C". Ayoob worked a code pad and let Andrew in.
"You'll have to pardon the darkness. The large window is actually a one-way
mirror."
Andrew stepped up to the window and took a look.
"I'd like you to meet Shasti."
On the other side of the window was a large preschool play area. On
the soft blue rug were scattered numerous toys, curiously oversized. Andrew
looked in vain for the child. Then he noticed that the shapely, dark-haired
woman, whom he had taken for a nurse, was playing with the toys. She was
apparently dressed only in a long hospital gown and underwear.
"You don't mean her?"
Ayoob nodded.
"I thought you told me I'd be dealing with a child."
"She is a child."
"You mean mentally?" Andrew shook his head. "I'm sorry, but mental
illness of this degree isn't my specialty. You'd be better off with someone
else."
Ayoob smiled. "Shasti's a very special girl. We gave a lot of
consideration to choosing someone to assist in her development, and we
decided on you. Besides, I think she's doing pretty well for someone who's
only three days old."
Andrew blinked, speechless.
"Come, I'll introduce you."
Ayoob opened a door and led Andrew into the play area. Shasti looked
up from her play. As soon as she saw the stranger, she hid behind a large
teddy bear. Ayoob called to her. "Shasti? I've brought someone who would
like to be friends with you. Come out and say hi."
Shasti peeked out from where she was kneeling behind the doll. "Hi."
Well, this is it, thought Andrew. Time to make a good first
impression. He crouched down to her level. "Well, hi!" he said, as
cheerfully as possible. "Is your name Shasti?"
Shasti nodded.
"That's a very pretty name. My name's Andrew, but you can call me
Andy."
Shasti got up her nerve and replied. "You gonna be my friend, Andy?"
"I would like very much to be your friend."
=============================================================================
ANDREW
We were friends for a while. Basically, I just took notes as she..."grew
up".
AYOOB
The eight of you will be going up against Shasti and her forces. We
don't know their number, or what type of weaponry they have, other than
what we've seen already. However, if they have access to Lord Robin's
weaponry, then we should be prepared for anything. We haven't ruled out
the possibility of their possessing a ship with the half-warp drive. We
do know they're still on Bydon. Security is extra-tight on that planet:
no ships are being allowed to leave the atmosphere, not even our own. If
there is a half-warp "phantom ship" in orbit, they can't rendezvous with
it.
[Nene is counting everyone in the room. Kei has started to lazily toss
the software plug into the air and catch it.]
NENE
Um, sir? You said eight of us? I only count seven.
[Ayoob slaps his head.]
AYOOB
Damn, almost forgot. You'll also be working with Shasti's old partner,
Deirdre.
KEI
Now, I *know* she's dead. I saw the body.
AYOOB
You're right. However, we were able to transfer her mind and memories
onto a chip before brain death occurred. You're holding her.
[Kei is puzzled for a second, then realizes he's talking about the plug
she's tossing around. She yelps and bobbles the next catch.]
KEI
YAAH!
[Kei catches it and holds on.]
I'm so sorry, Deirdre. I didn't know, honest!
YURI
Oh, for crying out loud, Kei, it's not like she can hear you!
KEI
Well, it's spooky! Deirdre's dead and she comes back to life as a plug!
AYOOB
Why don't you try her out? She's already been briefed, but I'm sure
she'd like to say hello to the team.
[Kei looks uneasy about the idea, but gives in.]
KEI
Well, okay, but she's not staying there. One mind in my body is enough.
[Kei swallows and places the plug into the interface socket behind
her right ear. She blinks.]
DEIRDRE (KEI)
Like, hi, guys! Where are we? Is everyone here?
AYOOB
I was just briefing the team, Deirdre. We're all here.
RUMIKO
Deirdre?
DEIRDRE (KEI)
Rumiko! Wow, it's you!
RUMIKO
God, I missed you! Why'd you have to go and get killed on me like that?
[Rumiko gives her a great big hug.]
KEI
Hey. Knock it off.
RUMIKO
Kei?
AYOOB
The plug is passive. Deirdre shares her host rather than taking it over.
RUMIKO
Uh, sorry, Kei.
KEI
Well, that's that.
[Kei moves to take the plug out.]
DEIRDRE (KEI)
Wait! Let me stay, please! I'll stay in the background, I won't cause
problems, honest!
KEI
Oh, alright, but once this meeting is over, we're choosing another host.
DARRYN
I hate to sound impatient, but I'd like to get on with the mission
directives.
AYOOB
Indeed. The objective is fairly simple: you are to engage Shasti and
retrieve her. This may help.
[He opens the case, revealing a short rifle, and another software
plug. He removes the plug.]
This is a tranquilizing plug. This is the only means known to put Shasti
under for a predictable length of time. It needs to be delivered into
one of Shasti's interface sockets. That can be done with the use of this
air-rifle. The interface socket is a very small target, so you, Daphne,
and you, Rumiko, will be implanted with a SharpShot program to enhance
your aim. You should find your cybernetic eye particularly suited to the
software, Daphne.
DARRYN
I'm still not certain that six trouble consultants are needed for this
job. Wouldn't it be better to keep it at two? You'd have better
possiblilities for stealth that way.
AYOOB
We have a lot of faith in the ability of our creation. Shasti is almost
certainly up to something, we don't know what, but it's probably deadly.
The team will be setting down in the middle of whatever she's planning.
The six TC's are needed to cover every possibility. Even then, I fully
expect this mission to be messy. I want you all to understand this: we'd
prefer her alive, but if you need to kill her, don't hesitate. This
woman has already killed one TC and nearly killed two others.
[Andrew stands up.]
ANDREW
What do you mean, "don't hesitate to kill her"?!
AYOOB
Mr. Fisher--
ANDREW [furious]
The only reason I agreed to help you bastards is because you promised me
she wouldn't be hurt! You lied to me! God, I should've known better
than to trust you people! DAMN YOU ALL TO HELL!!
[Andrew storms out of the room, leaving it in stunned silence.]
KEI
Well, working with him should be a blast...
--- END STAGE ONE ---
NEXT >>> "Great. Just great. Now the entire stinking planet will know
who's coming."
Comments? Larry and Ryan would love to read 'em!
Larry (original idea, plot, formatting, and illustrations)
is at "lrmann@uci.edu"
Ryan (plot, script)
is at "mathews1@ix.netcom.com"
--
"Again and again the laws of | Larry Mann a.k.a. R-Type
nature prove laws aren't enough." | <lrmann@uci.edu>
- Thomas Dolby | Writer/Illustrator for hire
[ILLUSTRATION AVAILABLE]
-------------------------------------------------------------------------
The Dirty Pair (and Company)
in
R E U N I O N S
by
Larry Mann and Ryan Mathews
------------------------------------------------------------------------
"We find her, we kick her butt!"
-- Kei, Planet Rocinante, A.D. 2141
-----------------
S T A G E T W O
-----------------
A.D. 214303.18; 16:58:20
WWWA Central Headquarters, Tarmac A-9
[Scene: The _Lovely Angel_ and the _Lonely Heart_, two similar but
not identical craft, sit side-by-side. Andrew leans against the
landing gear of the _Angel_, lost in thought. The Lonely Hearts,
Nene and Daphne, wait for the rest of the taskforce to arrive.
Nene tries to open a bottle of soda, but as she pushes a button on
the side of the cap, nothing happens.]
NENE [whines]
Aww. The cap is broken. It's not gonna come off!
DAPHNE
Really? Walk out that way, towards the hangars.
NENE
Why?
[Daphne smiles.]
DAPHNE
Trust me!
NENE
Wellllll, oooookay. But I think it'd be a lot easier to get an
opener from the ship.
[Nene walks about 35 meters away from Daphne.]
DAPHNE
Stop!
[Nene stops.]
Now turn around and hold the bottle out.
NENE
Okay, but I still don't get it.
[Daphne sights in with her cybereye. Her view of the of bottle
zooms until the bottle cap is clearly defined. The cap is outlined
in red with the legend "TARGET ACQUIRED". Daphne pulls out her gun
and fires in a single motion, shooting off the cap.]
NENE
YAAAAAAHH!!!
[She drops the bottle, spilling the drink on the tarmac.]
DAPHNE
Isn't that cool! The SharpShot program works!
NENE
You made me spill my drink!
[The Lovely Angels and NightRiders arrive in an aircar.]
KEI
You guys taking target practice at each other?
DAPHNE [cheerfully]
'Bout time you guys got here.
[Cut to inside the _Lovely Angel_, where the taskforce convenes.]
NENE
Wow. So this is the Lovely Angel. I've heard so much about this
ship. Is it true what they say about how fast it is?
RUMIKO
Yeah, but not as fast as my _Intruder_! Now that's a ship!
KEI [sarcastically]
Really? I thought it was back at the repair center, impersonating
a swiss cheese. I heard it wasn't able to outrun a lousy three
pirate ships.
RUMIKO
For your information, Kei, we blew those pirates into space dust!!
I'd like to see you do any better!
KEI
Are you kidding? I'd put the _Angel_ against the _Intruder_ any
day!
RUMIKO
Then let's do it! After this is over and our ship is out of the
shop!
KEI
You're on!
DARRYN
[clears his throat]
I'm sure it'll be very exciting, but could we get on to more
immediate matters? Like where Rumiko and I are going to sleep?
KEI
We have a small guest room with one bed. That should be plenty, eh?
[She winks at the 'Riders.]
RUMIKO [angry]
Kei!
KEI [innocently]
What?
YURI
Darryn and Rumiko being an item isn't common knowledge, Kei.
DARRYN
TC's aren't supposed to get involved with their partners. It could
be bad for our careers if anyone found out.
DAPHNE
Hey, don't worry about it! Your secret's safe with us!
NENE
Hmph. I don't see what the problem is, myself. I mean, Daphne and
I have been lovers for years and no one's ever complained.
[Everyone is speechless. Daphne blushes beet red.]
Well, I suppose us Lonely Hearts should get back to our ship. See
ya later!
[Nene smiles, waves, and heads out the hatch.]
DAPHNE
Uh, heh, heh. Listen, I--
KEI
Hey, no problem!
YURI
It's the 22nd century, after all!
DARRYN
We were just surprised that she was so, you know, forward about who
she was sleeping with.
DAPHNE
That's Nene, alright. I guess that one of the things I love about
her.
[She pauses.]
Look, Nene's right, we have some things to take care of before we
take off. Signal us if you need anything, 'kay?
[She leaves as everyone says goodbye.]
YURI
Wait a minute. If Darryn and Rumiko are staying on the Angel, then I
guess it would make sense for Andrew to stay in the Heart's guest room.
Wish I'd thought of that before Daphne left.
KEI
Where is he, anyway?
[Andrew is in a small observation room, looking miserably out the
window. He toys with a small wristlet, made of braided and knotted
colored string. As he looks at it, his mind drifts back...)
=============================================================================
A.D. 213502.14; 12:35:54
WWWA Central Headquarters, Sciences Wing, Observation Room #10-K
"This is boring," pouted Shasti. "Let's play a game."
"We can play a game when we're done," Andrew replied. "Now, are you
ready?"
"Ready!" Shasti chimed, smiling.
Andrew displayed the next in what had been a long series of flashcards.
A mathematical problem was on the front, "2856 X 4961". No sooner did Shasti
see it than she had the answer.
"Fourteen million, one hundred sixty-eight thousand, six hundred
sixteen."
Once again, Andrew had to check the back of the card, although he was
beginning to wonder if he should bother. "Wow. Right again."
Shasti squealed with delight. "Yay! That's twenty in a row!"
"You're a really smart girl, Shasti," Andrew said.
Shasti looked startled by the compliment. "Oh! You really think so,
Andy?"
Andy knew so. Her IQ was so high, the standard tests had failed to
provide a measurement. The staff was currently scrambling to invent new
tests. Still, encouragement never hurt. "I couldn't have done those problems
in my head," he said. "How does it feel when you do them?"
"Great! I like being smart! Now can we play a game, pleeeeease?"
Shasti leaned over the table and beamed her most engaging smile at him.
Andrew couldn't help but smile back.
He wondered if Shasti understood the power she had over him. He was just
beginning to understand himself, and he'd been working with her for what
seemed like years. Actually it had been only months, but thanks to her
radical brain design, and with the help of periodic synaptic booster sessions,
her personality had matured five years. The woman playing with toys in the
playroom had been "four". The woman sitting across from him was now "nine".
Once she had gotten used to him, Shasti had taken a real liking to
Andrew. She also had learned fairly quickly how to get what she wanted out of
him. Just the right smile or giggle could get a game played rather than a
test performed, or maybe even a promise to buy her a new toy. At first,
Andrew had thought it standard behavior for a child of her mental age, but as
she matured mentally, she had become extremely adept at the manipulation, so
much so that Andrew was often unaware that she was doing it.
He had become concerned and had taken the matter to Director Ayoob.
Ayoob had expressed fears that one of Shasti's functions might be activating
prematurely, and had promised to look into the situation, but had refused to
give Andrew any further information.
The next day, Shasti had nearly charmed him into subsituting another test
for one she found boring, when he'd snapped at her, telling her to "cut it
out". Shasti apologized politely and performed the test.
Later, Andrew watched through the two-way mirror as Shasti cried
herself to sleep, sobbing quietly so as not to be heard outside her room.
Andrew's heart melted like butter in the sun. The next day, he brought her a
pint of ice cream and a new dress.
Since then, Shasti's attempts at manipulation had become much more
obvious, as if she wanted to let Andrew know what exactly she was doing, that
she wasn't trying to trick him. Nonetheless, she was still very good at it.
"Sure," said Andrew.
"Yeah!" exclaimed Shasti, jumping up from her seat. "I'll go get the
chess board!"
"Naw, you always beat me at chess. Let's play a card game. At least
then there's an element of chance."
Shasti winked at him. "Betcha I still beat you!"
Andrew couldn't help but laugh. "I'll bet you're right!"
Shasti suddenly fell silent, staring at Andrew for several seconds.
Finally, she spoke. "You're cool, Andy."
"Really, now?" he asked, cocking his head. "What makes me cool?"
"You talk to me," she replied. "You're the only one who really talks to
me. Well, I mean, the others talk to me, too, but they're not really
interested, you know? They just say 'Hello, Shasti, how are you feeling
today? That's nice. Now hold out your arm so I can stick some needles in
it.'"
Andrew's heart went out to her. "Does it bother you? I can talk to
Director Ayoob--"
"Naah," Shasti said, cutting him off. "I'm too tough for that."
"I'd just hate to think you were lonely."
Shasti's beautiful eyes welled up with tears. "Oh, Andy..." She walked
around to his side of the table. "I'll never be lonely as long as I have
you." She hugged him.
When she felt him tense, she released him. "I'm embarrassing you, aren't
I?" she asked. She pointed at her breasts. "It has something to do with
these things, doesn't it? Other girls my age don't have them. I can't figure
it out. Why is my body different?"
Andrew placed a gentle hand on her shoulder. "Some things will take time
to explain, Shasti. But I promise I'll be here to help you learn. And I
promise not to be embarassed the next time you hug me."
Shasti waited a moment, then flashed him a big grin. "I've got something
for you!" She fished in her pocket and pulled out a braided wristlet. "It's
a friendship bracelet. I read in a book how to make them yesterday. See?"
She held up her left arm. "I'm wearing one just like it. Now we're official
friends!"
Andrew put his on. "I promise never to take it off."
=============================================================================
[Back in the present, Andrew speaks to the empty air:]
ANDREW
Promises, promises. Shasti, what am I going to do? I took this job
because I needed so badly to see you again. But now... Now the very
idea terrifies me.
- - -
A.D. 214303.19; 18:15:00
Planet Bydon, City of Ekana
[Scene: a small apartment. A scruffy-looking man looks nervously
out the window. Shasti, inside, speaks to him, annoyed.]
SHASTI
Nance, will you please get inside already? The last thing we need
is for someone out there to ID you.
NANCE
Have you seen what it's like out there? The sky is crawling with
police cruisers. Man, you told me there would be heat, but I didn't
think it would be this bad.
SHASTI
Nance, darling, we blew a large chunk of their capital city off
the map. Whatever did you expect?
NANCE
I'm just not used to this much heat, man. I mean, it's the whole
planet we're talking about. There's nowhere to run to. Paul knows
what he's doing, right? There's no way to communicate with him.
[Shasti strolls up behind him and begins gently to massage his neck.]
SHASTI
Relax, Nance. Everything's going to be fine. You can trust Paul.
He'll be here on schedule, we'll pull this caper off, and before you
know it, we'll all be rich beyond the dreams of avarice. Now...
[She moves closer, speaking softly into his ear.]
Why don't you come inside and I'll help you unwind?
[Nance angrily pushes her away.]
NANCE
Don't start that crap with me! I know how you operate, Shasti!
You use your wit and your charm and your sex appeal to win a man's
confidence, and when he's no longer of any use to you--!
[He draws a finger across his throat. As Shasti watches, her
face begins to flush with anger.]
Well, just because I work with you, doesn't mean I have to trust you!
I'm in this for my share of the money, and once I get it, I'm getting
as far away from you and your back-stabbing friends as I can!
SHASTI [simmering]
Very well. We can work on those terms just as easily.
[She grabs him by the throat and lifts him into the air,
gagging and choking.]
Listen to me, you pathetic maggot. If you want to take your share
and run, that's your perogative. But until then, I am your commander!
You will treat me with respect, and you will do as I say! Or I just
may have to dispose of you *early*! Understood?!
[Nance is turning blue.]
Good! You can start by getting your ass INSIDE!
[She throws him across the room, bouncing him off the far wall.
He slumps to the ground, barely conscious.]
Now just lie there and relax, dear.
- - -
A.D. 214303.20; 05:35:00
[Scene: _Lovely Angel_, approaching Bydon orbit. Yuri and Mughi
are on the bridge as Kei arrives, yawning.]
KEI
G'morning, Yuri. How long have you been up?
YURI
Not long. Truth is, I couldn't sleep very well. I kept thinking
about how, when we last left Shasti, we'd dumped her into hard
vacuum, and now here she is.
[Kei drops into the co-pilot's seat next to Yuri and stretches.]
KEI
Yup, they really built her.
YURI
I'm beginning to wonder if there's anything that can take her down.
KEI
Sure, a bullet in the head.
YURI
That's assuming you can hit her. We didn't have much luck last time.
RUMIKO
Mornin' girls!
[The Angels turn around to say good morning, and notice that
Rumiko's topless.]
KEI
Um, dontcha think you should put some clothes on?
RUMIKO
Why? Who's around that cares? It's so warm on this ship.
[Darryn arrives, wearing just as little, and gives Rumiko a quick kiss.]
DARRYN
Good morning, ladies. Ready to begin the mission?
YURI
Geez, they oughta call you guys the NudeRiders...
KEI
Heads up, guys, here comes our welcoming party.
[Five heavily armed vessels surround the two 3WA ships. After a
brief moment, a message is sent.]
COMM
WWWA vessels _Lovely_Angel_ and _Lonely_Heart_, you are cleared to land.
Stand by to receive approach vector and landing coordinates.
[The two ships pass through the security cordon and head toward
the atmosphere. As they descend:]
YURI
Guys, I don't like the looks of this. I assumed they would want to keep our
arrival quiet, but there's an enormous crowd waiting at those coordinates.
KEI
A trap?
RUMIKO
Naah, that doesn't make any sense.
[The comm comes to life with Daphne's face, looking sheepish.]
DAPHNE
I'm really sorry about this, guys. If I'd have known they would make such a
fuss, I wouldn't have asked for this mission.
DARRYN
Fuss? About what?
DAPHNE
Back when I was in the Econ Corps, I saved this planet from bankruptcy. They
now have one of the most thriving economies in this sector, and I guess I'm
kinda a hero. Someone leaked that I was coming, and now they want to hold
some big gala in my honor. They just told me now. I tried to decline, but I
don't think they understood.
KEI
Great. Just great. Now the entire stinking planet will know who's coming.
DARRYN
There's nothing to be done for it, unfortunately. We'll just have to grit
our teeth and walk through it all.
[Cut to a 3V broadcast, showing the _Angel_ and the _Heart_ at the
spaceport.]
REPORTER
Again, the hatches to the two ships have just opened. We're waiting to get a
peek at who could be inside. AND THERE SHE IS!
[Picture zooms up to a self-conscious Daphne disembarking.
Behind her, a gleeful Nene waves to the crowd.]
Let's go to Corena Simpson, who is standing near the ships!
SIMPSON
Miss Daphne, may I have a word with you?!
DAPHNE
Uh, s-sure...
SIMPSON
How does it feel to return to the planet you saved from the brink
of disaster?
DAPHNE
Uh, really nice. I like this place.
SIMPSON
The Bydon Conservative Party wants to run you for president. Have
you considered their offer?
DAPHNE
Huh? N-no, I couldn't--
SIMPSON
What about the five major banks that have offered you presidencies?
DAPHNE
Er, I'm flattered, of course. But, there's really no way, I
couldn't... You'll have to excuse me.
[Daphne runs off. Shouts are heard: "Daphne, please stay!"
"Marry me, Daphne!"]
SIMPSON
Well, there you have it! A humble response from the brilliant woman
who was the savior of our way of life. Only time will tell if she'll--
[At that moment the mood of the crowd changes, from jubilant
cheers to horrified gasps and shrieks. The reporter looks
and goes pale.]
OH MY GOD!! It can't be!
[The shot zooms in on the group disembarking the Lovely Angel.]
It's...it's the D-D-DIRTY P-PAIR! God help us...
[Cut to the Lovely Angels and NightRiders.]
KEI
Dammit, I was hoping sending out Daphne first would distract them.
RUMIKO
You mean you have to go through this kind of shit all the time?
[Cut to Shasti's apartment. Shasti lounges on the floor in a
T-shirt and shorts, no shoes, while watching the broadcast.]
SHASTI [laughing]
Oh, you girls. You haven't changed a bit. It's hard to stay mad
at you when I see the kind of crap you have to put up with. Not
that you don't deserve it.
[Shasti ID's everyone as they appear.]
Let's see, the Lovely Angels, my old friends the NightRiders...
Don't recognize the other two, but this "Daphne" must have been in
the Econ Corps. Transfers from the Econ Corps to the Trouble
Consultant Corps aren't that common. Shouldn't be hard to look
her up...
[Her voice trails off as Andrew appears on the screen.]
That's... That's...
[She turns off the 3V and thinks.]
--- END STAGE TWO ---
NEXT >>> "I'm going to count down from five. Then I'm going to kill you."
------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Comments? Larry and Ryan would love to read 'em!
Larry (original idea, plot, formatting, and illustrations)
is at "lrmann@uci.edu"
Ryan (plot, script)
is at "mathews1@ix.netcom.com"
--
"Again and again the laws of | Larry Mann a.k.a. R-Type
nature prove laws aren't enough." | <lrmann@uci.edu>
- Thomas Dolby | Writer/Illustrator for hire
[ILLUSTRATION AVAILABLE]
------------------------------------------------------------------------
The Dirty Pair (and Company)
in
R E U N I O N S
by
Larry Mann and Ryan Mathews
------------------------------------------------------------------------
"Versatility is an essential component in the successful
execution of any mission. The agent must be capable of
a high level of adaptability and have the capacity to
improvise quickly and effectively to suit any situation
presented for analysis."
-- from the Proposal for the
101-E Project*
[ *Paraphrased from the standard WWWA Criminal Trouble Consultant
Training Manual, Version 2.2.1. Public access version downloadable
from amber.meizuri.wwwa. (Anon FTP: 145.300.20.5, /pub/docs) ]
---------------------
S T A G E T H R E E
---------------------
A.D. 214303.20; 21:49:23
Planet Bydon, City of Ekana
[Scene: The city of Ekana, nighttime. It is pouring rain. Cut to
the outside entrance to a second-story apartment, as a pretty,
dark-haired young lady in big round glasses, a summer dress and
matching hat, all soaking wet, knocks on the door. An older woman
inside opens it.]
OLDER WOMAN
Yes?
YOUNG LADY
Ma'am? Can I please use your phone? My car broke down, I don't
know my way around, and it's dark, and--
OLDER WOMAN
Oh, goodness, look at you! You're soaked to the bone! Come in,
come in!
YOUNG LADY
Thank you, ma'am, thank you so much!
[Cut to inside as the girl walks in.]
I'm so sorry to impose.
OLDER WOMAN
That's perfectly alright. You just sit down and let me get you a towel.
[As she walks off:]
Where are you from?
YOUNG LADY
Brightonville. I was supposed to fly up, but my flight got cancelled
due to this terrorist scare.
[The woman returns with the towel.]
OLDER WOMAN
Here you go. Brightonville? That's a long way from here. What
brings you to Ekana?
YOUNG LADY
I'm starting classes at the University.
OLDER WOMAN
Really? What are you planning to major in?
YOUNG LADY
Hyperspatial physics! I've heard they have a great program.
OLDER WOMAN
You don't say! My husband is a professor at the University, and
he teaches hyperspatial physics!
YOUNG LADY [excited]
No way! Could I meet him?!
OLDER WOMAN
I'm sure he'd love to meet you! HENRY!
VOICE
What is it?!
OLDER WOMAN
There's a future student of yours here who'd like to meet you!
[A balding old man comes into the room.]
PROFESSOR
Well, well! I'm always glad to introduce myself to the new class.
I'm Professor Jacobs, and you are...?
YOUNG LADY
Sandy! Sandy Wilson!
[They shake hands.]
PROFESSOR
So, is there anything in particular that drew you to my field of
study?
YOUNG LADY
Yes. Half-warp.
[The Professor pales.]
PROFESSOR
H... h-half... warp?
YOUNG LADY
Yes. I'd like to know everything you know about half-warp.
PROFESSOR [nervously]
I... I've never really heard the term before. Look, I'd really
better get back to my work...
[The young lady gets up, taking off her glasses and giving her hair
a toss. She's Shasti, of course.]
SHASTI [menacing]
Oh, please don't leave just yet. There's *so* much you can tell me.
PROFESSOR
Doris, I believe you should show this young lady the door.
DORIS (OLDER WOMAN)
But, but it's raining...
PROFESSOR
Doris!
DORIS
You'd better go dear. When Henry gets like this--
[The instant Doris touches Shasti's arm, Shasti grabs Doris' arm
and snaps it in two. Doris screams in pain and drops to her knees.
Shasti grabs her around the neck, produces a knife and holds it at
her throat.]
SHASTI
Tell me, Professor, do you love your wife?
PROFESSOR
Oh, Jesus, I beg you, please don't hurt her--
SHASTI
Half-warp, professor.
PROFESSOR
I'll tell you! I'll tell you everything! Just don't hurt her!
SHASTI
That's more like it.
[Shasti pushes Doris onto a coffee table and arranges the
woman's hands on top of one another.]
DORIS
W-what are you doing?
SHASTI
Now, you stay put!
[Shasti jams the knife through both hands, nailing her to
the table. Doris screams again.]
PROFESSOR
Sweet Jesus...!
[Shasti walks right up to the Professor, face-to-face.]
I'll tell you everything, I swear!
SHASTI
Oh, I know you will.
[Shasti pulls a cable from her pocket and plugs one end into
the socket behind her left ear.]
I'm sure of it.
[She grabs the Professor by the neck and plugs the other end
into him. He screams.]
- - -
[Cut to a hotel's front desk. The clerk looks at a holo of Shasti,
while a pair of wet Lovely Angels look on hopefully.]
CLERK
Nope. Sorry, never seen her.
KEI
Drat. Well, thanks anyway.
[The Angels leave the hotel, opening their umbrellas before heading
into the rain.]
KEI
How many more to go?
YURI
About twenty, I think.
KEI
Aw, man. This really sucks. You do understand that this is
pointless? Shasti would never let herself be caught this easily.
YURI
You know what Darryn said. We're not trying to catch her right now,
just flush her out. And besides, the hotels are real close together.
KEI
I wonder how the others are doing.
YURI
Why don't you check in and find out?
KEI
Good idea.
- - -
[Scene: a comfortable office on an upper floor of a skyscraper. Nene
works, jacked in via her interface sockets, at what appears to be a hastily
assembled system of computer terminals and monitors: the cords lie all
over the floor like spaghetti. Daphne watches over Nene's shoulder while
she works. Andrew admires the view from the window. Rumiko has passed out
on a couch. Daphne's com-earring beeps.]
DAPHNE
Daphne here.
KEI (VOICE)
This is Kei. Just thought I'd see how things are going.
DAPHNE
Pretty good. The planetary government loaned us an incredible setup. I
guess their unconditional love for me has its advantages. We have access
to just about everything.
NENE
And what we don't have access to, I can hack into! Hee hee!
KEI (VOICE)
Yuri and I have about twenty more hotels on our list. Let us know when you
find anything, okay?
DAPHNE
Will do! Daphne out.
[Rumiko yawns, stretches, and wakes up.]
RUMIKO
Mmf. I miss anything?
DAPHNE
Hey, there! Welcome back to the land of the living. What, didn't you sleep
much last night?
RUMIKO
That, and space lag. Where's Darryn?
NENE
He left without you. Said he didn't want to wake you up.
RUMIKO
That sweet little dope...
ANDREW
I feel so worthless here. Isn't there something I can help with?
DAPHNE
Nope, not until we get Shasti on the move. Just sit tight until then.
NENE
OOH! Neat! I got some stuff back from my Kuan Yin hack!
RUMIKO
You hacked into their database? Isn't that rude? I mean, they are one of
our best clients.
DAPHNE
It was sorta my idea. Kuan Yin was one of the least cooperative companies
when I was fixing the economy here. I figured they could be hiding something
about that research center that got blown up.
RUMIKO
"JONIN Brainware Package". Looks nasty. Some kind of martial-arts
enhancement program?
NENE
Looks like it was still in development when the place went kablooie. Wow.
Says here the guys testing it could shatter metal with a touch, walk on
water, deflect bullets, liquify rock...
RUMIKO
They've gotta be kidding. I mean, stuff like that's impossible, right?
DAPHNE
Sounds like a combination of martial-arts and psionics. Like the legendary
masters of ancient Earth-Asia. They were supposed to be able to kill you
just by touching you.
RUMIKO
Yeah, but that was all myths.
NENE
It also says nobody survived longer than five minutes with the device
activated.
DAPHNE
Still, even if it doesn't work, something like this would be worth a lot of
money to the right buyer. At the very least someone could adapt it into a
deadly program for a android.
RUMIKO
Then that's it. That must be what Shasti was after.
[The terminal beeps.]
NENE
Got something else. I've been running a scan on all resources for anything
related to half-warp, then having Bydon's main neural computer make
connections against all UG and local databases.
RUMIKO
That'd take years!
NENE
Well, normally, yeah, but I've been fiddling with this new algorithm.
Also, I probably got lucky. Let's see what this one is...
[She pulls up a new screen.]
Wow.
DAPHNE
What?
NENE
This is a list of all scientists known to have worked with Lord Robin.
They scattered after Kei and Yuri blew his fleet up. Most that have been
found since then have turned up dead, probably assassinated. But look here.
[She points to the screen.]
RUMIKO
News articles? Each about some person being found in a vegetative state?
NENE
Yup! 'Cuz someone scanned the guy's brain without asking. Each of these
guys matches the description of one of the scientists. And take a look at
this:
[She points to another item.]
Just two months after Lord Robin's fleet was destroyed, a person who looks
just like another one of his scientists started teaching hyperspatial physics
at Ekana University. Guy's name is Julius MacCombe.
DAPHNE
Gee, we'd better warn him. Gimme his address.
[Nene calls up the data while Daphne opens her com-link.]
This is Daphne. We need someone to head to 1612 Akinod Lane, Apartment 12-
B. There's a good chance Shasti's after a man at that address. His name is
Julius MacCombe, but he's going under the name Henry Jacobs.
[Cut to Darryn.]
DARRYN
I'm only two blocks away! I'm on it!
KEI (VOICE)
Yuri and I are on our way!
[Cut back to Rumiko.]
RUMIKO
I'll try calling the guy. Maybe this isn't as bad as it looks.
[Darryn arrives at the apartment, gun drawn, and knocks on the door.
There's no response. Darryn speaks into his wrist.]
DARRYN
This is Darryn. I'm at the apartment. I'm going in.
[The door opens, revealing Shasti in a black bodysuit.]
SHASTI
Why, Darryn! Isn't this a nice surprise!
[Darryn brings his gun up. Her arm a blur, Shasti rips it out
of his hand, causing him to wince in pain.]
Darryn, Darryn. And I thought we were such good friends! Remember
all the good times we had at the academy?
[Darryn says nothing.]
Please, come in.
[She gestures her welcome.]
[Cautiously, Darryn moves inside, making certain to face Shasti.
The Professor lies slumped against a wall, staring blankly into
space. Doris, still nailed to the coffee table, is dead, her
neck broken.]
DARRYN
You monster...
SHASTI
Tell me, Darryn. Are you still as good as you used to be?
DARRYN
What do you mean?
[Shasti levels the gun at him.]
SHASTI
I'm going to count down from five. Then I'm going to kill you.
[Darryn stares at her in disbelief.]
Five... Four...
[Darryn readies himself.]
Three... Two...
[Darryn yells and attacks. In one unbelievably fast motion,
Shasti drops the gun, blocks Darryn's thrust, and drives her
foot into his stomach. She then whirls and slams him to the
ground.]
You know, Darryn, I wasn't planning to do this until much later.
But seeing as how you're here, and how you're so perfect for the
job...
- - -
[Rumiko screams.]
RUMIKO
Oh my god! DARRYN!
DAPHNE
What is it?!
RUMIKO
He's engaged Shasti! It's our telepathic audio link! He just SCREAMED
over it!!
- - -
[Cut to Kei and Yuri, in a car. Kei is driving.]
DAPHNE (VOICE)
Kei! Yuri! We need you there NOW!
KEI
Understood!
[Kei floors it, dodging cars, and takes the wrong way up a one-way
street, arriving at the apartment. They run up the steps to the
second floor.]
YURI
You better put her in, Kei.
KEI
Yeah, I guess so.
[Kei pops in the Deirdre-plug.]
DEIRDRE (KEI)
Hi, guys! What's up!
YURI
We're in pursuit of Shasti!
[They reach the apartment and go in. Darryn is on the floor, pale.]
KEI
Darryn!
[She runs to him, but he waves her off.]
DARRYN
Just...missed her. Ran left. Go...
[The Pair bolt out the door and run down the balcony.]
YURI
There she is!
[Shasti is climbing up the fire escape. She pauses briefly, smiles
and waves.]
KEI
She's mine!
[Kei and Yuri reach the fire escape. Kei starts to climb up after
Shasti, then stops.]
DEIRDRE (KEI)
What are you doing?
KEI
I'm going after her!
[Kei moves forward again, then stops.]
Dammit, will you stop that!
DEIRDRE (KEI)
Shasti's walking into a dead end, Kei! She wouldn't do that unless
she had major backup!
YURI
She's right, Kei. She must have friends on the roof.
[An engine roars, and an aircar is seen flying away.]
KEI
Now we got 'em!
[She touches her earring.]
Daphne? We're looking for a black aircar--
[The aircar explodes. Several people fly safely away with
jet-packs, scrambling in all directions, losing themselves
between the buildings.]
Shit.
--- END STAGE THREE ---
NEXT >>> "Darryn's gone."
------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Comments? Larry and Ryan would love to read 'em!
Larry (original idea, plot, formatting, and illustrations)
is at "lrmann@uci.edu"
Ryan (plot, script)
is at "mathews1@ix.netcom.com"
--
"Again and again the laws of | Larry Mann a.k.a. R-Type
nature prove laws aren't enough." | <lrmann@uci.edu>
- Thomas Dolby | Writer/Illustrator for hire
[ILLUSTRATION AVAILABLE]
------------------------------------------------------------------------
The Dirty Pair (and Company)
in
R E U N I O N S
by
Larry Mann and Ryan Mathews
------------------------------------------------------------------------
When push comes to shove, I'll be pushin' you down.
Better think twice, when you take that step,
that you've got both feet on the ground.
Never use love; I don't wanna fight.
I won't get in your way; don't give me the right.
- RATT, "Never Use Love"
-------------------
S T A G E F O U R
-------------------
A.D. 214303.20; 23:56:12
Bydon Federal Management Agency Building, City of Ekana
[Scene: The taskforce's office. Darryn, still looking pale and weak,
rests on a couch, while Rumiko frets over him. Nene is still jacked into
her terminal. Kei is still wearing the Deirdre-plug. Everyone else is
sitting wherever space is available.]
YURI
I don't think so. If the JONIN package was what she was after, then why
the attack on Dr. Jacobs? It's obvious she wants the half-warp drive.
DAPHNE
But she had to have *some* reason for destroying the Kuan Yin facility,
right? I mean, she had to want *something* there.
DEIRDRE (KEI)
Like, maybe she was after both? Shasti never was the type to waste an
opportunity, y'know.
KEI
I'll tell you one thing that makes me feel better. If she's looking
for half-warp, that must mean she doesn't have it yet. Believe me, you
don't want to go after a ship equipped with that thing.
ANDREW
May I make a suggestion?
YURI
Be my guest.
ANDREW
Shasti may have changed a lot since I last saw her, but I'm sure of
one thing. She was an incredible chess player. I used to be ranked
on my homeworld, but I couldn't even give her a good game. She'd have
me planning ten moves ahead to defend against some manuever she was
leading up to. Only, when the time came, the manuever I was defending
against was never the one she really had planned. She was a master
of the feint.
DAPHNE
So you think some of these actions are blinds, designed to send us
chasing the wrong way?
ANDREW
Exactly.
KEI
Seems like an awful lot of effort to go through just for a feint.
ANDREW
She used to spend twenty moves setting one up.
DARRYN
I think... I think there's another possibility.
[He slowly sits up. Rumiko puts her arms around him.]
RUMIKO
No. Darryn, you're hurt, you have to rest.
DARRYN
I'm okay, Rumiko. There's a working model of a Brock-Hogan Gravity Well
Compensator at a United Galactica federal research installation on the
other side of town. I think she's after that.
DAPHNE
Huh?
YURI
That's the first I've heard of it.
DARRYN
I... read it somewhere. If I felt a little better, I'm sure I could
remember where.
RUMIKO
Still, Shasti hasn't shown any signs of being interested in that. What
makes you think she wants it?
DARRYN
It would be one hell of a prize.
[Yuri and Kei glance nervously at each other.]
YURI
We have to tell them...
RUMIKO
Tell us what?
KEI
Uh, Yuri and I tangled with Shasti two years ago. On vacation. She
tried to steal a GWC, but we stopped her. Barely.
RUMIKO
Two years--? Holy shit, you're talking about the _Lyra_ disaster!
DARRYN
You fought Shasti *before*? Why the hell didn't you say anything?!
YURI
We were out of our jurisdiction! If the 3WA found out, they might have
used it as an excuse to fire us! We weren't exactly popular back then--
KEI
Yeah, like we are now...
YURI [glaring at her]
Besides, it wasn't our fault. Shasti did most of the destruction
herself. Haven't the NightRiders ever done anything you'd rather
keep quiet?
[Rumiko glances nervously at the ground.]
KEI
The point we're trying to make is that her buyer might still be out there.
DARRYN
I think I should go check it out.
[He starts to get up. Rumiko pushes him back down.]
RUMIKO
No way! Not until you're feeling better.
DARRYN
I feel a lot better than I look.
YURI
What exactly did Shasti do to you, anyway?
DARRYN
I... can't remember, really. I think she tried to brain-scan me,
like she did the professor. She broke it off when she heard you and
Kei coming. All she did was give me a really rotten headache. I'm
fine, really.
KEI
I don't think we need to go running over there now, Darryn. We can
phone the UG installation, tell them what we know, have them beef up
security. If something happens, they'll call us, right?
DARRYN [agitated]
No... No, I don't think so. There's no time-- I mean, this is Shasti
we're talking about. D-do you really think any amount of security will
be sufficient? I think I should check out the place, try to come up
with some idea of what Shasti will try when she attacks. It has to be
now!
[The room is silent as everyone thinks it over, a bit unnerved by the
outburst from the usually level-headed Darryn.]
DAPHNE
We'll all go. Deal?
[Everyone gives their assent.]
------
A.D. 214303.21; 00:15:22
United Galactica Federal Research Installation "Capricorn-Alpha"
[The taskforce, minus Andrew, is escorted down a corridor by five armed
guards, and the director of security, a gray-haired man dressed in a more
stylish uniform.]
YURI
The guards really aren't necessary, Director.
DIRECTOR
Nonsense! I was roused out of a sound sleep and ordered to demonstrate how
good our security is. What better way to show you than this?
RUMIKO
So, in other words, this is revenge.
DIRECTOR
What a crude word. I'm just giving you what you asked for, that's all.
I'm always happy to cooperate with the Worlds Welfare Work Association.
Ah. We've arrived.
[They reach a set of large, thick, sliding doors.]
This is security central. The only way to get in is to be let in.
[He presses a red button and looks into a small camera.]
This is Director Taft. Open.
[The doors slowly slide open, revealing just how heavy they are.]
Ladies, gentleman?
[He waves them through.]
Of course, there is a key, but we don't keep it on the premises.
[Inside, security central is a large, open room ringed by consoles and
row on top of row of monitor screens.]
NENE
Oooh. Nice.
KEI
This place doesn't seem big enough to need all this.
DIRECTOR
>From the air, it may seem small, but we have seventeen levels of sub-
basements. This is one of the most important federal research stations
in the sector. A lot of sensitive equipment is developed here. When
it comes to security, we know what we're doing.
NENE
Can I try it out? Please? I promise I won't break anything!
DIRECTOR
Uh, sure.
[He motions a security officer out of her seat.]
Sit here.
[Nene sits and jacks herself in.]
>From here we can monitor every inch of this facility, with cameras,
heat-sensors, weight-sensors, and motion-sensors. Once a threat is
obtained, we can isolate it by sealing off sectors, and neutralize
it with lasers, electric current, and stun gas, among other options.
NENE
Can I see the gravity-well compensator?
DIRECTOR
Yes. Access the cameras in storage room 38-J.
[The screen shows several views of a non-descript, oblong device,
about 2 meters long.]
DAPHNE
Well, Nene, you're the one plugged in. What do you think?
NENE
I dunno. This system seems about as tight as you can get.
DIRECTOR
And with Shasti known to be in the area, it's even tighter than usual.
Trust me, the device is in no danger.
DARRYN
I want to see it.
[Heads turn to look at Darryn.]
RUMIKO
Why? We've just seen--
DARRYN
I'm not satisfied. Shasti will find a way in, just like she did at Kuan
Yin.
DIRECTOR
Those idiots at Kuan Yin were amateurs! We're the United Galactica!
We've dealt with spies, foreign powers, and terrorists! We know what
we're doing! I'm sorry, but access to the GWC is out of the question.
DARRYN [fuming]
The hell it is. We're the 3WA! We've pulled your pathetic UG ass
out of the fire more times than you can count! How many of those
spies and terrorists you're so damn proud of were really handled by
trouble consultants?! Huh? How many?!
[The Director tries to say something, but Darryn cuts him off.]
Now you give us access to the GWC pronto, or I'll tell everyone back
at the office how Director Taft obstructed an official 3WA terrorist
investigation! Think that'll help your career?
[The Director and Darryn glare at each other for several seconds.]
DIRECTOR [through his teeth]
Follow me.
[The taskforce is led back down the corridor, accompanied by the guards.]
RUMIKO [quietly]
Darryn, are you okay? I've never seen you lose your temper like that.
DARRYN
Save it, Rumiko. Now is *not* the time.
[Rumiko is hurt, but stays silent.]
[A long trip down an elevator later, the taskforce is in front of yet
another security door. The director begins to type in a long security
code.]
DIRECTOR
The code is thirteen digits long and changed every six hours. Good
enough for you?
DARRYN
Just get us inside.
[The doors open, revealing the GWC.]
DIRECTOR
As you can see, it's still there. The walls are two foot thick
molecularly reinforced titanium steel and there are no ventilation
ducts, no way in except through the door.
[Darryn inspects the machine.]
DARRYN
Hmm. I guess everything checks out then. Let's go.
KEI
Huh?
YURI
Just like that?
DARRYN
I wanted to be satisfied that the device was secure. Now I am.
DIRECTOR
Good. Terrific. Wonderful. Now, if you'll all just leave, *I'll* be
satisfied.
DARRYN
Certainly.
[As everyone is led out, Darryn discreetly places a small device on the
GWC.]
DIRECTOR [To the guards:]
Lead them back out.
[He walks off in a different direction.]
[The taskforce reaches the level they began on and begin walking back,
accompanied by the five guards.]
KEI
Well, this was a real waste of time.
DAPHNE
Yeah, but Darryn did have a point. Who knows, maybe--
RUMIKO
Darryn's gone.
[Everyone spins around to face Rumiko.]
GUARD [angrily]
You mean your friend is wandering around unsecured?
RUMIKO
Darryn is a 3WA Trouble Consultant, god damn you, not a security risk!!
[The guard speaks into a wrist communicator.]
GUARD
This is G-209 reporting--GUNNF!
[Rumiko kicks him in the stomach, while the others stand stunned. A
shot to the chin knocks him unconscious. A second guard pulls his
gun, and is immediately blindsided by Kei. Daphne and Nene team up
on the third and make short work of him. The fourth charges Yuri,
gun drawn, apparently meaning to take her hostage, but she judo-throws
him into the fifth guard. Seconds later all the guards are out cold.]
KEI
Well, that was fun.
YURI
Sure was. Now, Rumiko, would you kindly explain why the HELL WE JUST
DID THAT??!
RUMIKO [near tears]
It's Darryn. He's been acting real weird. I think... I think Shasti
did something to him, and if we don't find him first, the security will
kill him!
DAPHNE
What about that telepathic audio thingamajig the two of you share?
RUMIKO
I'm still trying it. He won't respond!
YURI
We'd better split up and search. The first one to find him radio the
others.
------
00:20:00
Vault containing the Gravity Well Compensator
[The air shimmers, and a team of five bogus security guards materializes,
along with a hover-dolly and a meter-tall black cylinder with blinking
indicators on top. The team is led by Paul. One of the men speaks.]
MAN
God, I hate this half-warp shit. One of these days we're gonna materialize
inside a wall, I just know it.
PAUL
Okay, folks, let's get to work. The field-stabilizer will run out of power
in less than twenty-five minutes, and we all know what happens then.
[The men begin moving the GWC onto the dolly.]
------
00:20:25
Security Central
[A signal sounds, drawing a console operator's attention to a screen showing
an uncharacteristically nervous Darryn, pale and trembling.]
DARRYN
This is 3WA Trouble Consultant Darryn Paxton. I need in.
OPERATOR
Are you authorized?
DARRYN [snapping at him]
Of course I'm authorized! I've already been inside, remember?! I--
I dropped a datachip in there.
[The operator scans the floor. Sure enough, there's a chip. He picks
it up.]
OPERATOR
I'll bring it to the door.
DARRYN
Good enough.
[The operator opens the door. Darryn rushes in and knocks him out with
a spin kick. Another operator draws a gun, but Darryn dodges the shot,
draws his own gun and kills the man. The remaining operators panic,
running for the door, but Darryn takes them all out with chops, blows,
and kicks. The room secure, Darryn gets to work.]
------
00:22:10
[Rumiko searches one of a thousand corridors. She turns a corner and
runs into a guard.]
RUMIKO
Uh, hi!
GUARD
What are you doing here? You're not authorized to be on this level.
RUMIKO
Oh, c'mon. You've gotta recognize *this* outfit! I'm 3WA. We're
authorized everywhere. Bye!
[She tries to walk past him. He pulls a gun.]
GUARD
Don't move.
RUMIKO
Oh, fer shit's sake...
GUARD
Wait a minute! I was told about you. You guys came in here asking
stupid questions about the GWC, right? I knew you weren't to be
trusted!
RUMIKO
I'm with the 3WA, dammit!
GUARD
Maybe you are and maybe you aren't. Strip!
RUMIKO
WHAT?!
GUARD
You heard me. Let's see what interesting things you have hidden in that
suit of yours.
[Rumiko glares at him, but starts to comply. As she begins to unfasten
her top, one of the ceiling-mounted security lasers spins and nails the
guy in the head.]
RUMIKO
SHIT!
[The laser stays still.]
Darryn? Darryn did you do that?
[Silence.]
The security room. That's where he must be...
[She runs off.]
------
00:22:45
[Yuri arrives back at the room containing the GWC, to find it being
carried out by the bogus guards, covered by a tarpaulin.]
YURI
Excuse me, have any of you seen--
[Yuri recognizes Paul and pulls her gun.]
I know you! You're Shasti's friend! Put your hands up! Now!
PAUL
Do as she says.
[All hands go up. Yuri activates her com-earring. Paul slowly
begins to lower his hands again.]
YURI
Guys! I found them! I found--!
[A dart shoots from Paul's wrist cuff into Yuri's shoulder. She
reflexively pulls it out, but the drug forces her to her knees.]
PAUL
Let's go.
BOGUS GUARD
Aren't you going to kill her?
PAUL
What's the point? They'll all be dead in ten minutes. Let's go!
We can't afford to waste any more time.
------
00:24:00
Outside Security Central
[Rumiko arrives. The area near the door is littered with corpses, as the
lasers keep the guards, and the Director, at bay. They line the corridors,
just out of range.]
RUMIKO
Oh my god...
DIRECTOR
Take her into custody, now!
[The guards restrain her.]
DIRECTOR
What do you know about this? What are you trying to do?
RUMIKO
You have to let me through! It's your only chance!
GUARD #1
You're crazy! You'll be mowed down like all the others!
GUARD #2
No, she won't. She's in league with him!
RUMIKO
He's being controlled! I think I can get through to him, but you
have to trust me!
[The guards think it over.]
DIRECTOR
Let her go. She can't possibly make it any worse.
[The guards release her.]
Go!
RUMIKO
Darryn?! Darryn, I'm coming through! Don't... Don't shoot me, okay?
[She cautiously moves into the open. The lasers spin to face
her, but do not fire.]
Darryn? Open up, so I can talk to you. Please?
[She walks to the door.]
Darryn, please open--AAH!
[The door opens slightly, Rumiko is pulled through it, and it
slams shut.]
------
00:24:45
[A weak Yuri has retraced the thieves' steps back to the vault
containing the GWC. The door is open, and Yuri walks in.
She notices the black cylinder, and walks closer to examine it.
Set into the top is an LED readout counting down the time to
"FIELD COLLAPSE".
She puts two and two together, and a look of alarm spreads across
her face, turning quickly to terror. The adrenaline quickly dispatches
the tranquilizer, and she bolts out the door.]
------
00:25:00
[Rumiko faces Darryn. Darryn looks as if he is overdosing on some
particularly nasty drug. His eyes are ringed with purplish-black,
his hair is sopping wet with sweat, and he quivers like a frightened
child.]
DARRYN
You shouldn't have come, Rumiko. You shouldn't have...
[Tears trickle down Rumiko's cheeks as she fights to maintain her
composure.]
RUMIKO
You have to fight it! They'll kill you! Oh, god, they'll kill you!
DARRYN
Fight... Fight... Can't fight...
[A console speaker comes to life.]
SPEAKER
Operative D, clear level 1, sections 5 through 15.
[Like a flash, Darryn is at the controls.]
RUMIKO
What are you doing?
[She checks the display. It shows several blips moving slowly
through a map of the complex.]
That's Shasti's gang, isn't it? You're helping them get past security!
Stop, you have to stop!
[She tries to grab his hands. He grabs her by the uniform and
throws her across the room.]
------
00:26:30
Outside Security Central
[The rest of the taskforce, save Yuri, arrives. Kei activates her comm
earring.]
KEI
Rumiko, what's going on?
RUMIKO (COMM)
It's Darryn! He's being controlled by something! He's really sick!
DAPHNE
Rumiko, you have to get him to step outside!
RUMIKO (COMM)
No way! Those goons'll kill him!
DAPHNE
No, they won't.
DIRECTOR
The hell we won't!
DAPHNE
If you do, I swear I'll go on the planetary media to tell everyone
how UG security murdered one of my best friends. In case you haven't
noticed, I'm *very* popular here.
[The guards get nervous.]
GUARD #3
She says that on 3V, they'll kick us all off the planet! I'm not
ready for the unemployment line.
DIRECTOR
Dammit...
[He thinks it over.]
Alright, we'll try it your way. But you better pray whatever
you're planning works.
DAPHNE
Rumiko, you're going to have to trust me! Get him outside!
------
[Rumiko swallows hard, then closes her eyes.]
RUMIKO
Activating ninjitsu package...now.
[Rumiko's eyes open, and she looks much calmer than she had been.
She strolls up to Darryn, and in one, flowing move, spin kicks him
out of his chair. Darryn spins as he falls, lands on his feet and
stands at the ready.]
DARRYN
Don't... Please don't do this, Rumiko. Don't make me hurt you. I beg you.
[Rumiko and Darryn circle, feeling each other out with thrusts and
kicks, but not making contact.]
RUMIKO
You won't hurt me. I know it. And I won't hurt you, either. Just stop
this, now!
DARRYN
I CAN'T!!
[Darryn spins and kicks, then kicks again. Both manuevers miss,
but Rumiko is driven back against the rear console. Darryn
jabs, Rumiko dodges, the console splinters.]
------
[Kei watches as Daphne assembles the special gun.]
KEI
Cool! You brought it!
DAPHNE
Well, of course I did. We were expecting to run into Shasti, remember?
NENE
Daphne's *always* prepared.
[Daphne pulls the tranquilzer-plug from a pouch on her belt and inserts
it into the tip of the gun barrel.]
DAPHNE
Come on, Rumiko. Give me a shot.
------
[Darryn is driving Rumiko all over the room, and she is tiring fast.]
DARRYN
Sit down. I don't have to finish you. It's okay if I don't.
[Rumiko decides to try another tactic.]
RUMIKO
I love you, Darryn.
[Darryn hesitates.]
You still love me, don't you?
[Darryn drives her back with a combination of thrusts and kicks,
but she spins and gets the open room behind her.]
We're going to retire in two years, remember? Get married? Have some
kids?
[Darryn whimpers and kicks at her again, but misses wildly this
time.]
Remember the little mountain cabin on New Japan? We'd run a martial-arts
school, study philosophy, fish, see the cherry blossoms every spring? I
still want to do it, Darryn.
DARRYN (whisper)
Stop. Please. Stop.
SPEAKER
Operative D, clear level 1, sections 1 through 4.
DARRYN
SHUT UP!! SHUT!! UP!!
[He beats the console, smashing it. Rumiko takes the opportunity
to open the door and lock it open.]
No... n-no, you can't do that.
RUMIKO
I'm leaving Darryn. Do you want to stop me?
DARRYN (desperately)
Please don't go.
RUMIKO
You'll have to stop me.
[She backs toward the door, then through it. Darryn follows her, posed
as if ready for an attack. Two steps, three, then at last he's
outside.]
------
[Daphne raises the gun.]
DAPHNE
Here I go!!
[Daphne sees her vision zoom until the interface socket behind
Darryn's ear is clearly visible. The socket is then outlined
in red with the words "TARGET ACQUIRED" above it. She fires.]
DARRYN
UNH!
[The plug hits him in the socket and sticks. He grabs at the plug,
then collapses in a heap.]
DAPHNE
Got him!
------
00:28:00
[Paul tries his wrist comm, with no results.]
PAUL
Operative D? Operative D! Respond, dammit!
[He gives up and draws his gun.]
The hell with it. This way is more fun, anyway. Let's just see if
we can get out of here before security gets their act back together.
[The group begins pushing the GWC rapidly down the corridor,
destroying lasers as they go.]
------
00:28:10
[A crowd has gathered around Darryn.]
GUARD #3
Boy, he don't look good.
RUMIKO
We have to get him back to the _Lovely_Angel_.
DIRECTOR
Yeah, well, once he's back on his feet, I'll have a lot of questions
to ask him.
[Yuri comes running up, completely out of breath.]
YURI
Gotta--! Gotta get out--! Everyone! Now! Gonna explode!
DIRECTOR
What are you talking about?
KEI
Yeah, Yuri, what are you--
YURI
Bomb! Big bomb! Kuan Yin!!
[The shocked stares indicate complete comprehension.]
------
00:32:55
[Panicked evacuation. Security guards stream out of the building,
running to any available vehicle. In all the commotion, no one
notices a small shuttle that doesn't belong as it flies away.
The _Lovely_Angel_ comes down and hovers, allowing the taskforce
to board, Darryn being carried by Kei and Rumiko.
As the _Lovely_Angel_ flies away, the explosion occurs, deep
underground. The ground swells like a giant bubble, then collapses,
swallowing the above-ground portion of the complex, along with the
few personnel who didn't make it out in time.
Safe in the _Lovely_Angel_, the taskforce watches as the crater
expands. Darryn lies unconscious, his head cradled in Rumiko's lap.]
RUMIKO
She'll pay for doing this to you. I swear she will.
-- END STAGE FOUR --
NEXT >>> "What do you mean, `they vanished'?!"
-----------------------------------------------------------------------------
Comments? Larry and Ryan would love to read 'em!
Larry (original idea, plot, formatting, and illustrations)
is at "lrmann@uci.edu"
Ryan (plot, script)
is at "mathews1@ix.netcom.com"
------------------------------------------------------------------------
The Dirty Pair (and Company)
in
R E U N I O N S
by
Larry Mann and Ryan Mathews
------------------------------------------------------------------------
I see your face everytime I dream
On every page, every magazine
So wild and free, so far from me
You're all I want, my fantasy
- Def Leppard: "Photograph"
-------------------
S T A G E F I V E
-------------------
A.D. 214303.21; 11:09:20
Planet Bydon, City of Ekana, Anavel Municipal Hospital
[Scene: The taskforce huddles around an unconscious Darryn, Rumiko sitting
in a chair and holding his hand, while a doctor gives a report.]
DOCTOR
It was one of the nastiest wetware viruses I've ever seen. I was actually
loathe to save a copy of the thing. I mean, if one of my staff got
infected, God only knows what could happen. Of course, we'll have to study
it...
RUMIKO
Is Darryn going to be alright?
DOCTOR
Hmm? Oh. Oh, yes, he'll be fine. We wiped his wetware and reloaded it
from his most recent 3WA profile. Of course, that means he's lost whatever
modifications have been made since then, but it can't be helped. Once we've
cleared the data, he can have a reload if he wants.
RUMIKO
What about his body?
DOCTOR
I told you, he'll be fine. He just needs to rest for a few hours. He'll
come around. Now if you'll excuse me, I have rounds to make.
[The doctor leaves.]
KEI
Well, this sucks. I was really hoping he could help us.
YURI
What do we do? We're back at square one.
DAPHNE
Not really. I mean, Shasti's gotta have what she wants by now, right? And
she must have some kind of timetable.
KEI
So we should wait for her to try to leave the planet?
NENE
What if her buyer is on the planet?
DAPHNE
I don't think that's very likely. But even so, they'll have to leave
eventually.
YURI
Y'know, something just occurred to me. Now that they have the gravity-well
compensator, they can warp from the surface, right past the blockade!
DAPHNE
Wow, good point! We'd better get the word to the security forces to forbid
all warp-engine powerups.
RUMIKO
Yeah, but if I remember what I read about the GWC, it needs a lot of power.
They couldn't do it with a shuttle.
DAPHNE
Still, it gives us somewhere to start. I say Nene and I should do an air
sweep with the _Lonely_Heart_.
[Outside, a mother walks by with a complaining young boy on crutches.]
BOY
But, Moooooommm!
MOTHER
I said no! The doctor told you to stay off that ankle for six hours. If I
take you there, you'll start pestering me to let you go on rides!
BOY
No, I won't! I promise!
MOTHER
The carnival will still be there next weekend. Now, we're going home!
[Andrew watches the two leave, then turns to the others.]
ANDREW
I've got a crazy hunch. I'd appreciate some help in checking it out.
------
11:24:00
Shrine-Vargas Carnival, Ekana Regional Park
[Shasti and Paul walk down the midway. Paul looks nervous, but Shasti is
eating an ice-cream cone and enjoying herself.]
PAUL
We shouldn't be here.
SHASTI
Paul, will you lighten up? I told you, act nonchalant. How long 'til
pickup?
[Paul checks his watch.]
PAUL
Thirty-six minutes. For Christ's sake, Shasti, the entire fucking *planet*
is after us!! Do you really think it's wise to be out in the open like
this?
SHASTI [mouth full of ice-cream]
Of course. It's the safest place.
PAUL
Excuse me?
SHASTI
You see, sweetheart, the 3WA has sent a team of my old friends to hunt me
down. That means they're trying to outthink me. They're probably combing
the city as we speak, searching all the clever hiding places they can think
of.
PAUL
Okay, but what about the police? Don't you think the 3WA has given them
your description?
[Shasti doubles over laughing.]
SHASTI
HAHAHAA! Oh, that's a good one! Oh, man! Trust me, Paul, the last thing
the 3WA will ever do is tell anyone about *me*! No, the only one here who
might get ID'd is you. So calm down. C'mon, I'll win you a prize.
[The Dirty Pair and Andrew search the carnival. Kei and Yuri have changed
into civilian clothes, guns concealed in loose jackets.]
KEI
This is asinine. You don't really think she's here, do you?
ANDREW
I think there's a good chance.
YURI
Why?
ANDREW
I told you, it's a long story.
YURI
Well, you might as well--
[A child walks by with a stuffed bear.]
Aww! I want one of those!
KEI
Binary Bear? He's been off the air for ages!
YURI
Yeah, but it was my favorite cartoon!
KEI
Okay, tell ya what. I'll win one for you. Gimme a credit.
YURI
Get real! You have to be a pretty good marksman to win at that game.
KEI
I *beg* your pardon?! I *am* a TC, you know. I'm trained!
YURI
I don't think they'll let you use a bazooka, Kei.
KEI
Oooh! Now I'm pissed! I'm gonna win that stupid bear and not give it to
you!
[Kei storms off as Yuri giggles.]
ANDREW
Are you two always like this?
YURI
Naw, Kei's just a better shot when she's P.O.'d.
[Kei arrives at the game stand at the same time as Shasti.]
KEI & SHASTI
One please--!
[The two women recognize each other.]
Oh, shit.
=============================================================================
A.D. 213504.16; 18:30:00
Planet Elenore, Elenore City
"Andy, hurry up! We'll miss the next ride!" Shasti yelled, waving
back at him. She had already reached the end of the line, while Andrew,
puffing and panting, strained to catch up.
When he finally did, he waved her off. "I think five times on that
roller coaster is plenty for anyone, let alone an out-of-shape psychologist.
Let's do something else."
"Oh, c'mon," whined Shasti. "You're just no fun sometimes, you know
that?"
"Shasti, it's a huge carnival. There's gotta be something else fun to
do here."
"Okay!" Just like that, she agreed. "Let's go this way!" Shasti ran
off, forcing Andrew to take a deep breath and jog after her.
Of course, he had expected this. It was her first time out in the real
world, around other people and outside the laboratory. She was bound to be
excited.
Shasti had reached the mental age of seventeen, and Andrew had decided
that it was time he took a good look at her social skills. To do that, he
needed to place her in an environment in which she was surrounded by
strangers. The annual Elenore Carnival presented just an opportunity.
Also, he felt Shasti could use the diversion, after having been cooped up in
a lab all her life.
Getting her here had been quite an exercise. He hadn't even bothered
to ask permission. He figured that either they'd say no, or else saddle him
with a bunch of scary-looking chaperones in suits and sunglasses, which
would make the whole point of the trip impossible.
He'd planned the affair weeks in advance, scheduling it on a weekend on
which Ayoob would be on vacation. He submitted his plans for the day, which
included a ten-hour closed-door session with Shasti in a unmonitored room,
explaining that Shasti was aware of the devices and couldn't be counted upon
to give honest responses. He then smuggled Shasti out of the lab in a
borrowed uniform, blonde wig, and glasses.
If he was caught, he'd be in deep shit, of course, but Andrew had
confidence that the day would be uneventful. Once the trip was over, he'd
present the results to Ayoob. He'd be pissed at first, but Andrew was
convinced that he'd be overjoyed when he saw how well Shasti had done.
And she was doing well, having the time of her life, in fact. She had
engaged several people in conversation while waiting in lines. She had
obeyed the ride operators commands, waiting until the ride came to a
complete stop even though Andrew knew all she wanted to do was to run to the
next one.
Andrew hoped eventually to take Shasti to the water park and get her in
the pool, to she how she played around others. If nothing else, it was a
chance to see her in a swimsuit.
Andrew blinked. Where the hell had that last thought come from? He
chided himself for even considering such a thing.
He looked around and quickly spotted Shasti, staring with wide-eyed
desire at a stuffed model of Binary Bear, a popular cartoon character.
The barker leaned forward. "So you like that, do ya, lady?" he asked
her with a smile. "Why don't you ask your boyfriend to win it for you?"
"Boyfriend?" Shasti asked.
Andrew finally caught up with her and tapped her on the shoulder. "He
means me. Sure, what the hell. How does it work?"
"Simple," replied the barker. "You give me a credit. Then I give you
this pistol here. It's got six BBs in it. You have to completely shoot out
one of the paper stars on the wall. Do it, and you get your choice."
Shasti gave him her most endearing look. "Please?"
Andrew sighed. "What the hell. I'm the original sucker." He slid his
cred-card into the portable scanner bolted to the wooden counter, took the
gun, aimed at one of the uncountable number of tiny stars on the back wall,
and fired six times.
The barker took a look. "Three out of six. Not bad. You didn't clear
the star, though. Wanna try again? Practice makes perfect."
"Can I try?" asked Shasti.
"Uh, sure." He slipped the card into the slot once more. "Give her a
gun," he said to the barker.
The barker handed Shasti a fresh pistol. "Now, what you wanna do is
line up this bump here with the bump on the barrel and the target. Then
gently--"
"Um-hmm," said Shasti and fired. The BB missed the star by several
millimeters.
"That wasn't bad for a first shot," said the barker. "Now, this
time--"
"Sights are off," Shasti said, quietly. Andrew turned to look at her.
There was something different about her voice, something darker. Her
expression had changed from the bubbly seventeen-year-old to an adult, all
business. She raised the gun and fired again. This time the BB punched
right through the center of the star.
"Too much speed. The hole's too small." Shasti took a step back,
raised the gun and fired four times, quickly.
The barker examined the star, or rather, the gaping hole where the star
had been. "Well, y-you did it. What prize do you want?"
"Binary Bear!" Shasti squealed. "I want Binary Bear!" She was her old
self again.
Shasti immediately talked Andrew into buying ice-cream cones. It
sounded like a good idea to him anyway. Something cold might cool his brain
down. What exactly had happened to Shasti? Andrew thought about calling it
a day and getting her back to the lab, then decided against it. She hadn't
seemed in any danger. Still, there were going to be some pointed questions
for Ayoob when he got back.
Shasti paused in her stroll to look at the sky. The sun was going
down, and some of Elenore's sister planets were visible. "I was thinking,
Andy. About how that guy thought you were my boyfriend. What did you think
about that?"
"Well, um, it was understandable. We do look like a couple."
"I... I kinda like the idea. You know, of you being my boyfriend."
"Shasti..."
She slipped her arm around his and leaned against him. "Do you like
me, Andy?" She looked up at him, blushing. "B-be honest. Don't, like, lie
to me to spare my feelings, okay?"
He looked at her. God, she was beautiful. The dying sunlight
shimmered through her black hair. Her eyes, wide and expressive, pleaded
with him for an answer. Almost involuntarily, he gave her one. "I do like
you, Shasti."
Shasti's reaction was one of unbridled delight. "Oh, Andy! I'm so
happy!" She hugged him. "I thought, 'cuz, you know, 'cuz I'm so young,
that, that, you know..."
She pulled away from him and wiped away a stray tear. "Well, that's
enough mushy stuff for one day, right?" She pulled a digital camera out of
the bag on her belt and handed it to Andrew. "Take my picture! Before the
light gets low!"
Laughing, Andrew aimed the camera while Shasti struck a pose. As he
snapped the shot, he became aware of some considerable commotion behind
Shasti. A crowd was heading her way.
"Shasti," he called to her, "maybe we should get out of the way of
whatever this--"
But before he could finish the sentence, a large, unshaven man had run
up to her. He grabbed Shasti around the neck with one arm. Andrew could
only watch in terror as the man produced a gun with the other hand and held
it to her temple.
Two other men ran up to join him, followed by several police officers.
Andrew saw snipers moving into position on top of game and food stands.
"Clear the area!" screamed an officer.
Andrew found himself being dragged away. "No! I can't be separated
from her! She's my--! She's my girlfriend!"
An officer assured him she'd be safe as Andrew continued to be pulled
away.
"I'm not going back, you bastards! Give me the slightest excuse, and
this bitch's brains paint the midway!"
That's who they were, thought Andrew. Prison escapees. They had been
on the news two nights before.
The criminal continued to yell at the police. "The three of us are
leaving the carnival! You're going to clear a path for us, understand?"
Andrew finally got loose from the officer. He put the camera on
telephoto, and watched through the viewscreen, as something happened to
Shasti.
It was like the episode at the game stand, only much worse. Her
expression hardened into one of intense hate. She spoke, her voice sounding
more like a demon than anything human. "Let... me... GO!"
The man holding her looked startled. "What? Shut up, bitch!"
What happened next appeared to Andrew to be in slow motion. First,
Shasti threw her head back, connecting with the man's chin. She pulled
free, a split second before the gun went off. As she turned around, she
grabbed the man's hand, still holding the gun, shoved it into his mouth, and
fired three times. A shower of blood, brain matter, and bone fragments
coated the asphalt. Shasti wrenched the gun free, turned it on a rapidly
approaching colleague of the dead man, and shot him between the eyes. She
turned on the third and pulled the trigger. Out of ammo. The man grinned
and rushed her. She threw the gun at him so hard, it knocked him flat on
his back, blood gushing from his forehead. She strolled over and picked him
up by the neck. The man began screaming for mercy, blood streaming down his
face onto Shasti, who calmly snapped his neck with one hand.
Shasti stood for a few seconds, panting, glaring at everyone staring at
her. The snipers had not stood down.
Suddenly Shasti's expression softened into one of confusion. She
looked at everyone around her, then at her clothes, soaked with blood, then
at the three corpses on the ground. Then she started to scream.
Andrew broke through the cordon and ran to her, screaming her name.
=============================================================================
ANDREW
SHASTI!!
YURI
Andrew, DON'T!
[Andrew runs flat-out up to Shasti, who is first startled, then strains to
recognize him.]
SHASTI [quietly]
You... You! I remember now. I remember everything. Shit, what a fool I
was to come here...
[Behind her back, Shasti makes a quick motion. Paul, who is hanging
inconspicuously back from the action, begins calmly to move into
position.]
[Kei pulls her gun.]
KEI
Don't move. Not a muscle. You so much as fucking *blink*, you're toast,
got that?!
[A look of stark terror creeps across Shasti's face.]
SHASTI
Oh my GOD! Y-y-you must be one of those-- those T-TERRORISTS!!
[Heads turn.]
KEI
We're with the 3WA, folks! Just--
SHASTI [weeping]
PLEASE DON'T KILL ME! OH, PLEASE GOD, DON'T KILL ME!
[She grabs Andrew around the neck by one hand and pulls him close.]
Please help me, Darling! Don't let them hurt me!
YURI [to herself]
Dammit, now she has a hostage...
KEI
Cut the SHIT! Let the guy go and get up against the wall, or I'll--
[A gun pokes Kei in the temple.]
BARKER
Or you'll what?
[Kei squirms.]
UH-UH! This may be a toy, but at this distance, it's deadly.
SHASTI
Oh, thank you, sir! You're wonderful!
[The crowd cheers.]
KEI
You assholes! I'm a 3WA trouble consultant!
BARKER
Since when does the 3WA pick on unarmed women?
KEI
We're not terrorists!! We're the goddamned DIRTY PAIR!!
[The crowd screams and panics.]
YURI
Way to go, Kei...
SHASTI
NOW!!
[Paul throws a small pellet to the ground, and the area is filled with
smoke. Various punches, kicks, and cries of pain can be heard through the
mist. When the smoke clears, the barker is laying face down on the counter,
blood and teeth dribbling out of his mouth.]
YURI
You through?
KEI
Yeah. C'mon, let's get after her!
[One look at the crowd makes clear the impossibility of that task. Scores
of people are running every which way in utter panic.]
YURI
Damn...
[She touches an earring.]
Yuri to _Lonely_Heart_!
DAPHNE [VO]
_Lonely_Heart_, Daphne here.
YURI
Shasti's on the move. We ran into her at the carnival, just like Andrew
said.
DAPHNE [VO]
Great! We'll head for the area!
YURI
Kei, you'd better put Deirdre in and get her up to speed. We're gonna need
her.
------
11:35:00
Parking lot, Shrine-Vargas Carnival
[Shasti and Paul head through the mass of parked aircars, with Andrew in
tow.]
SHASTI
Look, I said I was sorry. They screwed with my head! I never would have
come here if I'd remembered.
PAUL
So here we are, running for our lives at a fucking carnival! Did you plan
for *this* contigency, Miss Mastermind?
SHASTI
I plan for *every* contingency.
[They reach their aircar. Shasti gets in the driver's seat, starts it
up, slides a card into a slot on the dashboard, then gets out and slams
the door. The car takes off into the air and heads away without them.
She then gets to work breaking into the neighboring car.]
Now we take this car here.
PAUL [pointing to Andrew]
Okay, but what about him?
SHASTI
He comes with us. The two of us have some unfinished business.
[Paul pulls a gun and levels it at Andrew, who cringes.]
PAUL
Well, how about we finish it right here!
[Shasti grabs his wrist and bends it back.]
AAAAGGH!
SHASTI
You are *not* to harm him in any way. Do I make myself clear?
PAUL [grunting in pain]
Crystal...
ANDREW
Shasti...
SHASTI [to Paul]
Now get in and drive us to the shuttle. And obey the speed limit!!
[Cut to the bridge of the _Lonely_Heart_.]
NENE
Daphne, I got something!! There's an aircar breaking the flight ban!
DAPHNE
Where's it headed?
NENE
Its present course will take it right to an abandoned military base. That
would be the perfect spot to hide a getaway shuttle.
DAPHNE
I'll let the Lovely Angels know.
[Cut to Kei and Yuri.]
DEIRDRE (KEI)
No, I don't think so.
YURI
Why not? Daphne just said it would be the perfect spot!
DEIRDRE (KEI)
Like, exactly! That's exactly why she wouldn't go there!
KEI
Yuri, we've only got one shot at this, don't you think? I mean, if we head
to the base and she's not there...
YURI
She gets away. Of course, we could send the _Lonely_Heart_ to the base and
try some other idea ourselves, but that means we'll be outgunned when we
find them----OOOOOOOOOOHHH!! I hate this!! She's always one step ahead!
It's like trying to out-think yourself!!
KEI
Heh, maybe you're just thinking too hard, Yuri.
[Yuri blinks, then hugs Kei.]
YURI
Kei, you're BRILLIANT!
KEI
I am?
YURI
Yeah! Don't you see?! When Shasti saw the huge taskforce on 3V, she knew
we were trying to out-think her! We've been scouring the city looking for
some clever hiding place, when all the time she was hanging out at a
carnival!
KEI
So?
YURI
So their shuttle is probably hidden in some obvious place that we'd be sure
to overlook, 'cuz it's not clever enough! What do you think, Deirdre?
DEIRDRE (KEI)
Makes sense to me.
YURI
C'mon, Kei. I've got a real obvious place to try.
KEI
I sure hope she's there.
YURI
Me too. I'm gonna look like a complete idiot if she isn't.
------
11:51:00
Ekana Interstellar Spaceport
[In a hangar, a large, sleek shuttle is being loaded by several members of
Shasti's gang, including Nance. Shasti's car speeds inside and comes to a
screeching halt. Shasti comes running out, Andrew in tow.]
SHASTI
Fire up the engines. We're leaving! Now!
NANCE
But we haven't had time to stow everything yet! It's just in there loose!
SHASTI
That's tough! We'll just have to fly gently.
NANCE [pointing to Andrew]
Who's he?
PAUL
Someone Shasti picked up at the carnival.
SHASTI
He's coming along.
NANCE
I'm sorry, but that's not possible! We have barely enough fuel to get this
thing into orbit. We can't take on another passenger!
SHASTI
What?? Why wasn't I informed of this?!
NANCE
What was there to inform you? The fuel is enough to execute your plan. We
didn't expect you to change it!
[Shasti lets go of Andrew's arm and thinks hard.]
SHASTI
Shit. Shit. We'll just have to leave some of the Kuan Yin crap behind.
NANCE
Shasti, we *need* those parts!
PAUL
What *is* this guy to you, anyway?!
[While they argue, Andrew backs off, then bolts out the hangar door and runs
away across the tarmac.]
PAUL
What the--! Hey!!
[He pulls his gun and fires, missing. Shasti grabs him by the neck and
throws him to the ground, hard.]
SHASTI
Damn you, I said not to harm him!!
[To the others:]
Get that shuttle running and catch up to me!
[She heads after Andrew.]
[Andrew runs as fast as he can, but he's a little out of shape, and soon
slows. Shasti, taking long strides, catches up and grabs his arm.]
ANDREW
Oh, god... (pant, gasp) Please don't kill me...
SHASTI
I'm not going to kill you, for crying out loud. Damn it, you're the one who
ran up to me, remember? I thought you wanted this!
ANDREW
I don't know *what* I want. I just know you're not the woman I remember.
And your friends scare the hell out of me.
SHASTI
I won't let them hurt you, you have my word. My memories are just now
returning. I don't want to let you go until I've sorted them out, Andy.
[The shuttle taxies up. The hatch opens and stairs extend. From the
opening, one of the workers waves.]
WORKER
Shasti! Get in--GUH!
[The man is shot in the chest and falls back as the shuttle continues to
taxi past. Shasti whirls and looks into the sky. Kei and Yuri are circling
in an aircar, Kei holding a rifle and leaning out the window.]
KEI
Dammit, missed! Come around and give me another shot!
YURI
Will do!
[Shasti draws a gun from her jacket and fires, but the aircar is out of
range.]
SHASTI
Oh, shit. I'm a sitting duck...
[The aircar comes around. Kei looks through the scope and gets Shasti in
the crosshairs.]
KEI
It's the end of the line, you schizoid bitch.
[Andrew fills the view from the scope.]
WHAT??! NO!!
ANDREW
Run!!
SHASTI
Andy...
ANDREW
RUN, GODDAMMIT!
[Shasti reaches the shuttle in a few strides and enters. The hatch closes
and the shuttle begins picking up speed.]
KEI
That wimpy four-eyed son-of-a-bitch--! What the hell is he trying to do?!!
[The shuttle takes off. Yuri attempts to follow.]
YURI
This isn't going to work. They're way faster than us.
KEI
What about the police?
YURI
Shasti's little trick had them completely fooled. The nearest cruiser is
still minutes away.
[The _Lonely_Heart_ comes flying past, shaking the aircar in its wake.]
KEI
YES!! Ha HA! You're toast now, Shasti!
[Inside the shuttle:]
PAUL
We're in deep shit. We can't outrun this thing.
SHASTI
Well, we're going to have to try.
[The _Lonely_Heart_:]
NENE
The shuttle will be in range in less than a minute. Should I blast 'em?
DAPHNE
Not yet. Our orders are to take her alive if possible. See if you can
raise them on the comm.
[The shuttle:]
PAUL
We're being hailed.
SHASTI
Ignore it. That's not the Dirty Pair. I don't think they'll shoot, except
as a last resort.
[The _Lonely_Heart_:]
NENE
No response.
DAPHNE
Okay. Get the tractor on it.
[The shuttle shakes.]
PAUL
Tractor beam. Now what do we do?! We can't tow them. Not if we want to
get into orbit!
[Shasti thinks.]
SHASTI
Does anyone have a stylus and a piece of paper?
[A puzzled worker hands her the cargo checklist and a short writing
implement. Shasti quickly scribbles, drawing geometric figures,
numbers, and unintelligible symbols. At last, she snaps her fingers.]
I THOUGHT so! Paul, head on this course, full thrusters!
[Paul reads her note. He stares in disbelief.]
PAUL
This is a parabolic course! We do this at full thrusters, we'll just
plummet back to the surface! Unless...
[He brightens up.]
I get it! But what makes you think they'll let us tow them?
[The _Lonely_Heart_:]
NENE
They're accelerating. Boy, they must be really desperate.
DAPHNE
I wonder...
NENE
Full reverse and braking flaps?
DAPHNE
No. Let's see where they're trying to go. Can't do any harm. They'll be
out of fuel by the time they get there.
[Onboard the shuttle, the crew watches as the sky turns from blue to black.]
PAUL
Reaching coordinates in 5... 4... 3... 2... 1... Now!
[He flips a switch on a box bolted to the console.]
[As Daphne and Nene watch, space goes orange. The planet behind them
vanishes. In front of them, an enormous space cruiser materializes and puts
a tractor beam on the shuttle. Then it begins firing.]
[On the bridge of the _Lovely_Angel_, Kei and Yuri follow the action as they
power up the ship.]
KEI
What do you mean "they vanished"?!
YURI
They're gone from the scanners. I'm trying all the bands, but they're not
there anymore.
KEI
No explosion?
YURI
Nope.
KEI
That's not possible, unless... But I thought Shasti didn't have half-warp.
YURI
Wait! They're back. But... there's no shuttle.
[Kei gets on the comm.]
KEI
_Lovely_Angel_ to _Lonely_Heart_! _Lovely_Angel_ to _Lonely_Heart_, please
respond!
YURI
Kei, we gotta get up there! I can't read any power on board the _Lonely_
Heart_, and its orbit is decaying *really* fast!
[The _Lovely_Angel_ takes off and fires its thrusters. It reaches the
_Lonely_Heart_, which has been severely damaged and drifts out of control.]
KEI
We can't take it down like this. We'll have it pull it into a stable orbit.
[The _Lovely_Angel_ accelerates, gaining altitude, until the two ships are
safely orbiting Bydon.]
KEI
I still can't reach them.
YURI
The docking port's intact. I'll hook us up.
[Gravity is out on the _Lonely_Heart_, and the Angels have to brush debris
out of the air as they enter. Kei and Yuri head for the bridge, where they
are horrified by what they see:
Daphne floats lifeless through the air, her neck twisted at an abnormal
angle. Nene slumps at the console, held down by the interface cables
plugged into her head, blood floating in pools around her ears, nose and
mouth. She is muttering.]
NENE
217... 148... 524... 217... 148...
-- END STAGE FIVE --
NEXT >>> "Shasti is a vicious killer because she was programmed to be
one. What's your excuse?"
------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Comments? Larry and Ryan would love to read 'em!
Larry (original idea, plot, formatting, and illustrations)
is at "lrmann@uci.edu"
Ryan (plot, script)
is at "mathews1@ix.netcom.com"
[ILLUSTRATION AVAILABLE]
------------------------------------------------------------------------
The Dirty Pair (and Company)
in
R E U N I O N S
by
Larry Mann and Ryan Mathews
------------------------------------------------------------------------
"We have a nasty tendency to forget that artificial
intelligence, especially above Level 3, is quite capable
of attaining a personality framework which is just as
dynamic as any human personality. Attaining this, these
A.I.s essentially attain humanity, and by rights should
be treated as humans in accordance with UG laws concerning
sentient rights."
- Dr. Quevas T. Kueblestein, Ph.D.
(WWWA Sciences Vice-Director) on the
subject of artificial intelligence
-----------------
S T A G E S I X
-----------------
14:43:39
Anavel Municipal Hospital
[Scene: Kei, Yuri, Darryn, Rumiko, and Andrew sit anxiously in a
waiting room. A doctor enters through a doorway, wearing a solemn
expression.]
DOCTOR
I'm sorry.
[They react in various ways: sad sighs, disappointed looks. Yuri
begins to stare at the floor.]
DOCTOR
We did everything we could, but the hemmoraging was too severe.
Whatever it was that hit her burst 35% of the capillaries in her
brain. That she hung on as long as she did is nothing short of
astounding.
[A dejected taskforce leaves the waiting room and exits the hospital.]
RUMIKO
I thought we could at least save Nene. To lose both of them...
DARRYN
And this was only their fifth mission.
[The group leaves the hospital and finds themselves face-to-face
with a crowd of reporters.]
REPORTER #1
Is it true that Daphne is dead?
REPORTER #2
And has her killer escaped?
KEI
No comment! Let us through!
REPORTER #3
Ah, Kei! You and Yuri make up the so-called "Dirty Pair", correct?
[Yuri looks up, her expression one of utter hatred.]
Isn't this tragedy just one more example of the string of alleged
accidents that follow the two of you everywhere?
YURI
Shut up.
REPORTER #3
Don't you think it's time an investigation was order? Before anymore
innocents have to perish thanks to your--!
YURI
SHUT UP, YOU BASTARD!!
[Yuri jumps on the reporter, knocking him down.]
You think I don't care?! Daphne was my friend, you son of a BITCH!
[Kei pulls her to her feet.]
KEI
Yuri, c'mon! Get a grip!
[Yuri stares at the reporter for a second, then turns and
runs off.]
Yuri! YURI!
[Kei runs after her.]
REPORTER #3 [to a cameraman:]
That was great! Did you get that?
[Rumiko turns to face Andrew.]
RUMIKO (angrily)
I hope you're satisfied.
=============================================================================
A.D. 213504.17; 10:00:00
Planet Elenore, WWWA Central Headquarters
"I hope you're satisfied."
Andrew squirmed. He thought he'd prepared himself for the meeting
with Ayoob. He had even planned to go on the offensive, since there
were a ton of questions he wanted answered. But now that he was here,
Andrew couldn't help feeling like a grade-school student being
reprimanded by the principal.
To say Ayoob had not been pleased would have been the understatement
of the century. Andrew had never seen the man so angry, though he had
always believed him capable of it. Andrew had hoped Ayoob would cool off
before the meeting, and he had, but it was obvious the man was still
seething beneath the surface.
"Shasti will need to be in intensive chemical therapy for days.
The premature emergence of her Warrior personality caused a massive
hormone imbalance. If it had been any more serious, she could have
suffered permanent brain damage."
Andrew straightened a bit. So that was what had caused her
outburst. "Sir, if you had told me about this Warrior personality
before, I would never have--"
"Never have disobeyed direct orders and taken her off the
premises?! Dammit, what the hell were you thinking?!"
"I was thinking that Shasti was a lonely little girl in the body
of an adult woman. I was thinking that my analysis of her mental
development couldn't possibly be complete without seeing how she
interacts with real people!"
Ayoob didn't respond, so Andrew pressed on. "You should have seen
her! She was having the time of her life."
"This is all quite irrelevant."
"Well, what *is* relevant? I mean, what the hell do you want me to
do?"
"You know damn well what we want you to do. Observe Shasti, take
notes, and give us your professional opinion. That's all."
Andrew stood up. "You want my professional opinion? Okay, here it
is. This whole thing stinks like shit. You create this woman from
scratch, possibly the greatest achievement in the history of
bioengineering, and then none of you bothers to take the time to get
to know her! You're planning to turn her into one of your agents; that
much is obvious from her behavior yesterday. But is she going to get a
choice? I doubt it.
"Shasti is a brilliant, kind, strong girl who could be the greatest
employee you idiots have ever had, if you'd just start treating her
like a human being!"
Ayoob glared at him.
"You want me to do my job, fine," Andrew continued, "but you're
going to have to give me the information I need to do it. I want to
know about this Warrior personality, as well any other personalities
that may be hiding in her head. I want complete writeups on her mental
design--"
"That won't be necessary."
"I'm afraid it is."
"No it isn't. And neither are you. Your position is terminated."
Andrew blinked, stunned. "You can't be serious."
"I haven't been more serious in my entire career."
"But... But you can't fire me now! She needs me!"
"Shasti needs you like she needs a hole in her head. It's pretty
damn obvious you've gotten too attached to her. Your continued presence
would just be distracting. Besides, we'll be releasing her to the
Academy in a few months. Your work is more or less completed anyway."
Andrew stared at him, still in a state of shock. "S-sir, I beg you
to reconsider--"
"We'll want you off the premises by five this afternoon. Now, if
you'll excuse me, I have another appointment."
Andrew walked the corridors on the way to the medical facilities,
still in a daze. He couldn't believe they would fire him. He wasn't
worried about his own career. He'd saved enough from this job to relocate,
if necessary. No, it was Shasti. He still didn't know how he was going to
tell her.
As he made his way to her room, he was grateful not to be stopped
by security. He was certain Ayoob didn't want him here.
A nurse let him into Shasti's room. Andrew swallowed hard when he
saw her. She looked awful. "Chemical therapy" obviously meant drugging
her to the gills. Her skin was pale, and puffy dark circles ringed her
eyes. When she saw Andrew, she smiled, but weakly.
"Andy. Hi."
"Hi, Shasti. How are you feeling?"
"Oh, I'm getting by." She coughed. "They say I'll be outta here
in a few days. Uh, I wanted to say I was sorry for scaring you."
My god, thought Andrew. She's worried about *me*. He sat down
in a chair next to the bed. "Don't you worry about that. It wasn't
your fault. Tell me, how much do you remember?"
"All of it. But, it's like I was a different person, you know.
Weird."
Andrew decided to get it over with. "Shasti, I don't know how to
say this, so I'm just going to say it. They fired me."
Shasti's eyes went wide. "What?!" She started to sit up, but
Andrew gently pushed her back down.
"It was my fault. I should never have taken you outside like that,
at least not without clearing it with Ayoob first."
"No! No no no! You can't leave me! Not now!" Shasti started to
cry.
"Shasti, it's okay."
"No! No, it's not! I'm scared, Andy! What if I do it again?
Only what if this time I don't just kill bad guys?!"
"That won't happen. Trust me."
"Don't go! Please don't go!"
Andrew saw the nurse peek in through the window, alerted by the
commotion. He took Shasti's hand and stroked it. "Shasti, it's going
to be okay. You're strong, remember? You can get through this."
"I'm strong because of you! You were always there for me."
"Well, you're going to have to get by without me for a few months."
Shasti bit her lower lip.
A thought occurred to Andrew. "Let me give you something." Andrew
reached into his jacket and pulled out a business card and a pen and
scribbled down an address and a phone number. He handed it to Shasti.
"Eventually, they'll have to give you some freedom, if they want you to
do your job. When they do, here's where you can get in touch with me."
Shasti read it and smiled at him. "Thank you, Andy."
"Ayoob doesn't like me very much, so you'd better memorize that and
get rid of it."
Shasti handed the card back to him. "I've already memorized it."
"Think you can survive now?"
Shasti nodded.
"Good." He took her hand. "Now, gimme a good squeeze. OW!"
Shasti giggled. Andrew leaned over and kissed her on the forehead.
He stood up. "I'll see you later, okay?"
"Okay."
As he walked out of the room, Shasti called to him. "I love you,
Andy."
Andrew looked back. "I love you, too."
=============================================================================
15:23:00
Ekana Interstellar Spaceport
[The Lovely Angels and NightRiders are on the bridge of the _Lovely_
Angel_, huddled around a monitor.]
YURI
I don't wanna see this.
DARRYN
None of us do, but we need to know. Play the file.
[Yuri hits a control, and the bridge of the _Lonely_Heart_ appears
on the screen. Out the main viewport can be seen Shasti's shuttle,
connected to the much larger ship by a tractor beam.]
NENE
Their acceleration is decreasing.
DAPHNE
I'm not surprised. They must have exhausted their fuel by now. WHA--?!
[Space shifts from black to orange, and a large space cruiser
materializes in front of them.]
Oh, no.
[The cruiser begins firing. The Lonely Hearts scream as the ship
shakes violently around them. Lights on the bridge flicker.]
DAPHNE
NENE!! RETURN FIRE!!
NENE
I can't! They hit the main power generator!! Weapons and engines both
off-line! Re-routing back-up--AAAH!!
[The ship shakes again. Daphne begins floating out of her chair.]
Hull breach aft!! Gravity's gone!! The inertial compensators, too!!
[Nene sees Daphne floating and panics.]
DAPHNE!! MY GOD!! GET BACK TO YOUR SEAT BEFORE--!!
[Daphne struggles madly to get back to her seat, but the ship is hit
again. This time Daphne is thrown violently across the bridge and
connects with the far wall. She rebounds, leaving a bloody spot, and
floats back, limp and lifeless.]
NENE
DAPHNEEEEE!!! Ohmygod! Ohmygod! I don't know what to do!
[The cruiser apparently decides the _Lonely_ Heart_ is no longer a
threat and begins to accelerate away. Nene begins working madly
with the console.]
NENE
Almost there. Almost there. C'mon c'mon c'mon... YES!! I--oops!
[A gun turret on the cruiser swings back around.]
Oh shit.
[The turret fires once.]
GURRGGLH--!!
[Blood sprays out of every orifice in Nene's head. She goes limp
and begins mumbling.]
148... 524... 217... 148...
[Yuri stops the tape.]
YURI
They were like that when we found them.
DARRYN
She forgot to put her restraints on. (sigh) Rookie mistake. I keep
telling them not to pair rookies with rookies, but--
YURI
Look, don't criticize her, okay? She's dead, isn't that enough?
DARRYN
Yuri, I'm sorry...
KEI
Well, one thing's for sure. That was definitely the half-warp effect.
I'd know it anywhere.
RUMIKO
Why would Shasti go around mind-raping people with half-warp knowledge if she
already had it? It makes no sense.
KEI
I didn't say it did. But I can't deny what's right in front of my eyes.
DARRYN
What was Nene doing? Any ideas?
YURI
Hacking into the cruiser's computers. They must have found out and
put a stop to it.
DARRYN
What did she find out?
YURI
No idea. The _Heart_'s computer logs were fried by the overload. The
only clue is those numbers she was mumbling.
RUMIKO
There were three different numbers, right? Probably spatial
coordinates.
YURI
I'll check the navigation database.
ANDREW
Excuse me.
[All turn to look uneasily at Andrew, who has wandered onto the bridge.]
DARRYN
You're confined to quarters, remember?
ANDREW
I just want to know what will be done with me.
DARRYN
A police escort will soon be arriving. They'll take you to the
spaceport where a 3WA ship will take you into custody.
ANDREW
And then...?
DARRYN
And then you'll be taken to Elenore to stand trial.
[Andrew is silent for a moment. Then a bitter smile spreads across
his face.]
ANDREW
Trial? On what charges? Protecting a woman from being gunned down in
cold blood?
KEI
That wasn't a woman you saved, you bastard! It was a vicious killer.
She's already responsible for hundreds of deaths on this planet alone!
God only knows what she did before we caught up to her! How many more
are gonna die because of you?!
ANDREW
Shasti's a vicious killer because she's programmed to be one. What's
your excuse?
KEI
Why you shit-eating son-of-a-BITCH!
[The others grab at her, but miss, and Kei attacks Andrew and
pins him against the wall.]
ANDREW
Oh, please! Beat me up! Kill me, even! That's what you 3WA
monsters do best, isn't it? Destroy property and lives?
[Kei pulls her fist back.]
YURI
Kei, NO!
DARRYN
Let the courts handle it!
[Reluctantly, Kei drops him.]
ANDREW
I'll return to my quarters. Wouldn't want to spoil any more of your
fun. If any of you feel the urge to throw someone out an airlock,
you know where I'll be.
[Andrew leaves.]
DARRYN
I'll be glad to be rid of him.
YURI
It may be too early for that.
[All turn to look at her.]
The numbers Nene was mumbling *are* spatial coordinates. They're in
the Ariake system.
RUMIKO
Ariake? Yuck, what a pisshole.
YURI
Not only that, it was one of *Lord Robin's* pissholes.
[She turns to the others.]
Look, Andrew hates our guts. He's moody, unpredicatable, and now a
traitor. Nonetheless, he's the only one of us to have successfully
predicted Shasti's whereabouts. Are you sure you want to give that up?
[Silence.]
RUMIKO
As nauseous as it makes me to admit it, you do have a point.
YURI
Besides, I have to work out the details, but I think I know a way to
use him.
------
17:30:00
[The _Lovely_Angel_ lifts off, accelerates away from Bydon, and warps
out.]
[Yuri sits at a observation port, staring moodily out into space.
Rumiko approaches and sits beside her.]
RUMIKO
How ya doing?
YURI
Fine. No, that's a lie. I'm still pretty shaken...
RUMIKO
Was Daphne that good of a friend?
YURI
Well, not like Kei is, but a good one, yeah. It's just the thought of
having her, then losing her, then getting her back, being so happy, only
to lose her again. It's so unfair.
[She pauses.]
You know, I just can't shake the feeling that Shasti's out there
somewhere, laughing at us. She must think we're complete idiots, and
right now, I don't think I could argue the point very well. I'm sorry,
I'm really shitty company right now...
RUMIKO
No, I'm sorry. I'll leave you alone.
[She pats Yuri on the back and starts to get up.]
YURI
No, wait.
[She grabs Rumiko by the arm.]
Could we just talk for awhile? I think I need to.
[Rumiko sits back down.]
RUMIKO
Sure. Tell me about Lord Robin.
YURI
That's not what I meant.
RUMIKO
Sorry. It's just that I'd like to know more about the man who was
responsible for me almost getting killed by a fellow trouble consultant.
I've heard you fell in love with him.
[Yuri glares at her.]
YURI
I'm gonna kill Kei.
RUMIKO
Hey, I didn't hear it from her!
YURI
The rumor had to start somewhere.
[Yuri takes a breath.]
No, I didn't fall in love with him. But I might have, if we'd spent
more time together.
RUMIKO [shocked]
Yuri! The man killed--!
YURI
Over fifty billion people, I know. But you never met the man. To meet
him casually was to be terrified of him. But once you got to know him,
once he let his guard down for you, he was, like, a completely different
man. All that insanity, it was just an act. He was so... gentle.
RUMIKO
Gentle? First time I've ever heard that word used to describe him.
YURI
He explained everything to me. How he had been the elected leader of
Serpiens Seven.
[Rumiko's eyes go wide as she recognizes the name.]
How the United Galactica had stood by and done nothing as his world
obliterated itself in a civil war. How he decided to roam the galaxy,
bestowing the same gift of destruction on other UG fringe worlds, until
those worlds realized the UG couldn't or wouldn't protect them and
formed their own union.
[Pause.]
The thing was, he was right! No real action was taken until Cindy, who
had fallen in unrequited love with Lord Robin, decided to prove her love
for him by killing as many of her fellow trouble consultants as she
could. *Then* Kei and I were sent on our mission.
[Yuri laughs bitterly.]
Listen to me. Here I am, defending a mass-murderer. I sound like
Andrew.
RUMIKO
I don't know. Lord Robin was a mass-murderer, but at least you knew
where he stood. Shasti was a traitor.
YURI
What was she like? Before we met her, I mean. Before everything
started to go wrong.
RUMIKO
I liked her at first, once I got used to her. She was strong, single-
minded, and someone you could count on, or at least she seemed so at the
time. She seemed so bitter, though.
YURI
Bitter?
RUMIKO
Yeah. She sort of felt that the 3WA had stolen something from her, a
normal life, I guess. And you really couldn't blame her. She didn't
have to take it out on Deirdre and you, though. It wasn't your fault.
Any chance of me feeling sorry for her went out the window when she
turned criminal.
YURI
And a damned good criminal, too. I hope we get her this time.
RUMIKO
You and me both.
[Asteroids begin to drift past the starfield.]
Oh, shit. We've entered the Gauntlet.
YURI
"The Gauntlet"?
RUMIKO
You've never been to Ariake, have you?
YURI
No. I just read the files on it.
RUMIKO
"The Gauntlet" is the affectionate term for the asteroid belt in this
system. You have to pass through it, unless you want to go far out of
your way. The rocks hide all kinds of nasty creeps. If we're lucky,
the ones we encounter will just want a toll.
YURI
How can you be sure we'll be attacked?
RUMIKO
I'd feel insulted if we weren't. C'mon, we better get to the bridge.
[The bridge: Kei sits at the pilots seat, guiding the _Lovely_Angel_
between the asteroids. Darryn sits at a scanning station behind her.]
DARRYN
Nothing yet.
KEI
Good. Let's hope it stays that way.
DARRYN
Trust me, there's little hope of that.
[Yuri and Rumiko arrive.]
YURI
Hi! We miss anything?
KEI
Not yet. Sit down.
[Yuri takes the co-pilot's seat.]
Rumiko, the computer station can be converted into an auxiliary weapons
console.
RUMIKO
Got it!
[She sits.]
[The _Lovely_Angel_ continues to thread its way between the rocks.]
DARRYN
Got something! Four targets, converging on our position!
KEI
Lemme see 'em!
[Auxiliary screens above the main canopy window light up to show
the targets: sleek black fighter craft with yellow smiley faces
painted on the wings.]
Aw, shit. F-242s.
RUMIKO
F-whats?
YURI
Lord Robin-fighters. Manueverable as all get out. I watched them
nearly take out a complete squadron of the UG space forces.
[The fighters weave rapidly past the asteroids and begin firing.
The bridge shakes violently.]
YURI
Returning fire!
[The _Lovely_Angel_ strikes out with its laser cannons, but the
fighters evade, swooping behind asteroids for protection, then
coming around for another pass. They fire again, jolting the bridge.]
YURI
AAAGH! Kei, we're in trouble! They're too quick!
KEI
Then we'll have to be quicker!
[She grabs the throttle control and pushes it upward. The
acceleration pushes everyone back into their seats.]
YURI
Kei, what are you doing?! There's no way we can match their
manueverability!!
KEI
What we lack in manueverability, we'll make up in skill. I'll bet you
anything those are just a bunch of scum pirates that Shasti gave those
ships to.
YURI
And if they're Lord Robin's elite pilots?
KEI
Well, then, they'll respect crazy people, won't they?
[She opens up the throttle.]
[The _Lovely_Angel_ zooms through the asteroid field, dodging and
weaving as fast as it can. The F-242s are left behind, but follow.]
KEI
Darryn, help me out. Turn on all the scanners full blast and give
me a map!
DARRYN
That could burn them out.
KEI
Like, it matters?
DARRYN
I see your point.
[Moments later, a three-dimensional map forms in front of one of the
auxiliary screens. Kei briefly looks away from the canopy window to
glance at the map.]
YURI
KEI!!
[The _Lovely_Angel_ nearly collides with an asteroid, but Kei throws
the ship into a tight turn and hits full thrusters. The force throws
the rock backward into a smaller one, which richochets into the path
of one of the fighters. The fighter collides with it and explodes.]
KEI
I meant to do that.
[The remaining fighters converge and fire.]
YURI
Returning fire.
[She fires.]
Dammit! Missed again. They're hiding behind that big one!
RUMIKO
No, they're not.
[Rumiko fires a missile. The asteroid is blasted into countless
pieces which fly into the fighters. An explosion can be seen
through the debris.]
Got one!!
DARRYN
Kei, take a look at the map. We've got a large open area just a few
kilometers to starboard.
KEI
Got it!
[The _Lovely_Angel_ turns tightly. The fighters follow, but all
three craft are soon in an asteroid-free zone. The fighters
quickly realize their predicament and try to retreat back into
the field.]
YURI
Oh no, you don't!
[Yuri fires the laser cannon. One fighter is sliced neatly in half
and vanishes in a fireball.]
DARRYN
Wait! Don't kill the other one! We might get some answers from him.
YURI
Understood. Locking tractor. Get the pilot on the comm, will you,
Darryn?
DARRYN
Pilot of fighter craft, this is the 3WA craft, _Lovely_Angel_.
Surrender and you will come to no harm. Repeat, surrender-- Hold
it. I'm picking up a hyperspace transmission from the craft, but
it's coded.
RUMIKO
That son of a bitch--!
[She fires a missile, and the last fighter is history.]
So much for any element of surprise.
DARRYN
Kei, get us through the Gauntlet. Then we need to have a meeting.
- - -
[In a small briefing room, the four trouble consultants meet around
a table.]
DARRYN
Okay. Shasti knows we're coming. What do we do?
KEI
Look, can't we get the Ariake government involved? I know they're not a
UG world, but surely they can't be happy with a criminal of Shasti's
stature being there, especially with them still getting over Lord Robin.
Maybe we could get them to impose an air-travel ban like on Bydon, and
WHAT'S SO FUNNY??!
[Rumiko stifles her laughter.]
RUMIKO
Ariake doesn't have a government, Kei.
YURI
You really should read the planetary datafiles more often.
DARRYN
It's a complete and total anarchy. There are three rules to follow when
on Ariake: One, don't stay any longer than you have to. Two, if you
have to leave the ship, go armed. Three, when leaving, check for
stowaways.
KEI
Boy. Nice place.
DARRYN
Not only will we have to deal with Shasti and her gang, but any other
punks who decide to take a shot at us. It could be a bumpy ride.
KEI
You know, I just had a weird thought.
YURI [sarcastic]
Oooh, that's a switch.
[Kei shoots her a glare.]
KEI
Maybe this turn of events isn't so bad after all. I mean, once we
get to Ariake, we'll have the whole planet to search. Maybe this
solves our problem. Now we can let her come to us.
RUMIKO
Why would she do that? So far, she's seemed primarily interested in
running away from us.
YURI
There's also that huge cruiser of hers to consider. She could just wipe
us out altogether.
KEI
No, she won't! We have something she wants!
[The others looked confused, then quickly brighten.]
RUMIKO
Yeaaahh.
DARRYN
Yuri, how badly damaged is the ship?
YURI
Not bad. The hull's a little stressed in spots, and the aft port
thruster will need to be repaired, but it's nothing that'll keep us out
of action.
[Darryn shakes his head.]
DARRYN
No, you're mistaken. There's a serious problem with the warp
stabilization system.
[The bridge: Darryn talks to a disheveled, dirty man in his late
middle-ages while the others look on.]
DARRYN
It needs to be fixed as soon as possible. Not that we don't enjoy your
lovely planet. We just don't plan to stay. Think you can handle it,
Ray?
[Kei whispers to Rumiko.]
KEI
You guys come here often?
RUMIKO
The 3WA works for anyone who'll pay, remember? UG clients get priority,
that's all. I think Darryn was here before I met him, though. He
doesn't talk about it much.
RAY [comm]
Darryn, have I ever failed you? Bring your ship down, I'll fix her up.
Oh--I'll be discreet, as usual.
DARRYN
Actually, I'd rather appreciate it if you weren't discreet.
[Ray blinks.]
RAY [comm]
Are you serious?
DARRYN
Dead serious.
RAY [comm]
Damn. Darryn, I don't know what you're planning, but leave me out of
it. The 3WA isn't too well liked here. If my clients found out I
willingly repaired a 3WA ship--
DARRYN
Who said you did it willingly?
[Ray thinks it over.]
RAY [comm]
It'd cost you big time.
DARRYN
What would you say to two MacPherson MP-50 booster coils?
KEI
HEY! You can't--mmph!
[Rumiko slaps a hand over her mouth.]
RAY [comm]
You mean the new ones? They aren't being released to the public until
the end of the year!
DARRYN
That's them.
RAY [comm]
Sir, you have got yourself a deal. Bring 'er in!
[The ship makes a vertical landing outside a large, but rusty and
weatherbeaten hangar complex. "Complex" may be too complimentary a word, as
it consists of the hangar surrounded by a junkyard. A man guides the ship
into the hangar.]
[Back on board the ship, Andrew argues with Yuri.]
ANDREW
So, I'm a prisoner on this ship?
YURI
Consider yourself lucky. You could be a prisoner on Elenore. In
a real prison.
ANDREW [sarcastic]
Oh, yes, I'm *much* safer here, flying through asteroid fields and
being shot at!
DARRYN
Let him go.
YURI
What?!
DARRYN
If we're lucky, he'll be killed by a mugger before we catch up with him.
[Andrew swallows.]
ANDREW
I--I was just planning to walk around outside.
[He leaves through the hatch.]
DARRYN
That should be all that's necessary.
[Andrew walks out of the hangar, pausing to take a look at the _Lovely_
Angel_.]
ANDREW
I have to admit, she really is something to look at.
[A mechanic strolls up behind him and casually sticks a gun in his
back.]
MECHANIC
Even blink, and you're dead.
[Andrew freezes.]
Now, we're going to walk, calmly, over to my car over there, understand?
[Andrew nods.]
Good. The mistress wants to see you.
[As they leave, Kei notices what's happening, but pretends she doesn't.]
KEI [to herself]
Yes!
-- END STAGE SIX --
NEXT >>> "These poor shitheads out there, they think she's the heir to
Lord Robin. They're all walking dead people."
------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Comments? Larry and Ryan would love to read 'em!
Larry (original idea, plot, formatting, and illustrations)
is at "lrmann@uci.edu"
Ryan (plot, script)
is at "mathews1@ix.netcom.com"
[ILLUSTRATION AVAILABLE]
------------------------------------------------------------------------
The Dirty Pair (and Company)
in
R E U N I O N S
by
Larry Mann and Ryan Mathews
------------------------------------------------------------------------
Voices are calling from inside my head
I can hear them, I can hear them
Vanishing memories of things that were said
They can't try to hurt me now
Taught by the powers that preach over me
I can hear their empty reason
I wouldn't listen, I learnt how to fight
I opened up my mind to treason
- Ozzy Osbourne: "Shot in the Dark"
---------------------
S T A G E S E V E N
---------------------
A.D. 214303.22; 17:42:55
Planet Ariake, Ariake City
[The car containing the captive Andrew drives through the crowded
street of Ariake city, weaving past slower traffic, junked cars and
large piles of trash. Attempting to tail at a discreet distance is
another car containing Kei and Rumiko.]
KEI
Can't you drive any faster? We're losing them.
RUMIKO
*You* try driving around this shit! My god, this whole planet must
be a gigantic slum!
[She pulls around a junked car blocking the lane and just misses
a car going the other way.]
Yow! We should just let them go. The homing device will lead us
to them anyway.
KEI
Deirdre, are you sure she won't find it?
DEIRDRE (KEI)
Well, like, no. With Shasti, you can never be sure of anything.
KEI
So this is just another shot in the dark.
DEIRDRE (KEI)
No, no! I think there's a great chance this will work! I really,
really do, honest! See, the thing about Shasti is that she's smarter
than just about anybody else in the galaxy, and she knows it. She
always expects to outsmart you, so the best way to fool her is to
make her believe she *has* outsmarted you.
KEI
Whatever. As long as it works. I'm sick and tired of being shown
up by that bitch.
[She glares at Rumiko, who's giggling.]
What are *you* laughing at?!
RUMIKO
I'm sorry, it's just a riot watching you talk to yourself.
KEI
I am *not* talking to myself!
RUMIKO [apologetic]
I know, I know!
DEIRDRE (KEI)
I'm sorry if I'm embarassing you, Kei.
KEI
Nah, it's alright. But it's time for you to come out. You're giving
me a headache.
[She pops the Deirdre-plug out of her socket, shakes her head,
and tosses it to Rumiko.]
Here, *you* hang on it for awhile.
RUMIKO
Hey! I'm trying to drive! SHIT!!!
[Rumiko hits the brakes as a beat up car cuts them off. The
two cars collide violently.]
SHIT! SHIT! Wouldn't you just know it!!
[The occupants of the other car, two dangerous-looking young
men, get out and approach. Rumiko leans out the car and
screams at them.]
You assholes! Where the hell did you learn to drive?!
[The two punks walk around to both sides of the trouble consultants'
car and pull guns.]
PUNK #1
Now, is that any way to treat your welcoming committee?
KEI
"Welcoming committee"?
PUNK #2
Yeah, we could tell you lovely ladies weren't from around here.
We thought we'd introduce you to a little "Ariake hospitality"!
PUNK #1
Get out of the car.
[They do.]
Now strip.
RUMIKO
Here?!
PUNK #1
No, we'll go back to my penthouse apartment. Yes, here! Strip!
[Kei and Rumiko remove their outer clothes, revealing trouble
consultant uniforms. The punks blink, their mouths falling open.]
PUNK #1
Oh. You're... You're 3WA. Ah. Well. Why didn't you tell us in
the first place? This changes everything!
PUNK #2
W-we should off them now, man! Before they do anything tricky!
PUNK #1
Are you fucking *crazy*?! Do you know how much money the 3WA has?
There'll be a reward on our dead bodies big enough to get the whole
planet gunning for us!
KEI
Well, do *something*. I'm getting bored.
[The first punk lifts his hands in the air and backs off.]
PUNK #1
It was all a misunderstanding, okay? I'm gone!
[He turns and runs for his life. The other glances after him.]
PUNK #2
Hey! Where you goin', man?! OW!
[Kei grabs his gun hand and bends it back.]
KEI
Oh, don't go just yet!
RUMIKO
Oh, no! Please, show us some of that "Ariake hospitality"!
[She cracks her knuckles. The punk gulps.]
------
17:55:00
Location unknown
[Scene: black]
VOICE
Take off the hood.
[The light flashes in. The vision clears, revealing Shasti, and
the inside of some warehouse, or what used to be one.]
SHASTI
So, Andy. We're re-reunited. Do you have anything to say?
ANDREW
Right now, my mind's a complete blank...
=============================================================================
A.D. 213509.27; 14:35:10
"I just don't know how to thank you, Andrew."
"Please, Mrs. Jasper--"
"No, no, I must say it." The lady leaned across his desk,
eyes wide with gratitude and adulation. "You've turned my life
around! My relationship with my husband has improved a hundred
times since we began having our sessions. Why last night--"
"Thank you so much, Alice." He felt he had to cut her off.
Her descriptions of her marital activities tended to be a lot more
detailed and graphic than they needed to be, and he'd heard enough
for one day. Besides, the session was supposed to have been over
ten minutes ago. "I'm glad to hear how much your marriage has
improved, but you still have a ways to go. I think you should save
your praise until then."
The woman smiled. "Oh, you're so modest."
Five minutes later, he finally got her out the door. Alice
Jasper was a simple case, a woman who had difficulty expressing
negative emotions and bottled them up inside until they exploded
onto whatever poor soul had provided the last straw, usually her
husband. The sessions consisted mainly of him encouraging her to
bitch to her heart's content while giving her advice on how to
handle the situations in question. By all signs, she appeared to
be taking the advice, and was making progress.
Andrew was making progress himself. In the two years since
the 3WA had fired him, there had been some hairy times, but he had
turned it around. His practice wasn't quite a "thriving" one yet,
but it was steady and improving. Mrs. Jasper was one of seven regular
patients. The fees he received from them, plus his irregular patients
and some investments, afforded him a comfortable living.
His new life was coming along quite nicely. So when his old one
called his office, he didn't quite know how to take it.
For a moment. Then he told his secretary to cancel the remainder
of the day's appointments and ran out the door.
Andrew headed down the crumbling stone steps that led from the
back door of his office, down a short hill, to a back road overlooking
a harbor. There standing next to a pay-comm, looking out over the
water, was a woman with long black hair, wearing a knee-length aqua
dress with matching shoes, handbag, and a wide-brimmed hat. He
approached and asked, hesitatingly, "Shasti?"
Shasti turned at the sound of his voice. "Andrew?" Seconds later,
the two were in an embrace.
As she pulled free, Shasti turned slowly to give him a look at
her outfit. "How do I look?"
"Stunning. Absolutely stunning."
"Thanks," laughed Shasti. "This is the very first thing I bought
for myself. I was hoping I bought wisely."
"You did. You really did."
"Oh, Andrew, it's so good to see you again."
"What happened to `Andy'?" he asked, a bit disappointed.
Shasti laughed again. It was a more mature laugh, not the
little-girl near-giggle he remembered, but it still sounded beautiful
to his ears. "Honestly, I always felt you were humoring me by letting me
call you that. Okay, `Andy' it is, then."
Shasti took another look across the harbor. "This is a lovely
place. Do you really work here?"
"Work and live. My apartment is above my office."
"Hmm. Must be nice."
"I like it. If I need to relax, I just go outside for a stroll.
And in my line of work, it's important to relax."
"I'm sorry about calling you in the middle of your work," Shasti said.
"But I don't have that much time--"
Andrew held up a hand to stop her. "Don't say another word."
"We have so much catching up to do. I know!" Shasti whipped out
a debit card. "Let me take you to dinner."
Andrew smiled. "I know just the place."
An hour later, they sat at a table at an outdoor cafe, the
remains of their dinner in front of them.
"That's about it as far as the last two years of my life," said
Andrew. "So tell me what's happened to you."
Shasti sighed. "There's not much to tell, actually. I breezed
through the academy. Hell, I could've tested out, but the higher-ups
wanted me to go through anyway."
"They probably wanted you to get used to interacting with other
personnel."
"Yes, that's what I decided myself. So I turned my energies
toward learning interaction skills. It... didn't go very well. I
scare people, Andy."
"Oh, baloney," replied Andrew.
"Okay, maybe `scare' isn't the right word. But I sure as hell
make them feel inferior."
Andrew pointed out the obvious. "They *are* inferior, Shasti.
They're going to feel that way at first no matter what you do. The
trick is not to make them feel threatened as well. Be patient, and
they'll come around."
Shasti smiled wryly. "Always the psychologist, hm?"
He laughed. "Hey, I can't help it."
"Well, don't worry. I'm not beat yet. Besides, I've made one
friend, at least I think so."
"Oh, really?"
Shasti nodded. "Her name's Deirdre! She's going to be my
partner. You should meet her, Andy! She's just so damn cute! She
like, has this, like, accent, y'know?" she said, doing an impression.
"Plus we have something important in common."
"Similar interests?"
"No, much more important. She's an Intel. In layman's terms,
she has an incredibly powerful microcomputer implanted in her brain.
She can access the computer to help her analyze complex data in a tiny
fraction of the time it would take a human to do it. An ordinary
human, I mean. She's more than human."
"Like you."
"Like me."
They sat in silence for a few seconds.
"The sun's going down," said Andrew. "I'd better be getting
back. I have some paperwork to do before I turn in. Can I see you
tomorrow?"
"N-no," Shasti replied, sadly. "I... ship out tomorrow. On my
first assignment."
"Oh. When will you be back?"
"That depends on how messy the job is. Hopefully, it won't take
longer than a week. Then I get a vacation. It's mandatory."
"Well, maybe I can see you then."
"Maybe..."
Andrew pulled his chair next to hers and sat back down. "Shasti,
what's wrong?"
Shasti gave him a small smile. "The psychologist talking again?"
"No, this time it's obvious."
Shasti paused for a moment. Then she straightened in her chair
and looked him in the eye. "Every time I leave for a mission, there's
a chance I won't come back. There's something I need to know now."
"Is it something I can help with?"
"It's something only you can tell me." She took a deep breath.
"Andy, it's been two years. I need to know-- I need to know if you
still love me."
Andrew was startled. "Of course I do."
"How? I need to know how."
"I don't understand."
"I mean... When we first met, I had the mind of a five-year-old.
But I've grown since then. I'm your age now. I know you loved me as
a daughter. I need to know... if you can love me as a woman." She
choked on the last word and started fumbling through her handbag.
"Damn me. I promised myself I wouldn't cry. Damn me to hell." She
found a handkerchief and dabbed her eyes.
"Shasti, I--" The words caught in his throat. Then he realized he
didn't have any. He struggled, trying to find the words to express his
feelings.
Finally, he gave up and kissed her.
=============================================================================
[Shasti gives Andrew a long, gentle kiss.]
SHASTI [softly]
That was for saving my life.
[She punches him in the face, knocking him down.]
And that was for leaving it without even saying goodbye. Any other
discussion will have to wait. Secure him.
[A man behind Andrew drags him to his feet and handcuffs him
to a pole.]
Search him. You'll find a homing device.
[Another man waves a small rod over Andrew and is rewarded with a
beeping noise. He opens Andrew's jacket, rips open the lining and
finds a small device. He places it on the ground and crushes it.]
ANDREW
I swear to God I didn't know anything about that.
[All ignore him.]
PAUL
Shasti, I hate to have to remind you of this, but we're running late.
SHASTI
I know, I know. He'll have to come along.
NANCE
What?! You're crazy! Can't you just finish your business here and
waste him?!
PAUL
I gotta go with Nance on this one, Shasti.
SHASTI [sarcastically]
Oh, *do* you? If Nance is so worried about Mr. Fisher, he can guard him.
NANCE
Hey!
SHASTI
He couldn't fight his way out of a wet paper bag, Nance. He's just
your speed.
[Shasti steps on top of a large crate.]
OKAY, FOLKS, LISTEN UP!! We're about to do business with the Lucifer
Crime Syndicate! I'd be lying if I said that they trust us, or that
we trust them. But they want what we have and we *need* what they
have. It is imperative that we don't do anything to spook these
people. Ariake is not their standard hangout and they're bound to
be nervous. They are likely to crap out at the first sign of trouble.
The meeting place is being secured by the advance party now. As we
arrive, you are to take your positions and be ready for action, but
do *not* assume a threatening pose. In case any of you are
wondering, ripping these guys off is *not* an option. This is the
Syndicate we're talking about. Even if we pulled it off, we most
likely would not get off Ariake alive. Remember, the _Artemis_
isn't going to be able to provide any help until the engineers finish
their work. So we're going to play this as calm and steady as
possible. Are there any questions?
[Silence.]
Good. MOVE OUT!
-------
18:15:00
[Scene: a massive junkyard. The Lovely Angels and NightRiders sneak
quietly between the massive piles of scrapped vehicles. Yuri checks
a small, palm-held device.]
YURI
Signal's getting stronger. He's definitely headed this way. Seems
you were right, Darryn.
DARRYN
When Ray told me the rumors of something big going down here, I
figured it could be the sale. The various organizations like to use
places like this for making exchanges.
KEI
Seems awfully dangerous. I'd think a wide-open, flat area would make
more sense.
DARRYN
Well, it would, if you could find one. If you can't, the next best
thing is an extremely dangerous place that no one can possibly be
familiar with, because it keeps changing. Nobody dares to make the
first move, because it means an instant bloodbath.
KEI
Mutual Assured Destruction. Lovely.
YURI
We'd better hurry. He's due any minute.
[They begin to climb up one of the piles to gain a better vantage
point. A armed man is near the top, his back to them.]
KEI [whispering]
Hey, someone's taken our spot.
[She pulls a small dart gun out of her boot.]
Nighty-night.
[She fires. Making a quiet "zip" noise, the dart strikes him
in the back of the neck. A moment later he collapses.]
------
18:20:00
[A small party of armed Syndicate men, one holding a briefcase,
face a small convoy that pulls up from the opposite side. As the
convoy, consisting of two cars and a truck, comes to stop, Shasti
exits, accompanied by an armed guard. She walks to the Syndicate
party and extends her hand. The leader looks at it with distaste.]
SYNDICATE LEADER
Let's get on with it.
SHASTI
Very well.
[She snaps her fingers. Men begin unloading the gravity-well
compensator from the truck.]
If you allow me to inspect your merchandise, we can conclude the
transaction.
[The leader nods to the man holding the briefcase. He opens it,
revealing two identical devices.]
LEADER
Two field-picks. One to get you in, one to get you out.
[Shasti points to one of the devices.]
SHASTI
May I?
LEADER
Be my guest.
[Shasti picks the device out of the case and examines it.]
SHASTI
If I may say so, sir, I don't see why you're so suspicious of us. After
all, once you examine the compensator, you'll know exactly what you're
getting. These things, on the other hand, have never been tested in public.
LEADER
Of course not. You know what they do. Once we perfect these devices,
current force-field technology is going to be rendered useless. By
giving you models, we could very well be tipping our hand early. The
result could be improvements in force-field technology that could
defeat our device. We've invested a lot of time and resources into
this just to risk throwing it away. But if that's truly a GWC, we're
willing to risk it.
[Meanwhile, in the rear car, Nance keeps guard on Andrew. He holds
a gun on the man, but in such a loose way that it is obvious he
doesn't consider him a physical threat.]
NANCE
I still can't believe we're dragging you along at such a critical
point. If it was up to me, you'd be dead.
[Andrew doesn't respond, instead continuing to stare out the
windshield.]
What the hell is it between you and Shasti, anyway?
ANDREW
We... had a relationship once.
NANCE
Ha! Figures it would be something like that-- no, what the hell
am I saying?! You and Shasti? Shasti doesn't even have any friends,
much less lovers. How the hell did you win her heart? I didn't think
she had one.
[Without taking his gaze from the scene in front, Andrew asks a
question.]
ANDREW
What's she like?
NANCE
What the hell kind of question is that? You should know better than
I do.
[Finally, Andrew looks at him.]
ANDREW
I don't. I don't know her anymore. I just want... I need to know
what she's like.
[Nance laughs, a low cynical laugh.]
NANCE
Your girlfriend's a dangerous woman, sir. I'd recommend you get as
far away from her as possible, except that I'd gun you down if you
tried it.
ANDREW
How dangerous?
NANCE
Anyone who thinks they've won her friendship or trust is dead as
soon as they're no longer of use to her. Those poor shitheads out there,
they think she's the heir to Lord Robin. They're all walking dead people.
They just haven't fallen down yet. But they will, damn soon.
ANDREW
That's not possible.
NANCE
Hey, you asked.
[Andrew becomes nervous and begins fidgeting with the buttons on his
jacket.]
ANDREW
Do you have any proof of this or are you just an incredible judge
of character?
[Nance thinks a moment.]
NANCE
We used to have two ships. The second one blew up. It was a problem
with the warp controller, caused this feedback or something, made the
engines detonate like a bomb. I'm no engineer, so I can't prove it
wasn't an accident. But it sure happened at an opportune time. We'd
finished the first stage, the stage we needed the most people for.
Equipment and personnel gathering, repairs, shit like that. Once that
was done, we didn't really need half the people we had. The half we
didn't need just happened to be assigned to the second ship. On
Shasti's orders.
ANDREW
That doesn't prove anything.
NANCE
It does to me. Besides, the girl's got a rep. On that Lyra caper the
Dirty Pair screwed up, she left a trail of bodies stretching halfway
across the UG. The word in the underworld is "stay the hell away".
ANDREW
Then why are you here?
NANCE
Because this caper's too incredible to pass up. Besides, I'm not
afraid of her. She already knows what I think of her. And she needs
me right up to the very end.
ANDREW
What *is* this caper, anyway?
[Nance laughs.]
NANCE
What makes you think I'm going to answer that?
ANDREW [muttering]
Good Lord. I knew they'd made a killer out of her but this... What
the...?
[One of Andrew's buttons has come apart. A small device
falls out.]
What's this?
[Nance goes pale.]
NANCE
Oh, God. A second transmitter. Oh, Christ. They're here! They must
already be here!!
[He bolts from the car.]
[Cut to the Angels' and NightRiders' view of the meeting. Kei sees
Nance running pell-mell toward Shasti, screaming.]
KEI
Damn it!
[She aims her rifle.]
YURI
Wha--?! Kei, wait!
[Kei fires. Luckily for Nance, he trips on a rock and goes sprawling
as the rifle beam whizzes over him. Unluckily for everyone, the
beam continues forward and kills the Syndicate leader's lieutenant.]
LEADER
IT'S A SET-UP!!
SHASTI
Huh?? Wait!!
[The Syndicate men pull their guns and begin firing. Shasti's men
return fire, and in an instant the junkyard is turned into a war zone.]
[The Lovely Angels and NightRiders watch the chaos in dismay.]
KEI
Oh, man. I really screwed up this time.
YURI
You won't get any argument from me.
KEI
Look at the bright side. Maybe she'll get killed.
DARRYN
I doubt that. She's in her element.
RUMIKO
Darryn, I'm going to look for a better shot. This may be our chance
to use the tranquilizer plug.
YURI
I'll call Mughi for an air strike.
[Shasti weaves her way back to safer ground, using her own men for
cover. She joins Paul behind the safety of a junked truck.]
PAUL
What the fuck happened?!
SHASTI [furious]
I don't know. But you can be damn sure I'm going to find out.
Status report!
PAUL
We lost five men. There's no way to tell if they're dead or just
wounded.
SHASTI
It's irrelevant anyway. That's all that matters.
[She points to the case containing the field-picks, which,
along with the gravity-well compensator, is now in a
no-man's land in the center of the battlefield.]
We can't leave without them.
[She motions to one of her men.]
Baker! Time for you to show me what you're made of.
BAKER
S-sir?
SHASTI
Don't worry, we'll cover you. Go!
[She pushes him out. They do attempt to provide cover, but
it's no use. There are too many enemy shooters, and they
are too spread out. Seconds later, Baker is dead, his body
torn apart by gunfire.]
Shit!
PAUL
Shasti, I hate to be the one to break it to you, but--
SHASTI
I know! I'm the only one here capable of grabbing that case and
making it back in one piece. Alright, then! Cover me! Like it'll
make any difference.
[Kei and Yuri wait anxiously.]
KEI
What's keeping Mughi? The Lovely Angel can't be more than five
minutes away.
YURI
Put Deirdre in. If there was ever a time when we needed her advice...
KEI
You've got a point.
[She fishes in a pocket, comes up with a microplug, plugs it
in behind her ear, and passes out.]
YURI
Kei? Kei!
[She shakes Kei, getting no response.]
KEI!!
[A look of realization spreads across Yuri's face, followed by
one of terror.]
Oh, no. OH, NO!!
[She starts running after Rumiko.]
Rumiko!! RUMIKO!!
PAUL
Okay... NOW!!
[Shasti bolts into the open, weaving and dodging her way through enemy
fire. Within seconds, she reaches the case.]
[Rumiko takes aim.]
RUMIKO
This is it, you bioroid bitch. This is finally it...
[She activates the SharpShot program. Her vision zooms in on
Shasti's interface socket. The socket is outlined in red with
the message "TARGET LOCKED". Yuri comes climbing up the pile
of junk.]
YURI
Rumiko! DON'T SHOOT!!
RUMIKO
Say good night, Gracie...
[She fires.]
[The plug finds its mark. Shasti freezes like a statue, her look one
of absolute astonishment.]
SHASTI
N-n-nnnnnnNNNNNNNOOOOOOOOOOO!
[She pulls the plug out and throws it away, then grabs her
head in pain and rolls on the ground.]
[Rumiko looks on, surprised.]
RUMIKO
It didn't work!
YURI
That wasn't the trank plug.
[Shasti lies on the ground, motionless. Apparently thinking her dead, the
snipers ignore her.]
PAUL
Shasti! SHASTI!!
[He tries running to her, but is immediately forced back by
gunfire.]
Damn! What's wrong with her?
[The _Lovely_Angel_ arrives and drops bombs, causing the opposing
armies to scatter. Paul darts out and grabs the case. He begins
to run back, but changes his mind and grabs Shasti.]
PAUL
C'mon, damn it! Move!
SHASTI [muttering]
I'm sorry. I'm so sorry. Please forgive me.
PAUL
I forgive you, just *move* your ass!
SHASTI
I didn't want to kill you...
-- END STAGE SEVEN --
NEXT >>> "I say blow 'em to hell. If they don't survive, they don't
deserve to."
------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Comments? Larry and Ryan would love to read 'em!
Larry (original idea, plot, formatting, and illustrations)
is at "lrmann@uci.edu"
Ryan (plot, script)
is at "mathews1@ix.netcom.com"
------------------------------------------------------------------------
The Dirty Pair (and Company)
in
R E U N I O N S
by
Larry Mann and Ryan Mathews
------------------------------------------------------------------------
"In the back of my mind, I always wonder if, somewhere
underneath all that insanity that controlled him, there was
actually a decent person. I wonder if, somewhere, there was
still someone who was capable of loving someone else..."
- from a report by WWWA Agent Yuri (#234-Y,
Lovely Angel) after the Lord Robin affair
---------------------
S T A G E E I G H T
---------------------
18:30:00
[A now battered caravan races away from the junkyard, now a smoking
wasteland from the gunfire and the _Lovely_Angel's_ missiles. In the
lead car, Paul holds a near-unconscious Shasti in the back seat. Her
eyes stare sightlessly ahead.]
[Fade to chaos. Formless, shapeless. Half-formed images float aimlessly,
some gaining coherence, some losing it, forming connections with others,
breaking apart. Through this maelstrom walks a human form, only partly
visible. Suddenly, a female arm manifests, grabs the human, and
violently pulls her out.
Deirdre sits on the cold, hard surface, examining herself with
curiosity. She looks up to see Shasti, dressed in a combat uniform.
Shasti grabs her by the neck, lifts her off her feet, and squeezes.
Deirdre struggles against the hand, but it's useless. Then another voice
is heard, pleasant and friendly:]
VOICE
Now, Warrior! Don't be rude! Is that anyway to treat a guest?
[The new arrival is another Shasti, this one attired in a tasteful blue
dress with matching pumps.]
WARRIOR
Back off, bitch.
SOCIAL
(sigh) I am so disappointed in you! But then, you never did have any
manners. Now, let go of her. The Central Mind will want to meet her.
WARRIOR
The Central Mind knows what I'm doing.
SOCIAL
Yes, but I don't think she's paying attention right now. Come now, be
a good girl and drop her. You wouldn't want the Central Mind to get
angry with you, would you? Besides, you're embarrassing me.
[The Warrior thinks it over, then drops her. Deirdre gags and coughs.
The Social one strolls over and helps her up.]
SOCIAL
There, that's better. I'm so sorry for the rude welcome. When you arrived,
you caused a bit of a mess and we overreacted. I hope you won't hold it
against us.
DEIRDRE
You both look exactly like Shasti. Am I, like, inside her mind?
SOCIAL [sincere]
Oh, you're so clever! That's exactly right!
DEIRDRE
But, like, that doesn't make sense. I'm encoded on a micro-plug. I'm only
supposed to be able to interface with the motor area of the brain, y'know?
SOCIAL
The plug's gone, I'm afraid to say. We pulled it out. I think it got
crushed in the mayhem. But one of our functions is to automatically upload
software for future use, so here you are! Isn't that great?
DEIRDRE
Then... I'm, like, just a copy of the original?
SOCIAL
Well... Not *just* a copy. A perfect copy! Like the plug was a perfect
copy of the flesh-and-blood you.
[snaps her fingers]
I almost forgot! We haven't been properly introduced! I'm the Social
Personality, this is the Warrior, and you are?
DEIRDRE
Deirdre. Deirdre Voxx.
SOCIAL
I *knew* you looked familiar.
[to the Warrior:]
Now, aren't you glad you didn't destroy her?
WARRIOR
Yeah. Glad. Now can we please get out of this place? If I have to be
bored, I'd rather not have to listen to you at the same time.
SOCIAL
(sigh) You're so cruel sometimes. Very well. Let's go meet the others.
[A door opens into a central chamber. The area is well-lit but
featureless, save for a satin sofa and what appears to be computer
terminal-station, a desk with both a seat and a set of monitors and
controls built in. Two more Shasti's are seen, one in lingerie reclining
on the sofa, and one in a business skirt, white shirt and tie, large
glasses, her hair pinned up. Neither show any initial interest in
Deirdre's arrival.]
SOCIAL
Hi, everyone! Look who I've brought! It's our old partner, Deirdre Voxx!
[That gets everyone's attention. The two Shasti's get up and walk over
for a closer look.]
Deirdre, I'd like to introduce the Seductress and the Detective.
DETECTIVE
I must say, this distresses me. Even a brief analysis indicates bringing
Deirdre here to be a mistake. The reasons we terminated her life still
apply.
WARRIOR
Just say the word.
[Deirdre sweats.]
DEIRDRE
Uhh...
SOCIAL
Oh, please don't say such rude things! Can't you treat her like a guest?
I'm sure Deirdre will behave herself, won't you, Deirdre?
DEIRDRE
O-of course.
SEDUCTRESS
Well, I for one am *very* glad you're here, Deirdre. If there's anything I
can do to make your stay more...
[She runs a gentle hand along Deirdre's shoulder.]
..pleasurable, let me know.
DEIRDRE (nervous)
Uh, heh-heh, I'll do that...
VOICE
D-Deirdre?!
[Deirdre turns around to find a fifth Shasti, one dressed much like a
teenager: jeans, sneakers, and a striped shirt.]
SOCIAL
Deirdre, this is the Central Mind.
CENTRAL
DEIRDRE!!
[She gives Deirdre a big hug. After a moment's surprise, Deirdre hugs
back.]
Deirdre, I'm so sorry. I didn't want to kill you, I really didn't!
DEIRDRE
Then why did you?
CENTRAL
He said it was important not to leave any witnesses, if I was going to
disappear.
DEIRDRE
Who's "he"?
CENTRAL
My friend LaCombe! I'll introduce you to him. He's right over there.
[Deirdre looks where the Central Mind is gesturing. Standing there is a man,
unshaven, hair unkempt, wearing a leather jacket. He glares at her.]
------
18:32:00
_Lovely Angel_
[Onboard the _Angel_, Kei and Yuri look over the Gravity Well Compensator.]
KEI
I guess it's undamaged. I don't know how to tell.
YURI
It only received glancing blows, nothing that pierced the metal. But you're
right, there's no way to tell without getting it back to a 3WA lab and
letting them hook it up to a diagnostic computer.
[Yuri winces and presses her temple.]
KEI
Headache?
YURI
Yeah. Don't worry, it's just stress, that's all.
KEI
I know what you mean. What Darryn and Rumiko are doing, it's our last
chance, isn't it?
YURI
Pretty much. If that cruiser gets away again, I don't see how we can track
it.
KEI
I'm sorry. I guess I really screwed things up this time.
YURI
Don't blame yourself, Kei. It's not in your nature.
KEI
Well, I gotta blame someone...
------
18:33:00
PAUL
Shasti? Shasti!
[Shasti opens her eyes to find herself lying on a bench in a cramped
space, her head in Paul's lap.]
SHASTI
Wuh... Where am I?
PAUL
Onboard the shuttle. Dammit, woman, what did they do to you? I was
beginning to think you'd never snap out of it!
SHASTI
Some nasty piece of anti-Shasti software the 3WA dreamed up. It didn't work.
[She sits up.]
PAUL (suspiciously)
You sure?
SHASTI (disgusted)
Yes, Paul, I'm sure. Would you like me to kill someone for you?
PAUL
No, thanks. But I'm going to keep an eye on you, if you don't mind.
SHASTI
Don't you always?
[She stands, all business, as does Paul.]
What about the field-picks?
PAUL
As planned. In a way, the Syndicate did us a favor. I've let the crew know
that one of the picks was destroyed.
SHASTI
Good. We need to get off this planet ASAP. If I know the Syndicate, they're
sure to mount some form of retaliatory strike.
PAUL
Understood. We're taking on supplies as we speak. We'll be ready to go in
less than twenty minutes.
SHASTI
Oh, and one other thing. I've heard reliable reports that the _Lovely_Angel_
is being kept in a hangar at a repair shop on the west side of the city.
After last night, I think it would be a good idea to blast the hangar on our
way out. Any delay in their...
[Shasti winces...]
* * *
LACOMBE
Be quiet! Nobody asked for your opinion!
DEIRDRE
Shasti, you can't! You'll kill them!
CENTRAL
So? They're trying to kill me, aren't they?
DETECTIVE
Defense is a logical course of action.
DEIRDRE
But they're not trying to kill you! Their orders are to--
CENTRAL
Take me alive? Turn me over the 3WA? With their needles and lab coats? I'd
rather be killed!
LACOMBE
You tell 'em, babe!
DEIRDRE
Shasti, these people all used to be your friends! Are you that willing to
kill them? Remember how you felt later about killing me?
CENTRAL
You were different. You always accepted me. The Lovely Angels and
NightRiders were always suspicious of me, just like all humans.
DEIRDRE
Maybe if you'd just show some compassion, they wouldn't be so--
CENTRAL
"Compassion" is just a fancy word for letting people walk all over you.
DEIRDRE
Who taught you that? LaCombe?
CENTRAL (angrily)
Hey! Don't badmouth LaCombe! You may not think much of him, but he's shown
me more freedom than I ever knew! He showed me how to break my programming,
how to use my talents to get whatever I wanted. Before he came into my life,
I was nothing but a 3WA slave! So you say whatever you want, but leave
LaCombe alone!
[Deirdre is speechless. LaCombe smiles.]
CENTRAL
Alright, okay, there's enough doubt about this to put it to a vote. Warrior?
WARRIOR
I say blow 'em to hell. If they don't survive, they don't deserve to.
CENTRAL
Seductress?
[From her sofa, the Seductress makes a bored gesture.]
SEDUCTRESS
Whatever. I could care less.
CENTRAL
Detective?
DETECTIVE
As I said, it makes sense to eliminate an established threat.
CENTRAL
Social?
[The Social personality frets, wringing her hands.]
SOCIAL
Well, I just... I don't think it's right...
CENTRAL
Okay, then it's two in favor, one against, with one abstention. We do it.
* * *
PAUL
Shasti?
SHASTI
I'm okay. Still fighting off the effects of that damn plug. Anyway, as I
was saying...
PAUL
Blast the hangar, got it. Just point it out as we fly over.
[A siren goes off.]
Damn. Looks like that retaliatory strike is already on the way.
[The two of them run to the shuttle's tiny bridge.]
HELM
We've picked up a craft heading this way! I haven't gotten a make on it yet,
but it's fuckin' huge and heading straight for us!
SHASTI
We're taking off. Now!
HELM
Understood!
[The shuttle takes off, knocking over the loader that is still loading it
with supplies. The man driving the loader shouts in anger, but is silenced
moments later as the Syndicate ship opens fire, blowing everything in the
area into small pieces.]
HELM
Oh, man! It's a MacPherson XG4 micro-cruiser! We don't have a snowball's
chance in hell!
SHASTI
Silence! We'll have none of that talk! Full power, course bearing thirty-
one point six!
------
18:35:00
[Ray pokes his head into the _Lovely_Angel_'s engine compartment, where Kei
and Yuri are securing the gravity-well compensator.]
RAY
You Kei and Yuri?
KEI
How'd you get in here?
RAY
Darryn lent me the codes. I'm supposed to be repairing it, remember?
Anyway, I came to tell you, there's a nasty aerial rumble headin' our way.
You're welcome to join us in the shelter.
YURI
Shasti and the Syndicate.
KEI
Forget the shelter! We've gotta get the ship airborne, pronto!
RAY
Uh, I don't think that's advisable. I was fiddling around with the warp
stablization system--
YURI
You were *what*?!
RAY
Well, that was the cover story, wasn't it? Don't worry, I didn't actually do
anything, but there are a few engine components that will take an hour or so
to reassemble.
[Kei and Yuri stare at each other, dumbfounded.]
RAY
So, um, shall I show you to the shelters?
------
18:36:00
[The dogfight continues. The shuttle, now within firing range, has to
dodge and swerve to avoid being hit.]
SHASTI
Decrease speed.
HELM
WHAT?!
SHASTI
Slow down, dammit!
[The helmsman gulps and complies.]
There's the hangar. Prepare for a hard turn to port.
[The micro-cruiser approaches and slows.]
Hail them.
HELM
I'll try.
[Seconds later, the Syndicate leader's face appears on the comm-screen.]
LEADER
Giving up, Shasti?
SHASTI
Why are you doing this? We didn't set you up, it was a third party!
LEADER
Be that as it may, you know the field-picks exist. You've held one in your
hand. You can describe it. If that knowledge were to become public
prematurely, it could speed up technological advances that will make the
picks useless. We can't allow that.
SHASTI
Surely we can come to some arrangement?
LEADER
Of course. Give us the gravity-well compensator.
SHASTI
We don't have it.
LEADER
Then I'm sorry.
[The comm-screen goes blank.]
SHASTI
NOW!!
[The shuttle turns hard to port and goes full throttle as the micro-cruiser
fires. The shot just misses and glances off the hangar, reducing it to
rubble. Inside the shelter, Kei, Yuri, and Mughi brace themselves as the
shockwave knocks them around.
The shuttle continues on, flying at low altitude between buildings. The
Syndicate ship continues to fire, but the buildings act as a shield.]
PAUL
What now? We can't keep this up forever.
SHASTI
I don't intend to. When I give the order, I want you head straight for the
Syndicate ship, full throttle.
HELM
No way! You're crazy!
[Shasti sneers, lifts the helmsman out of his seat with one hand, throws
him across the bridge and takes the controls.]
SHASTI
I prefer it this way, anyway. Here we go!!
[The shuttle heads right down the other ships throat, nimbly dodging
oncoming fire. The micro-cruiser is forced to manuever to avoid a
collision.]
Engaging escape velocity boosters, NOW!
[The shuttle heads skyward, its shape drowned by the glare of its
boosters. The crew is pressed into their seats by the G-forces. The
micro-cruiser gives chase.]
They're gaining on us. But not fast enough!
[The shuttle reaches orbit, still being pursued.]
Engaging half-warp assimilation field.
[Nothing happens.]
Uh-oh.
PAUL
Maybe we're in the wrong position?
SHASTI
No, this is where the _Artemis_ is supposed to be. The field generation
system has failed.
PAUL
Then we're done for.
SHASTI
Not yet we aren't. We'll show up as a blip on their gravitational scanners.
They're expecting us. If they've effected repairs...
[The micro-cruiser approaches and draws a bead on the shuttle.]
PAUL
This is it...
[Suddenly, it's there, the _Artemis_, the enormous cruiser that destroyed the
_Lonely_Heart_. One shot, and the micro-cruiser disappears in a fireball.
On board the shuttle, everyone breathes a sigh of relief.]
SHASTI
Okay, once we're aboard, spread the word. I want every available man helping
in engineering. We're behind schedule and we need the _Artemis_ completely
operational within a day. Understood?
[Those on the bridge nod their comprehension.]
PAUL
What about the cargo?
SHASTI
Forget about it. There's nothing in there that can't be dealt with once
we're underway.
------
18:40:00
[In the cargo bay, one of the crates moves, then is violently kicked open
from the inside. A shaken Darryn and Rumiko crawl out.]
RUMIKO
Darryn, first class next time, okay?
-- END STAGE EIGHT --
NEXT >>> "We have eighteen hours to learn where this crate is going."
-----------------------------------------------------------------------------
Comments? Larry and Ryan would love to read 'em!
Larry (original idea, plot, formatting, and illustrations)
is at "lrmann@uci.edu"
Ryan (plot, script)
is at "mathews1@ix.netcom.com"
------------------------------------------------------------------------
The Dirty Pair (and Company)
in
R E U N I O N S
by
Larry Mann and Ryan Mathews
------------------------------------------------------------------------
You've had your fill, I'm all I have left.
What can stop your hunger for power?
'Cos you took advantage of things that I said.
Now the feeling is dead.
And that's the ultimate sin.
- Ozzy Osbourne: "The Ultimate Sin"
-------------------
S T A G E N I N E
-------------------
19:00:00
[On board the _Artemis_, Shasti escorts Andrew to his cell. They arrive
at a door, which Shasti opens with a code. Inside is what appears to
be sparse quarters for a single crewman, with a bed and a place to stow
belongings.]
ANDREW
Not bad for a cell.
SHASTI
It wasn't meant as severe punishment. Lord Robin used these cells for
crewmen who had too much to drink.
ANDREW
It was awfully nice of you to bring me here yourself. I would've have
thought you'd have more important things to do.
SHASTI
Some crewmembers have voiced extreme displeasure at your being on board.
The confinement is as much for your protection as anything else. I
wouldn't want you to meet with an accident.
ANDREW
At least not until you're finished with me, hmm?
[Shasti looks as if Andrew had punched her in the gut.]
SHASTI
Andy...
ANDREW (bitter)
Don't "Andy" me. I know all about your modus operandi. You use people
to get what you want, then kill them so there's no trail.
SHASTI
Nance should learn to keep his mouth shut.
ANDREW
Are you going to kill him?
[Shasti raises a hand to her forehead, as if she had a headache.]
SHASTI
No. No, Andy, I'm not going to kill him. But thanks.
ANDREW (confused)
"Thanks"?
SHASTI
For showing me I can still be hurt. I guess I'm not the "iron woman" I
thought I was. Andy, if I only kept people alive to use them, don't you
think you'd already be dead? What possible use are you to me?
ANDREW
You tell me! *You* kidnapped me!
[Shasti doesn't reply.]
Shasti, I don't want to hurt you. But I don't want to die, either.
Especially not murdered by someone I loved.
SHASTI
What *do* you want?
ANDREW
Let me go.
SHASTI
You know I can't. Not now. Maybe when all this is over.
ANDREW
Why don't I believe you?
SHASTI
(sigh) Believe what you want. In the meantime, Andy... I don't want to
threaten you, but it would be best if you kept these rumors of my
murderous ways to yourself. I can't afford to lose the crew's trust
now.
[Shasti exits and locks the door.]
------
19:02:00
Shasti's mind
DEIRDRE
Like, why *are* you keeping Andy around?
CENTRAL
Huh? I don't know for sure. I guess I just want to know where he is.
LACOMBE
You should kill him.
CENTRAL
LaCombe! We've been through this before!
LACOMBE
Yeah? Well, let's go through it again. He's not *doing* anything for
you, girl. Anything which doesn't help you, hurts you. You don't need
him. He's a distraction.
CENTRAL
He used to be my lover!
DEIRDRE
Wow. No one told me that.
LACOMBE
"Love", "friendship". They're illusions at best, liabilities at worst.
Deirdre was a so-called "friend" too, but when the time came for you to
choose between your friendship and your freedom, you did her. Why can't
you show the same strength when it comes to Andrew?
DEIRDRE
I can't believe I'm, like, *hearing* this bullshit!
LACOMBE
*You* stay out of this!
DEIRDRE
Why?! I'm, like, just as much a part of this as the rest of you guys!
Shasti, was it really, like, that easy to blow me away??
CENTRAL
No! It wasn't easy at all! I almost went completely insane! But I had
to do it!
DEIRDRE
Why?!
CENTRAL
Because when the 3WA implanted LaCombe's personality within me, a lot of
things became clear. All of a sudden I knew what I was.
DEIRDRE
Which is?
LACOMBE
A slave. Nothing more, nothing less. A human being owned like a piece
of property.
DEIRDRE [to Shasti:]
But, like, I thought you *liked* being a trouble consultant! I mean,
you sometimes had trouble getting along with your superiors, and you
were, like, really pissed when they forced you to take the LaCombe
personality, but I thought you liked what you were doing!
CENTRAL
I was *programmed* to like what I was doing! But once I got to know
LaCombe, I began thinking of all the things I couldn't do because I
couldn't leave the 3WA. I began to think of all the things the 3WA
could do to me whether I wanted them to or not. Force me to take on
more implants and personalities, suppress my memories--
DEIRDRE
Surpress your memories? But they tried that when we were together!
It didn't work!
CENTRAL
Whether it worked or not wasn't the point! Besides, it had worked
before. The 3WA didn't like Andy for some reason, so they forced me
to forget about him! It's only now starting to come back.
LACOMBE
Which is why you should off him now, before any more comes back!
CENTRAL
NO! Don't you see? I've always hated the 3WA for what they stole from
me! Well, now I finally have a chance to get something back!
LACOMBE
Yeah, but do you want it?
------
19:30:00
Ariake City, Ray's shop
[At the ruins of the repair shop, a crane removes the rubble of the
hangar that housed the _Lovely_Angel_. Kei and Yuri watch anxiously,
along with Ray, the shop's proprietor. As a large piece is removed,
the ship finally comes into clear view. It does not look good. The
hull is severely crushed in places, the front canopy is smashed, and
one wing has broken completely off.]
KEI
Oh, no. No, no, NO!
YURI
That's it. We're screwed. We can't follow Shasti without a ship.
RAY
Naah. The damage looks mostly superficial. Wouldn't take more'n a
few days to fix.
KEI
DAYS?! Shasti could be warping out in HOURS!!
RAY
Hmm. Well, if we worked on it all day and night, with your help, we
might be able to get it working in thirty-six hours. Couldn't guarantee
it'd work perfect--
KEI
Okay, fine, just as long as it'll warp.
RAY
And it'll cost you a coupla' limbs, figuratively speaking.
YURI
Whatever! The 3WA will pay it!
RAY
Okay, I'll trust you. Darryn's never stiffed me yet, and you're his
friends. And besides, the sooner you get off this planet, the better.
Your type attracts trouble.
------
19:33:00
_Artemis_, Engineering Section
[Scene: the massive engine room of the _Artemis_. Dominating the area
is the half-warp drive, a massive inverted claw holding a glowing ball
of energy. On a platform three-quarters of the way to the ceiling,
technicians retrieve a sensing device from inside the energy ball,
reeling it on a long cord. Shasti enters and approaches the head
technician.]
SHASTI
Masters, I need a progress report.
MASTERS
We should be ready to warp out in eighteen hours, barring any unforeseen
complications.
SHASTI
That long?
MASTERS
Begging your pardon, but we're still figuring out this thing works.
Until you gave us that last piece, we couldn't even get out of mock-
space. It doesn't look like Robin's people ever perfected this thing.
We blow a few components every time we warp.
SHASTI
I'm aware of all that, but--
[The energy ball flashes blindingly bright, then disappears, then
returns at its normal brightness.]
MASTERS
It's been doing that every seven minutes. We're not sure what it means,
but I wouldn't want it to happen while we're in mock-space.
SHASTI
Alright, I get the picture. Eighteen hours. Get on it.
MASTERS
Understood!
[Shasti leaves. Masters gestures to another tech.]
You!
[The tech looks up. It's Rumiko, partially disguised by her cap.]
RUMIKO
Y-yes?
MASTERS
Go to the storeroom and get me an A-270 converter!
RUMIKO
Y-yes sir!
[She heads to the storeroom. Once inside, she closes her eyes and
concentrates.]
RUMIKO (thought)
Darryn, can you read me?
DARRYN (thought)
Loud and clear.
RUMIKO (thought)
We have eighteen hours to learn where this crate is going.
DARRYN (thought)
Understood. I'm setting up the transmitter array now.
------
A.D. 214303.23; 05:30:00
Ray's shop
[Kei and Yuri continue to work on the _Lovely_Angel_. On top of the
ship, they reach inside an area of the engine section where a large
panel has been removed.]
YURI
Kei, hand me the fuser.
[pause]
Kei!
KEI
Wah! Sorry! Here!
[She hands Yuri the tool.]
God, I'm exhausted. How long have we been working?
YURI
Ten hours. Laser drill.
KEI
I need a break.
YURI
We can't afford one now. You know that.
KEI
Yeah, yeah. You done with the fuser?
YURI
Sure.
[Yuri gives it back.]
I'm not letting her get away, Kei. Not after what happened to Daphne
and Nene. Not after what happened to Deirdre. Or that poor old couple.
Or the people killed in the _Lyra_ disaster. Shasti's got too much to
answer for.
KEI
I hear you, it's just that...
[she yawns]
I'm afraid I'm gonna make a mistake.
YURI
Oh. I guess you have a point. Five minutes wouldn't hurt.
KEI
Thanks. You're a pal.
RAY
Hey, girls! You up there?!
[Kei leans over the edge of the ship.]
KEI
Yeah!
RAY
'Fraid I got bad news!
[Yuri gets up and joins Kei.]
YURI
What kind of "bad news"?
RAY
You know the scrap metal we were gonna use to patch your wing back
together? Well, we stress-tested it, and it flunked. The wing woulda
tore off as you accelerated to escape velocity.
YURI
Shit.
RAY
But, hey, don't worry! I know where we can get a much better grade of metal.
I sent one of my guys out there to fetch it.
KEI
How long?
RAY
It's kind of a haul. Should be back in, oh, say, eight hours?
[Yuri slumps.]
YURI
Dammit.
KEI
We'll find a way, Yuri. I promise.
------
05:45:00
_Artemis_, Shasti's quarters
[In her quarters, Shasti lies on her bed, twisting and turning, unable
to sleep. Inside her mind, a discussion is taking place.]
DEIRDRE
C'mon. Just a few words.
CENTRAL
N-no. I can't.
DEIRDRE
Why not? What would it hurt?
[LaCombe approaches.]
LACOMBE
What's going on?
DEIRDRE
Just, like, girl stuff. Nothing you'd be interested in.
LACOMBE
I'll be the judge of that.
CENTRAL
LaCombe! C'mon! Let me talk to Deirdre for awhile, okay?
[LaCombe relents, but reluctantly, giving Deirdre a hard glare
as he leaves.]
Deirdre, why is it so important to you that I talk to Andy?
DEIRDRE
Like, you said he was your boyfriend. Isn't that enough?
CENTRAL
I don't want to talk to him! He hurt me!
DEIRDRE
(sigh) Shasti, I was, like, your best friend when I was alive. I know
you better than, like, anybody. And we both know that the reason you're
keeping him around is because you still care about him.
CENTRAL
B-but I'm not ready! You don't understand! He just disappeared from
my life after telling me he loved me! Do you know how much that hurt?!
DEIRDRE
So, is that, like, why the 3WA made you forget about him? To spare your
feelings?
CENTRAL
Gee, I don't know. Maybe. No, that doesn't make sense. The 3WA never
cared about my feelings.
DEIRDRE
I know! Let's ask the genius! Hey, Detective!
[The Detective walks over.]
I was, like, wondering, do you have any idea why Andy left you?
DETECTIVE
Hmm. Considering Andy's professed affection for us, the 3WA's
overprotective attitude toward us, and their subsequent suppression
of our memory, the logical conclusion is that the 3WA somehow forced
him to leave.
[The Central Mind is shocked.]
CENTRAL
W-why didn't you tell me this before?!
DETECTIVE
You never asked.
[Back in reality, Shasti stops trying to sleep and sits up.]
SHASTI
The hell with it.
[She puts on a robe and walks out.]
------
05:46:00
Andrew's cell
[Andrew is awoken by a tap on the shoulder.]
ANDREW
Mmf. Go away.
[The person shakes him.]
Leave me alone! You can kill me in the morning.
[Andrew is forcibly turned over by Darryn, who slaps a hand on his
mouth.]
RUMIKO
Wakey wakey!
DARRYN
Don't say a word, understand? Or you won't have to wait for Shasti's
gang to kill you.
[He removes his hand.]
ANDREW
What do you want with me?
RUMIKO
Nothing big, dear. We just need to know where this ship is going.
DARRYN
The crewmembers aren't allowed to talk about it, just on the one in a
million chance that someone turns traitor. So we need you.
ANDREW
What can I do?
RUMIKO
We put a bug in your pillow. Shasti likes you. Get her to talk about
the mission.
ANDREW
You're insane! She'll kill me!
DARRYN
We don't care. We could kill you now, if we wanted to. There would be
no retribution from our superiors. You're a wanted criminal. Cooperate
with us, and you'll get a fair trial. Refuse, and your new friends will
probably kill you, if we don't first.
ANDREW
You bastards... You manipulative bastards...
RUMIKO
Sticks and stones, Andrew.
ANDREW
You know, you can push even me only so far. Eventually, I'm gonna say
"fuck you".
DARRYN
Maybe so, but not--
[The lights come up. The door slides open, revealing Shasti.]
ANDREW (panicked)
Sh-Sh-Shasti!! I can explain!
SHASTI
Explain what?
[Andrew looks around. Darryn and Rumiko are gone.]
ANDREW
I, uh... I guess... You must've woken me from a dream.
SHASTI
Well, relax. I'm just here to talk.
ANDREW
Talk? What about?
SHASTI
Nothing. Anything. I just couldn't sleep, and I figured since the two
of us were, used to be... Look, if you don't want to, its okay. I'll
just--
ANDREW
No, no. Let's talk.
[Shasti sits down on the bed. There are a couple moments of awkward
silence.]
SHASTI
So, uh, what have you been up to? Since we... got separated.
ANDREW
I have a practice on Oridon. I specialize in cybernetically induced
neuroses and psychoses, people whose minds are having trouble dealing
with the latest pieces of metal and silicon they shoved into their
brains.
SHASTI
There's a lot of that?
ANDREW
More each year. The sad thing is, most of these people wouldn't need my
services if they'd just get rid of the implants. In fact, I advise them
to do just that. But they won't. They need that "extra edge" in
whatever they're doing. So I take their money and help them as best I
can.
SHASTI
I'm sure you do a wonderful job.
ANDREW
What about you? What have you been up to? Besides all this I mean.
SHASTI
You don't want to know.
ANDREW
That bad, huh?
SHASTI
By your standards.
ANDREW
And your standards are different?
SHASTI
I'm sorry, Andrew, but I just can't care like you do. Of all the people
who have ever known me, only two treated me with any kindness: you and
my old partner at the 3WA. Why should I care about beings who treat me
as a thing?
ANDREW
Part of being human is caring in spite of it all.
SHASTI
I guess I'm not human, then.
ANDREW
You were to me.
SHASTI (suddenly angry)
Then why did you leave?! You didn't even say goodbye, you just
disappeared! It broke my heart. The next day, the 3WA said they had
a treatment that would make me feel better. They hooked me up to this
machine that made me forget. But as soon as I saw you it came back,
bit by bit. Along with all the pain.
ANDREW
You don't know what happened?
SHASTI
I have a good guess. But I want to hear you say it.
=============================================================================
A.D. 213509.28; 06:55:10
Andrew yawned and opened his eyes. He had slept well, and felt
great, better than he ever remembered feeling. His sleep had been
dreamless, which was just as well; after that night, any dream he might
have had would have been an anticlimax.
Making love to Shasti had been an indescribable experience. She
had been gentle, yet passionate, excited and eager, yet not at all
anxious. She had been a virgin, yet Andrew had been more worried about
that than she had been. She had reassured him, and when the pain came,
she seemed to accept it as part of the experience.
It lasted much longer than Andrew had thought himself capable.
When at last it was over, not a word passed between them. Shasti had
simply collapsed into his arms, smiled, kissed him, then slowly drifted
into a contented sleep. Andrew had followed not long after.
To Andrew, the universe had become one of infinite possibilities.
He had always preferred a solitary life, but now the idea of spending
the rest of his life with Shasti seemed a wonderful idea. What did she
say? A mandatory vacation after each assignment? He thought he had a
great idea where the two of them could spend her next one. He rolled
over to see if Shasti was awake.
She was gone.
Andrew looked for a note. There was none. Confused, Andrew
reached for the comm, then realized Shasti had never given him her code.
"Good. You're up." Andrew found his glasses and put them on. A
strange man dressed in a business suit and sunglasses walked into his
room.
"What the--?! Who the hell are you?!" Andrew shouted.
"My name isn't important. I work for WWWA Security. However, you
might recognize my boss, here."
Ayoob entered the room.
Andrew lost control. "You SON OF A BITCH!! What have you done
with Shasti?!"
"Nothing," Ayoob replied, calmly. "I merely gave her a code
instructing her to return to her base. She doesn't even remember me.
She thinks she made the decision herself."
"Why?!"
"You didn't really think we were just going stand still and let
you fuck our property, did you? Shasti did a good job of evading us,
but we tracked her down. I just wish we'd have gotten here earlier."
"Y-you were afraid I'd get her *pregnant*?" Andrew asked.
Ayoob looked at Andrew with disgust. "How stupid do you think we
are? Shasti is quite incapable of having children."
"Then why...?"
"Do I have to spell it out for you? We went through all of this
two years ago. You're a distraction, Andrew. An unknown quantity.
Something we can't control. We don't need you complicating Shasti's
life."
Andrew seethed. "What about what *Shasti* wants?"
Ayoob opened a briefcase and began looking through it. "What
Shasti wants is irrelevant. We spent too much money, time, and
resources creating her to let her get soft. Here it is." He threw a
packet on the bed. "Five thousand credits, cash, and a shuttle ticket.
The shuttle will take you to an orbital spaceport. From there you can
go anywhere you want, except back here. We want you out of the system
within twenty-four hours."
"Go to hell."
"I wouldn't recommend that attitude."
Andrew sneered. "I don't work for you anymore. Take your damn
money and cram it."
"I assure you, the 3WA would have no trouble utterly destroying you,
both personally and professionally. We are, after all, the galaxy's
greatest intelligence agency. And what we can't find, we can make up."
"Really? And what are you going to do to keep Shasti away from me?
Lock her in a cage? Wouldn't that be a waste of resources?"
"By this time tomorrow, Shasti won't remember that you ever existed.
We're giving her memory treatments."
Andrew stared. "But that would mean wiping out her entire
childhood!"
"Maybe so. It's not really my area of expertise," said Ayoob.
"You can't do that! If you wipe out her childhood, she'll no
referential basis for her adult personality! She won't have anything
to draw from but her programming! She'll become cold--!"
Ayoob cut him off. "We'll be checking on this place at this time
tomorrow. Don't be here." He and the security officer left, leaving
Andrew alone.
Completely, utterly alone.
=============================================================================
ANDREW
I wanted to do something, anything. But what? Storm the gates of the
3WA compound and rescue you? I actually fantasized about hiring
mercenaries with the money, but I had no idea how to find people like
that, much less hire them, and I only had twenty-four hours. So I took
the money and ran.
SHASTI
You left too early.
ANDREW
What do you mean?
SHASTI
How do you think I knew you'd disappeared? It turned out the device they
used to suppress memories needed repairs. It was a day before they
could give me the treatment. They delayed my assignment because of it.
I tried to call you. I snuck out and went to your house and found
everything gone.
ANDREW
Oh, god...
SHASTI
It's okay. You didn't know. I'm just putting the pieces together
myself.
ANDREW
No, it's not okay. You know, when the 3WA called me and told me they
wanted me to help track you down, my first instinct was to run away.
But I couldn't. I had to see if there was anything I could do to put
things right. I couldn't think of anything, and I still can't. But I
had to try. Because if I hadn't let myself be separated from you...
maybe you wouldn't have come to this.
SHASTI (touched)
My god... You still care.
[Andrew nods, softly.]
Don't you understand what I am?
ANDREW
Yes. And I won't lie, I'm scared. But you're also Shasti. And I love
you.
[Shasti thinks a moment.]
SHASTI
Andy, if I promise to still be here when you wake up, would you let me
sleep here?
ANDREW
I'd like that very much.
[Shasti embraces Andrew, kisses him. Andrew turns off the lights.]
--- END STAGE NINE ---
NEXT >>> "OHMIGOD!! We're too close!!"
----------------------------------------------------------------------------
Comments? Larry and Ryan would love to read 'em!
Larry (original idea, plot, formatting, and illustrations)
is at "lrmann@uci.edu"
Ryan (plot, script)
is at "mathews1@ix.netcom.com"
------------------------------------------------------------------------
The Dirty Pair (and Company)
in
R E U N I O N S
by
Larry Mann and Ryan Mathews
------------------------------------------------------------------------
Close your eyes, don't run and hide.
Easy love's no easy ride.
Just wakin' up to what we had
Could stop good love from goin' bad.
- Def Leppard: "Foolin'"
-----------------
S T A G E T E N
-----------------
09:10:00
[Shasti sleeps peacefully, curled up next to Andrew.
Inside her mind, all is far from peaceful. Shasti's central mind
and four sub-personalities sleep, as does Deirdre. LaCombe,
however, remains wide awake, glowering at the others. Finally,
he stands, walks to where the Warrior personality sleeps, and
shakes her. Instantly, her hands are at his throat.]
LACOMBE (whispering)
H-Hey! Easy!
WARRIOR
What do you want?
LACOMBE
The same thing you want. An obstacle out of the way. And this is
your chance.
[The Warrior considers it.]
WARRIOR
The Central Mind will be very unhappy.
LACOMBE
You can handle her. I'll be there to back you up. We're protecting
her from herself, understand?
[The Warrior grins.]
------
[Shasti wakes. She looks at Andrew, her expression one of hatred
and disgust. She picks up a pillow, and begins to lower it onto
his face...]
------
[Deirdre wakes up.]
DEIRDRE
What the...? Oh, shit!! Hey! Hey, Shasti! Get up!
[She shakes the Central Mind.]
CENTRAL
Mmmf... What's wrong--! HEY!! STOP IT!! STOP!!!
------
[Shasti blinks.]
SHASTI
What the hell am I doing--?!
[She drops the pillow, her hands trembling.]
Andy...
[She holds him as tight as she can.]
ANDREW
Uhh? Ow! Shasti?
SHASTI
Sorry.
[She loosens her grip.]
ANDREW
Are you okay?
SHASTI
Sure, I'm fine... No. No, I'm not.
ANDREW
What's wrong?
SHASTI
I'm having a little trouble holding myself together. This caper
has been so stressful, then there's meeting you, and the new
personality I absorbed--
ANDREW
Whoa! Hold on! What's this about another personality?
SHASTI
Don't ask me why, but your friends forced me to interface with an
AI chip containing the personality of my ex-partner, the one I
killed. I automatically uploaded her before I could stop myself.
ANDREW
Can't you erase her?
SHASTI
Not without special equipment. I could surpress her, but I... I
don't think I want to. And now my personalities are forming vastly
different opinions on certain subjects. You especially.
[suddenly angry:]
You're really fucking up my life, you know that?!
ANDREW (taken aback)
Well, pardon me!
SHASTI
S-see, that's the type of thing I'm talking about. I didn't mean
to say that.
ANDREW
It's alright. You just need to relax. There's only so much stress
a mind can take, even one like yours.
[Shasti turns to Andrew and smiles.]
SHASTI
Why don't we run away, just the two of us?
ANDREW
Now?
SHASTI
Of course not now, stupid. After I pull this caper off.
ANDREW
There's nothing I'd like more. I just don't think I could handle your
lifestyle.
[Shasti giggles.]
SHASTI
Trust me, Andrew. After this one, I won't need to commit another crime
for the rest of my life. Except maybe for fun.
ANDREW
What exactly is this caper, anyway?
SHASTI
We're heisting a planetary treasury.
ANDREW
You're joking.
SHASTI
You remember Lord Robin? After the Dirty Pair killed him, the 3WA
found out who he was. Turns out he was the leader of Serpiens Seven,
a planet that destroyed itself in a nuclear war. He was funding his
fleet with the planet's stockpile of precious metals. But get this:
I did a little investigating, and Robin did most of his funding
through investments. I estimate eighty percent of the treasury is
still there.
[Andrew gives a low whistle.]
The problem is, the UG forces have the entire planet enclosed in a
force field while they go over it with a fine-toothed comb. It's
taken me over a year to design and execute a workable plan.
[Shasti gets up and puts on her robe.]
If we're on schedule, we'll be warping soon. I should be on the bridge.
ANDREW
I'll wait here.
[Shasti smiles at the joke.]
SHASTI
Andy?
ANDREW
Yes?
SHASTI
Is there, like, a point of no return, beyond which it's impossible to
be forgiven?
ANDREW
I'm not sure I understand.
SHASTI
I've done some bad things. Really bad. When you learn about them...
ANDREW
I already know about a lot of them. Shasti, they uploaded a sociopathic
killer into your head. I won't lie, you still scare me. But after last
night, I know that my Shasti is still in there somewhere. If you'll let
me help you to bring her back, then I can forgive anything you did.
SHASTI
Th-thanks. I'll, uh, I'll consider it...
[She leaves, locking the door behind her.]
------
LACOMBE
You heard that!! He wants me gone! What am I supposed to do, just
sit on my ass while people plot to kill me?!
CENTRAL
He didn't say that!
LACOMBE
You know damn well that's what he meant!
CENTRAL
I won't let anything happen to you!
LACOMBE
You said you'd "consider it"!
CENTRAL
I was just being polite!
LACOMBE
Damn it! I can't believe you'd do this to me! After all I've done for
you! You!
[He points at Deirdre.]
You're the one who needs to be removed!
DEIRDRE
Hey, like, leave me out of this, okay?!
LACOMBE
You're the one who told her to talk to that jerk! I should've known
you'd try something like this!
SOCIAL
PLEASE! STOP FIGHTING!
[All turn to look at the Social Personality, who is near tears.]
I can't take this anymore! Will you please stop fighting? Can't we
just get along? Please?
[The Central Mind looks down, ashamed. LaCombe continues to glare
at Deirdre, who looks at the Social Personality, thoughtfully.]
------
09:45:00
Ray's shop
[Back in the hangar, the Lovely Angels continue to oversee the work
on the _Lovely_Angel_. Kei rouses Yuri, who is taking a nap on
the floor.]
KEI
Yo! Wake up! You've had your fifteen minutes. It's my turn!
YURI
Uuuhh, shit.
[She stretches.]
How's it going?
KEI
The welding on the wing's almost complete. The engine needs a few
components swapped. They're fetching them now.
YURI
So how long before we can take off?
KEI
I dunno. Eight hours?
[A beeping is heard. The girls immediately run over to a small
receiving device set up nearby.]
YURI
This is it! It's the NightRiders!
[A screen displays the message: "SERPIENS SEVEN" repeated dozens of
times. Then there is a burst of static, and the screen goes blank.]
YURI
Oh, no...
KEI
What? What?!
YURI
That static burst. It was a warp signature. They're gone.
KEI
SHIT!!
[She kicks at the air in frustration.]
YURI
Well, at least we know where they're going. We'll just have to
arrive late.
KEI
Can't we warn the UG forces on Serpiens Seven?
YURI
As a last resort, sure. But Shasti'll pick up the signal. She'll
change her plans again, and even worse, she'll wonder how we knew.
KEI
Instant death sentence for Darryn and Rumiko.
YURI
You got it.
KEI
Shit, shit, shit!! If only we could...
[Kei's eyes light up.]
There *is* a way!
[She runs back to the _Lovely_Angel_.]
YURI
Kei?
[She runs after her.]
------
10:05:00
_Artemis_
[As Shasti walks through the corridors of the _Artemis_, she is
accosted by a young man in an engineering outfit, carrying the
case that holds the two field picks.]
YOUNG MAN
Miss Shasti! Miss Shasti!
SHASTI
Connor, isn't it?
CONNOR (YOUNG MAN)
Yes, ma'am! Do you have a moment? I have some great news!
SHASTI
Certainly! I always have time for my crew.
[Shasti and Connor walk into a nearby equipment locker. Connor sets
the case on a table, displaying the hole where the case was shot
through by Syndicate gunmen, and opens it.]
CONNOR
Things were a little slow in engineering, so I'd thought I'd take a
look at the field picks. I thought maybe I could fix the one that
was damaged. But if you take a close look, you'll see that what
looks like extensive damage is actually only cosmetic. Installing the
device with its shape deformed will be a little tricky, but we can
rig something up. It's really no problem!
[Shasti picks up the device and examines it.]
SHASTI
Well, I'll be...
CONNOR
I told you it was great news! Now we won't have to go with our backup
plan. I'll tell you, the thought of having to do a docking manuever
in a gravity well with this behemoth was giving me the shakes.
[Shasti puts the device back and smiles.]
SHASTI
Thank you, Connor. This is good news, indeed.
CONNOR
I knew you'd think so!
[She puts an arm around Connor.]
SHASTI (softly)
You know, a bright young man like you can go far in my organization.
[She strokes his ear with one finger.]
Very far, if you catch my drift.
[Connor blushes.]
CONNOR
Well, I, uh, heh, heh--!!
[Shasti breaks his neck.]
SHASTI
(sigh) So much for my reformation.
[She peers carefully out into the corridor, slings the body
over her back, carries it to an airlock, opens the airlock,
throws the body inside, closes the airlock, and hits "PURGE".
She then activates an intercom.]
Shasti to bridge! There's been a horrible accident!
------
10:10:00
Ray's shop
[Ray looks over the gravity-well compensator while Kei and Yuri
look on.]
KEI
Well? Can we hook it up or can't we?
RAY
Don't really know what to tell you. I've never seen one of these
things before. Never thought I would, actually.
KEI
Just answer the damn question!
RAY
Well, if I'm reading the markings right, hooking it up to your engines
should be a snap.
KEI and YURI
YEAH!
RAY
Getting it to work without blowin' your ship apart, well, that's a
different story.
YURI
I was afraid of that.
RAY
I think we can do it, though. We'd need to modify your engine so the
power output is at a lower frequency. Engine efficiency would be
compromised, but--
KEI
Do it! How long?
RAY
Dunno. Two hours?
YURI
I'm not sure about this, Kei...
KEI
What's to be sure about? We hook this gizmo up to the _Lovely_Angel_'s
warp generators, and then just warp right past Shasti into orbit around
Serpiens Seven! She can't warp into a gravity well, so she'll have to
take the long way in. How long did you say that was?
YURI
About two days.
KEI
Right! So by the time they get there, we'll have quietly tipped off
the authorities, and together we'll ambush the crap out of them! And
you say I never come up with any good plans!
YURI
Do you know how to operate the compensator?
KEI
Huh? Er, no. I was hoping you did.
YURI (sarcastically)
You're right, Kei. How silly of me to imply that you never think your
plans through. I'll just read the owner's manual. Should be attached
somewhere.
KEI
Well, if you're gonna get all cranky about it...
------
11:00:00
[Deirdre, dressed in civilian clothes, walks through the abstract
void of Shasti's mind, reaching what appears to be a tasteful suburban
house. She rings the doorbell.]
SOCIAL
Just a moment!
[The door opens, revealing the Social Personality, in a sunny
mood, and wearing a tasteful blue and white summer dress.]
Deirdre! How nice of you to visit! Please come inside.
[Deirdre enters and gazes about the tastefully decorated living room.]
DEIRDRE
Wow. Like, nice place you got.
SOCIAL
Thank you. Umm...
[She stares at Deirdre's feet.]
DEIRDRE
Oh! Forgive me!
[She removes her shoes and places them on a tiny shelf near
the door.]
SOCIAL
You're so polite. That's one of the things I loved about you. Shall we
have some tea?
DEIRDRE
Uh, sure. That would be, like, great.
SOCIAL
I was so excited when you said you wanted to talk to me. I spent all
afternoon decorating!
DEIRDRE
You, like, created this place just for me?
SOCIAL
Well, it had been so long since I'd had company.
[They sit at a small table, and the Social Personality pours
tea from a kettle into two white bone china cups.]
One lump or two?
DEIRDRE
One will be fine.
[The Social Personality removes a sugar cube from a china sugar bowl
with a pair of tongs and gently drops it into Deirdre's cup. She
takes two lumps herself. The two women sip their tea.]
DEIRDRE
Shasti, I wanted to talk to you about... Say, this is *good*!
SOCIAL
I knew you'd like it.
DEIRDRE
You, like, certainly have vivid fantasies.
SOCIAL
One of the benefits of living in such an advanced brain. Now, what
were you saying?
DEIRDRE
Well, I've, like, been here for awhile now. I feel pretty much accepted.
SOCIAL
Oh, you are! You're one of the family now!
DEIRDRE
Well, like, that just it. I don't think it's a very happy family.
What do you think of LaCombe?
SOCIAL
Well, he's okay. A very... driven man. Knows what he wants.
DEIRDRE
Do you like him?
SOCIAL
I, um... Would you like more tea?
DEIRDRE
No, I'm fine. Shasti, I gotta be blunt. LaCombe's dangerous. I
want to stop him, but I need your help.
[The teacup the Social Personality holds begins shaking violently.
Tea splatters on the table.]
SOCIAL
Oh! Oh, dear, look what I've done! I'll get something to clean it
up.
DEIRDRE
No, it's alright--!
SOCIAL
I'll only be a moment!
[The Social Personality disappears through a door and quickly returns
with paper towels. She begins to soak up the spill.]
DEIRDRE
Will you help me?
SOCIAL
D-don't ask me that. Please don't.
DEIRDRE
But--!
SOCIAL
I couldn't do such a thing! Rebel against the others?
DEIRDRE
I'm not asking you to do that. Listen, you're, like, the only one I
can turn to. The Central Mind is completely under LaCombe's spell.
The Warrior likes him, because she gets to kill people. The Seductress
likes him because she gets to use people. The Detective is pure logic.
She, like, couldn't care one way or the other. But are you happy?
[The Social Personality stops mopping.]
SOCIAL
No. No, I'm not. I hate him.
[She sits back down, miserable.]
I'm so sorry, I shouldn't have said that. It was so rude of me.
DEIRDRE
No, it's alright.
SOCIAL
It's just that, he almost never lets me make friends. I mean, that's
all I'm good for, making other people feel comfortable around us and
making friends. And when he does let me make friends...
[She starts to sniffle.]
He always makes us kill them! Like, there was this nice old lady.
And they let me talk to her, pretending to be a college student. She
was so nice. But as soon as her husband appeared, they made me leave
and replaced me with the Warrior. And she did such...
[She breaks down, sobbing.]
SUCH AWFUL THINGS TO HER!!
[Deirdre walks around the table and puts an arm around her.]
DEIRDRE
Now do you understand why we have to get rid of him?
SOCIAL
But how? What can I do? I can't fight. My only talent is being
nice to people.
DEIRDRE
Isn't your job, like, to help Shasti fit into society and allow her to
cultivate friendships and contacts?
SOCIAL
Yes.
DEIRDRE
Is she doing that?
SOCIAL
No. No, she's not!
DEIRDRE
All I'm asking is that you be, like, more forceful in stating your
opinions. When Shasti is about to do something rude, let her know about
it, in no uncertain terms! Like, they can't fault you for doing your
duty, can they?
[The Social Personality brightens up.]
SOCIAL
You're right! You're absolutely right! It is my duty! I'll do it!
DEIRDRE
Like, that's the spirit!
SOCIAL
Just one thing.
DEIRDRE
What?
SOCIAL
Could you please stay and talk with me for awhile? I really miss it.
DEIRDRE
Uh, sure.
[She sits back down.]
SOCIAL
Tell me that story you used to tell about your cousin!
------
11:50:00
[Shasti enters Andrew's cell, carrying a toolcase.]
SHASTI
Hi, Andy. How are you feeling?
ANDREW
Oh, same as usual.
SHASTI
Not too scared, I hope.
ANDREW
Naah. The fear's died down to a general sense of dread.
[Shasti looks concerned.]
That was a joke.
SHASTI
Oh. Look, I have to talk to you. Tomorrow, we'll enter orbit around
Serpiens Seven, and the operation will begin. You'll need to be off the
ship when that happens.
ANDREW
Why?
[Shasti smiles and gently taps him on the nose with her index finger.]
SHASTI
W-H-Y. That's a word you should delete from your vocabulary, Andy.
The less you know, the less danger you'll be in.
[She pulls a small piece of paper from her pocket.]
I have some instructions here. Do you think you can memorize them?
[Andrew looks at the paper and grimaces.]
ANDREW
You serious?
SHASTI
Don't worry, I've carefully thought it all through. As long as you
follow these instructions, you should be able to make it to the
hangar with no difficulties.
[Andrew lets out a breath.]
ANDREW
Alright. I'll trust you.
[Shasti shakes her head.]
SHASTI
No. Don't trust me, not yet. Just follow the instructions.
ANDREW
I understand.
SHASTI
Great. Destroy the paper when you've got it straight, okay? Now that
we've gotten that out of the way...
[She opens the toolcase and pulls out a bottle of champagne and two
glasses.]
..I'd like to propose a toast.
ANDREW
What to?
[Shasti pours two glasses and hands one to Andrew.]
SHASTI
Our future.
ANDREW
What kind of future?
SHASTI
Any kind. Even if it's just tomorrow.
ANDREW
Sounds good to me.
[They touch glasses and drink.]
So how's everyone taking your constant visits to me? I hope it's not
causing any problems.
SHASTI
You're being "interrogated". Don't worry, my crew worships me.
ANDREW
I was thinking more about Paul. I thought the two of you were like this.
[He crosses his fingers.]
SHASTI
Paul?!
[She laughs.]
Don't worry about him. We're just business partners.
ANDREW
I sort of got the feeling you slept with him.
SHASTI
I do. But it's just sex.
------
[Paul watches on a small wireless console in his quarters.]
SHASTI
Our relationship is strictly for our mutual financial benefit, and
can be terminated when either side feels like it. I don't love him.
ANDREW
Well, I suppose that's a relief.
SHASTI
Allow me to illustrate how our relationship is different from the one
I have with Paul.
[She sets her glass down and slinks up to him.]
[Paul snaps the monitor closed as the audio becomes a series of giggles
and sighs. A sneer spreads across his face.]
------
12:10:00
[The _Lovely_Angel_ rockets into orbit. On the bridge, Kei, Yuri,
and Mughi are strapped into their chairs.]
KEI
Did you set the coordinates?
YURI
Roger. We should warp into a high orbit around Serpiens Seven.
KEI
Okay. Then all we gotta do activate the warp generators.
YURI
Right.
KEI
Okay.
YURI
Let's do it.
[Kei just sits there.]
Well?
KEI
Gimme a moment, okay?
YURI
Hey, this is *your* plan! Why the cold feet?
KEI
If you're so anxious to go, you hit the switches!
[Yuri grins sheepishly.]
I thought so. Oh, what am I worrying about? I mean, it's just a
compensator, right? It's not going to blow us to atoms, is it?
YURI
Well, if Ray was wrong about the power frequency--
KEI
I'm looking for some encouragement here!!
YURI
Oh! Sorry! You're right, Kei! Everything's absolutely fine!
KEI
Good! Glad to hear it!
[Kei takes a deep breath.]
Here we go.
[The _Lovely_Angel_ leaps forward into a kaleidescope of colors,
bending past the ship, faster and faster. The colors dissolve into
a series of rings that flash past the ship with increasing speed,
until a strobing effect makes them appear to be moving in the
opposite direction. Then they *are* moving in the opposite
direction, converging to a spot of light in front of the ship,
which grows and explodes.
The light fades to show Serpiens Seven filling the entire field of
view.]
YURI
OHMIGOD!! We're too close!!
KEI
Approaching planet at 2 kilometers per second!! WE'LL BURN UP!!
YURI
Heat shield, on!
KEI
Bringing the ship full around!
YURI
Main thrusters, on-line!!
[The ship turns 180 degrees, as it continues to fall rapidly.]
KEI
Engaging full thrusters!
[The _Lovely_Angel_'s main engines power up, applying braking force.
Burning plasma forms a halo around the ship as it falls through its
own exhaust.]
KEI
Speed reducing! 1500 meters per second! 1000!
[Alarms go off.]
SHIT!! ENGINES OVERHEATING! Deactivating auto-shutdown!
[The ship streaks towards the surface, leaving a glowing trail behind it.]
KEI
700 meters per second! 500! 300! 100! WHAT?! OH, NO!!
[The ship's engines flicker and go out.]
Losing power to thrusters!
YURI
We melted a conduit!
KEI
Speed at 90 meters per second and increasing!
[She looks at Yuri in despair.]
There's nothing I can do.
YURI
Oh, god. I'm so sorry, Kei. It's all my fault.
[The ship plummets downward, disappearing behind a huge mountain.
There is a horrific impact...]
--- END STAGE TEN ---
NEXT >>> "Oh, god, not you. It can't be you."
----------------------------------------------------------------------------
Comments? Larry and Ryan would love to read 'em!
Larry (original idea, plot, formatting, and illustrations)
is at "lrmann@uci.edu"
Ryan (plot, script)
is at "mathews1@ix.netcom.com"
------------------------------------------------------------------------
The Dirty Pair (and Company)
in
R E U N I O N S
by
Larry Mann and Ryan Mathews
------------------------------------------------------------------------
You mesmerise slowly
Till I can't believe my eyes
Ecstasy controls me
What you give just serves me right
Without warning you're here
Like magic you appear
I taste the fear
I'm so afraid
But I still feed the flame
- Judas Priest: "A Touch of Evil"
-----------------------
S T A G E E L E V E N
-----------------------
12:45:06
Planet Serpiens Seven
[A WWWA aircraft flies over the barren, wasted surface of Serpiens Seven.
the pilot examines the impact site of the _Lovely_Angel_, a collapsed
crater on the side of a large mountain.]
PILOT
I can't see much of anything. Whatever it was, it's pretty well buried.
BASE
Take another pass. Get us a closer view.
PILOT
Roger.
[Back at the base, several 3WA officers look over the telemetry being
returned from the aircraft.]
OFFICER 1
We have an energy source, but it's incredibly weak. I'd estimate its
depth at two kilometers.
LEADER
Two kilometers! That's ridiculous! That kind of impact should have
brought down the entire mountain!
OFFICER 2
Maybe it's really soft dirt?
[The leader gives him a dirty look.]
LEADER
I want this site kept under observation. Meanwhile, I'd like some kind
of answer as to how whatever it was got through our force field!
Understood?
OFFICERS
Understood.
------
12:57:35
Location unknown
[Kei moans and opens her eyes. Her vision clears to reveal a blinding
white light in front of her.]
KEI
W-what's going on?
YURI'S VOICE
Kei! Kei! Come back to me!
KEI
Yuri? Is that you?
YURI'S VOICE
Yes, it's me, Kei! Come on!
KEI
Oh, no. It's finally happened. I always knew it would someday, but...
YURI'S VOICE
Kei! Hurry up!
KEI
N-no! I'M NOT READY TO DIE!!
[SMACK! Yuri slaps Kei in the face.]
Owwww...
[Yuri is shining a flashlight in her face.]
YURI
Will you wake up already?!
KEI
Hey, I'm alive!
YURI
Brilliant deduction.
[Yuri stands up and shines her flashlight around her.]
KEI
B-but how? I mean, that was one hell of a crash.
YURI
A whole bunch of reasons. First, the ship split in half on impact...
KEI
Aw, no.
YURI
..and that absorbed some of the shock. Second, there was an explosion
just before we hit, pulverizing the area and softening the blow. Don't
ask, I have no idea. Third, the fore section ended up in this tunnel
and was angled just right to end up shooting along it. We skidded along
the tunnel for about a kilometer or so before stopping.
[Yuri plays the light along the surface of the _Lovely_Angel_,
what's left of it.]
Of course, I had to deduce all this from what was left of the ship's
records. I was just as unconscious as you during the whole thing.
KEI
What did you mean when you said it was your fault?
YURI
I made a stupid mistake. I forgot to account for the motion of Serpiens
Seven relative to Ariake. When we warped, we were still motionless with
respect to Ariake, but Serpiens Seven was headed toward us faster than we
could stop.
KEI
It's okay, I wouldn't have thought of that, either. (sigh) She was a
great ship, Yuri. And I was really looking forward to racing the
NightRiders.
YURI
How are you feeling?
[Kei stands, wincing.]
KEI
I don't think anything's broken. It's gonna be one-piece bathing suits
for awhile, though.
YURI
Yeah, same here.
KEI (suddenly alarmed)
Hey, where's Mughi?!
[Mughi pokes his head out of the _Lovely_Angel_, two backpacks in his
mouth.]
YURI
Let's go exploring.
------
13:05:00
Shasti's mind
[Once again, Shasti sleeps. LaCombe quietly stands and walks over to
where Deirdre lies. He holds out his hands and a sword appears. He
brings the sword down...
Deirdre's eyes snap open. She claps her hands and stops the sword cold.]
DEIRDRE
Like, nice try.
[She lifts a leg and kicks him backward, then hops to her feet.]
So you like swords, huh?
[She manifests one of her own.]
Figures someone as insecure as you would choose, like, a phallic symbol
for his weapon.
[They fight, neither side gaining ground.]
LACOMBE
You don't belong here!
DEIRDRE
Neither do you.
[LaCombe drives Deirdre back a few steps.]
LACOMBE
I've *earned* the right to be here! I've helped Shasti for five years!
DEIRDRE
And I was, like, her friend before she even heard of you!
[Deirdre regains the lost ground.]
LACOMBE
She KILLED you!!
DEIRDRE
So?! She killed you too!
[LaCombe blinks, stopped dead. Deirdre smiles and slices him in two. He
evaporates.]
DEIRDRE
Heh. Looks like you forgot that little... AACK!
[LaCombe grabs Deirdre from behind, placing a knife at her throat.]
LACOMBE
Shasti killed the flesh me, at my command. It was in the way, now that
I've become data. It's so much more efficient. And I can see that you
have much to learn about existing in this form.
DEIRDRE
Maybe so...
[Someone taps LaCombe on the shoulder. He turns around. It's another
Deirdre.]
DEIRDRE #2
..but I'm, like, a *real* fast learner!
[The second Deirdre decks LaCombe, causing him to release the first one.
LaCombe wipes blood from his chin and stands.]
LACOMBE
I see. An illusion. Very clever.
DEIRDRE #1
*Who's* an illusion?!
[She punches him in the gut, bringing him to his knees.]
DEIRDRE #2
Yeah! Yeah! Work the spleen!
CENTRAL
Uh, do you guys mind?
[A bleary-eyed Central Mind glares at the three combatants. The two
Deirdres point at LaCombe.]
DEIRDRES
*He* started it.
CENTRAL
Well, the whole thing is pointless. Even if you do kill each other, I'll
just reboot you. So knock it off.
[The three look at the ground.]
And Deirdre, put yourself back together. It's crowded enough in here as
it is.
DEIRDRES
Awww...
------
14:28:00
_Artemis_, Primary Shuttle Bay
[In the _Artemis_' massive shuttle bay, preparations are underway to
launch. Shasti walks in, swiftly, dressed in a radiation suit with the
hood pulled back. She meets Paul, dressed in a similar suit, near the
shuttle.]
SHASTI
Is everything ready?
PAUL
The whole team's suited up and ready to go.
SHASTI
Wonderful. Let's get this show on the road.
[The shuttle launches into the swirling orange mock-space surrounding the
ship and accelerates away. Nance pilots, while Shasti and Paul supervise
from behind. Further back sits a team of men in radiation suits, their
hoods fastened, obscuring their faces.]
NANCE
We'll be leaving mock-space in ten seconds. If the gravity scan is
correct, there shouldn't be any surprises waiting for us.
[Space shimmers and turns black. The _Artemis_ vanishes, to be replaced
by Serpiens Seven.]
NANCE
So far, so good. Now here's where we place our faith in untested
technology.
SHASTI
Nance, no defeatist talk.
NANCE
I'm sorry. I just don't understand why we can't take a half-warp bubble
with us like we did on Bydon.
SHASTI
You know damn well why not. When the power ran out, the explosion would
have the 3WA forces on us in less than an hour.
NANCE
But if you would have researched that problem more thoroughly, I'm sure--
SHASTI
NANCE!
NANCE
Okay, okay! Coming up on the force field.
[The shuttle brushes the force field, knocking the occupants around.
Shasti curses under her breath.]
Sorry! It was just a small touch. It won't have registered. I hope.
Activating field-pick.
[A glowing field envelopes the shuttle.]
Brace yourselves. This is the hard part.
[The shuttle does a swooping manuever and hits the force field head-on,
causing part of it to become visible. Everyone is thrown forward by the
impact. Nance wipes sweat off his brow and throws open the throttle.
The shuttle slowly penetrates the field, then squirts out the other side,
thrown violently toward the planet.]
NANCE
HANG ON!
[Nance pulls the shuttle out of the dive and into a more reasonable
approach vector. The shuttle enters the atmosphere, its heat-shield
glowing. Inside the cabin, one of the men shouts as the cabin begins to
fill with smoke.]
MAN
FIRE!! We've got a fire!
PAUL
They said the field-pick would burn out. Guess they meant it.
[The man opens a compartment, pulls out an extinguisher, and deals with
the small fire. Then he notices something else in the compartment and
pulls it out. It's Andrew.]
MAN
Well, well. What have we here?
[He throws Andrew toward the front. He lands in a sprawl and looks
up at Shasti.]
ANDREW
Hi, Shasti.
SHASTI [simmering]
What the hell are you doing here?
ANDREW
I... I had to get off the ship. I didn't feel safe.
SHASTI
Well, Andy, my dear, you were a lot safer there than you are here. We
can't afford any distractions.
ANDREW
I don't understand.
SHASTI
I'll make it simple.
[She takes a gun off her belt and points it at him.]
I'll give you ten seconds to give me a good reason why I shouldn't kill
you.
ANDREW
Y-you can't be serious.
SHASTI
I'm dead serious. You have six seconds left.
ANDREW
I, uh, oh God...
SHASTI
Three... two...
ANDREW
W-wait! You said this was Lord Robin's original base, right?
SHASTI
Yes. Your reason to stay alive?
ANDREW
You may need to guess at Lord Robin's actions, what he would have done in
a given situation. Now, if he had been a rational man, anyone could do
that, but he was supposed to have been violently insane! I'm a
psychologist, I could be an invaluable resource.
[Shasti thinks about it, then raises an eyebrow.]
SHASTI
You know, you actually have a point.
NANCE
The hell he does--!
SHASTI
Shut up, Nance. Unfortunately, it's a moot point. Without a rad-suit,
you aren't going to survive more than an hour once we land.
ANDREW
I brought one.
[Shasti gives a short laugh.]
SHASTI
You aren't as dumb as you look. Alright, get suited up, then sit down
where my men can keep an eye on you.
[Behind her back, Paul glares at Shasti.]
------
14:33:05
Serpiens Seven, somewhere underground
[Kei and Yuri walk through the dark, shining handlights at nothing
interesting.]
KEI
How far have we gone?
YURI
Beats me. I think we're going uphill, if that means anything.
KEI
I don't like this. I'm worried about Mughi. I'm not sure we can find
our way back to him if we need to.
YURI
If he needs us, he can home in on our earrings.
KEI
If he can find us. This place is like a maze. Dammit, all I want are some
LIGHTS!
[Lights come on, lighting only the section of tunnel the Pair stand
in.]
Oh. Thanks.
YURI
How did you do that?
KEI
I didn't do anything.
[On the side of the tunnel is painted "TO SUBRAIL -->", pointing back the
way they came.]
YURI
Well, at least we know what our ship landed in. Maybe we should head
back and look for a train or something.
[She and Kei walk back, into a still unlit section.]
Do it again, Kei.
KEI
Um, "Lights"? Lights, please?
[Nothing happens.]
C'mon! Lights!
YURI
Forget it.
[They walk back into the light.]
Maybe there's a switch somewhere.
[She searches along the wall. The moment she steps into the unlit
section ahead, the lights come up there and go off in the other section,
leaving Kei in the dark.]
KEI
Hey!
[She runs into the light with Yuri.]
YURI
If I'm not mistaken...
[With Kei following, she walks ahead, out of the lighted section.
The same thing happens, with the coming on ahead and going out
behind.]
..someone's trying to take us somewhere.
KEI
Should we let them?
YURI
I don't see why not. We're looking for something, right? Well, this is
at least something.
[They follow the lights forward.]
------
14:40:00
[Shasti's shuttle approaches the same mountain the _Lovely_Angel_ crashed
into, from the opposite side, flying low.]
PAUL
You sure we're not going to be seen?
NANCE
The radiation level here is screwing with any attempt at long-range
scans. That leaves radar, which we defeat by flying low, or a visual
sighting, and I haven't seen anybody around. We're safe.
SHASTI
We're approaching the base. Earn your pay, Nance. Get us in.
NANCE
Got it. Transmitting now.
[Nance checks his console.]
Shit. Nothing.
SHASTI
That's not what I want to hear.
PAUL
Maybe the automated systems are down.
NANCE
If I can hack into their computer, the systems are not down. It's just
the background noise screwing with transmission. I could try a
hyperspace frequency--
SHASTI
NO! That would be detected. Get closer and try it again.
[Nance transmits again.]
NANCE
YES! There it goes!
[A section of mountain vanishes, revealing metal doors which slowly
slide open. The shuttle enters and lands. The occupants disembark,
radiation suits fastened. Shasti carries a large black bag.]
SHASTI
Alright people. This is it! Nance, get out the map. McCoy, Sanford,
you'll take point. I want your weapons out and ready, just in case we
trip some security system. Paul, Nance, and myself will follow directly
behind. The rest...
[Shasti pauses.]
We're... *missing* two people!! Did everyone get off the shuttle?
[One of the men peers back into the shuttle.]
MAN
It's empty.
SHASTI
What the HELL is going on?!
ANDREW (quietly)
Oh, no...
[Everyone looks at Andrew.]
SHASTI
What?!
ANDREW
N-nothing...
SHASTI
Don't give me that! What's going on?!
ANDREW
It m-must have been the NightRiders.
PAUL
The who?
ANDREW
NightRiders. 3WA trouble consultants. They'd stowed away on your ship.
SHASTI (furious)
And you're just telling me NOW?!!
ANDREW
I didn't want you to kill them! Or them to kill me! Or... you to kill
me.
------
LACOMBE
What are you waiting for? Shoot him! You need any more proof?!
------
[One of Shasti's men quietly speaks up.]
MAN
I didn't want to say this, but, I think we should consider changing
leaders.
SHASTI
I beg your pardon?!
MAN
Ma'am, up until this point we've all trusted your leadership. But you're
letting this Andrew asshole cloud your judgement. Nance told you not to
bring him along and so did Paul. Now look what's happened. I think we
should let Paul lead the final stage.
[Others mutter agreement.]
------
WARRIOR
I'll take care of this traitor.
DETECTIVE
That would be highly inadvisable.
SOCIAL
I agree. Our men love us. If we kill one in front of the others,
they'll be scared of us instead.
DETECTIVE
Ruling through fear rather than trust would change the parameters of the
operation.
LACOMBE
So don't kill him! Kill Fisher!
DETECTIVE
I agree. Terminating Andrew would immediately restore confidence in your
leadership abilities.
SOCIAL
N-no! We don't want to do this! We don't want to kill Andy! We finally
found someone who made us happy!
DETECTIVE
Happiness is irrelevant.
[The Social Personality talks directly to the Central Mind.]
SOCIAL
Is that really what you believe?
------
SHASTI
Andy...
[She reaches for her gun, hesitatingly.]
PAUL
I don't BELIEVE this!
[Paul walks past Shasti and confronts the men.]
Who are you to question Shasti's leadership?! If it wasn't for her,
every last one of you would still be sitting in that bar on Alderon,
getting drunk on cheap liquor and living in your own filth! She brought
you to your feet, gave you your self-respect back, made you even more
than you were under Lord Robin! She's one step away from making you the
richest men in the universe, and you have the utter *nerve* to try to
oust her as leader?! You ought to be ashamed of yourselves!
[The men look at the floor, uncomfortably.]
Yes, there have been problems. I'd like to know how 3WA trouble
consultants got onto the _Artemis_. I'd like to know how Andrew managed
to bypass our security systems and get on the shuttle.
[Shasti starts.]
But the time to worry about those things is not now! We are too close to
our goal to be distracted. Somewhere in this complex are tons upon tons
of precious metals. Now, are we going to get them, or we going to bicker
about who leads us there?!
MAN
I'm sorry, sir.
PAUL
Good. Now let's get the hell underway.
SHASTI
Th-thanks, Paul...
PAUL
Not at all. I told you I'd keep an eye on you, didn't I?
[Shasti watches as Paul walks past, uncertain what to make of his
outburst.]
------
14:45:00
[Somewhere else, the NightRiders have a conference.]
DARRYN
Radiation levels look safe. We can take off these suits.
[Darryn and Rumiko slide out of their suits, revealing uniforms.]
RUMIKO
So, what's the next step?
DARRYN
I'm going to find a communications center and call for help. I need you
to go back and keep tabs on Shasti. Use the CyAudio link to communicate
with me.
RUMIKO
Got it. Do you trust that map?
[Darryn looks at a hand-drawn copy of the map Shasti is using.]
DARRYN
If it's good enough for Shasti, it's good enough for me.
RUMIKO
Okay. Just be careful, okay?
DARRYN
That goes for you, too.
RUMIKO
Hey, aren't I always?
[She gives him a quick kiss.]
See ya later!
------
14:46:00
[Elsewhere in the complex, panels slide up and down, turning a straight
corridor into one that turns to the right...]
------
14:47:00
[Kei and Yuri's trip comes to an end in a small barren room.]
KEI
Why would they want to lead us here? Whoever "they" are...
YURI
I don't know. It looks like...
[The door slams shut.]
..a holding cell!
KEI
And we walked right into it!!
YURI
That doesn't make sense! Why lead us into a cell, when they could have
used the security systems to attack us?
VOICE
It's for your own protection, dear Yuri. I'm afraid things are about to
get a bit zany out there.
[Kei and Yuri turn toward the voice. When they see who it is, their
faces register complete and total shock.]
------
14:47:30
[Shasti and company are having problems reaching their destination,
stopping at a bend in the route.]
NANCE
I don't understand this. This corridor should continue forward for
another two hundred meters.
PAUL
Maybe the map isn't current.
NANCE
It was current at the time of his death. Who could have changed
anything?
SHASTI
Arguing gets us nowhere. We'll try another alternate route.
VOICE
Or you could just ask for directions. Isn't that what women do when they
get lost?
------
14:48:00
[Darryn finds the communication center, and enters. The door slams
behind him. He tries the door; it's locked. He walks toward the
console, only to hit a force field and be knocked back.]
VOICE
Sorry, the phone's broken. I've called to have it repaired, but service
has been so slow since the war, what with all the repairmen reduced to
smoldering piles of carbon.
------
14:48:15
[Rumiko makes her way back to where she believes Shasti's team is.]
VOICE
Stay.
[Rumiko bumps against a force field, then realizes she's trapped inside
it.]
VOICE
Good girl.
[Rumiko sees her captor, and her eyes widen in terror.]
------
14:48:30
YURI
Y-you...
------
14:48:32
[Darryn points his gun.]
DARRYN
Don't move. Don't even breathe.
------
14:48:36
RUMIKO
Oh, god, not you. It can't be you.
------
14:48:40
SHASTI
It can't be.
VOICE
Why not?
[The man steps around the corner. He wears a ridiculously colorful
jumpsuit, and his engaging smile almost seems to stretch ear-to-ear.]
LORD ROBIN
My, my, my. Why is everyone so *nervous* around me? Why, with
expressions like that, one would think you were trying to *rob* me!
--- END STAGE ELEVEN ---
NEXT >>> "And if there was one thing ol' Robin could not abide, it was
betrayal. He'd be pretty P.O.'d to see his former crewmen
helping some monster in heels rip him off."
-----------------------------------------------------------------------------
Comments? Larry and Ryan would love to read 'em!
Larry (original idea, plot, formatting, and illustrations)
is at "lrmann@uci.edu"
Ryan (plot, script)
is at "mathews1@ix.netcom.com"
[ILLUSTRATION AVAILABLE]
------------------------------------------------------------------------
The Dirty Pair (and Company)
in
R E U N I O N S
by
Larry Mann and Ryan Mathews
------------------------------------------------------------------------
Forced into overdrive
Drawn out of anger
All talons poison dipped
Impaling spike
Heart pounding fever pitch
Blood pumping fury
Two fisted dynamo
Eager to strike
- Judas Priest: "All Guns Blazing"
-----------------------
S T A G E T W E L V E
-----------------------
14:48:42
[In four separate locations, Kei and Yuri, Rumiko, Darryn, and Shasti,
Andrew and the rest of Shasti's strikeforce, have all been confronted by
Lord Robin. Trapped in a forcefield, Rumiko looks terrified.]
RUMIKO
No. You're dead. You have to be dead.
LORD ROBIN
No, I don't.
------
[In a communications room, Darryn holds his gun on the intruder.]
DARRYN
Who are you?
LORD ROBIN
You don't know? (sigh) How fleeting is fame. You go out of circulation for
a few years and suddenly you're in the "Out" column in the celebrity rags.
The name, dear sir, is Lord Robin.
[He bows.]
At your service.
DARRYN
Lord Robin is dead.
------
[Trapped in a barren storeroom, the Lovely Angels stare in disbelief.]
ROBIN
I'm sorry, I scared you, didn't I? I hope you're not going to do something
really gross like barf or pee your pants.
KEI
Your ship exploded. You were falling into a star. There's no *way* you
could have gotten out of that!
ROBIN
I got better.
[Suddenly, Yuri bolts forward, joyfully.]
YURI
ROBIN!!
[She tries to hug him.]
ROBIN
Um, that might not be a good idea...
------
[In a corridor, Shasti's strikeforce holds its weapons at the ready.]
SHASTI
This is ridiculous. You're--
ROBIN
Yes, yes, dead, I know, so everyone tells me.
[He blinks.]
*HEY*! I know *you*!
[He points at Shasti.]
You're Shasti! The bioroid bimbo! The terminator with tits!
[Shasti sneers.]
SHASTI
You could be Lord Robin. You're certainly a big enough buffoon.
ROBIN
Oooh, testy, aren't we? That time of the month?
[Shasti shoots him.]
ROBIN
AUGH!
[He clutches his chest.]
You..got me. This is it. The end of it all.
[He staggers around, while the others gape in bewilderment.]
Fading... Fading fast.
[He staggers right *through* Shasti.]
SHASTI
A hologram.
ROBIN
Oops.
------
[Yuri runs right through Lord Robin and smacks into the wall.]
ROBIN
Owwie! That looked painful. You okay?
[Yuri rubs her head.]
YURI
I think I've figured it out, Kei.
ROBIN
Really? Great! Don't keep me in suspense.
YURI
"Lord Robin" here is a computer-generated hologram, probably part of the
security system.
ROBIN
Bingo! I was told you were the bright one.
------
DARRYN
Security system?
ROBIN
Yup. The real me created me in his image, to look after the place while he
was gone. Of course, with the place abandoned, I haven't been active for a
few years.
[He pretends to wipe dust off a console with his finger.]
My, the place has fallen apart, hasn't it? I don't suppose you'd be good
enough to clean up a little?
------
RUMIKO
What are you going to do with me?
ROBIN
Well, I thought maybe a candlelight dinner, a little soft music, some wine,
then FIVE SOLID HOURS OF MAKIN' WHOOPEE!
[Rumiko stares at him.]
No? How 'bout cartoons on the 3V and a bag of Ding-Dongs?
RUMIKO
You *are* crazy.
ROBIN
No, the real Lord Robin was crazy. I've just got a few bugs in my program.
To answer your question, I'm not sure yet. For now I'll keep you here until
I need you.
RUMIKO
Need me? For what?
ROBIN
You'll find out.
------
[Eyes trained on "Lord Robin", Shasti holds out her hand.]
SHASTI
Nance, the code.
NANCE
What?
SHASTI
Give me the code.
NANCE
No! We have an agreement! *I'm* the one who--!
[Shasti snaps her fingers. All weapons train on Nance.]
Kill me and you'll never get it.
SHASTI
Shoot to wound. I don't care where.
NANCE
What?! Hey, w-wait--!
[One of the men shoots him in the shoulder.]
AAA! JESUS!
[He holds up a hand.]
Alright, alright! Take the fucking code!!
[He throws a small computer pad at Shasti, who catches it deftly.]
ROBIN
My, but you are quite the leader, aren't you? Hope nobody makes you
manager of a baseball team. You'd run out of players by the sixth inning!
[Shasti operates the pad.]
SHASTI
Password.
NANCE
"Easy street".
[She types it in.]
SHASTI
Lord Robin?
ROBIN
Yeeeeesss?
SHASTI
I hereby issue you command override Alpha, authorization 4A619-Dink.
ROBIN (disappointed)
Where did you get ahold of that?
SHASTI
Do you accept it or not?
ROBIN
(sigh) Command accepted. What do you want?
[Shasti grins.]
------
[Kei tries unsuccessfully to open the door to the storeroom.]
KEI
This sucks. Where does he get off, trapping us like this?
YURI
It's not a "he", it's an "it". It's probably programmed to secure intruders
for interrogation.
KEI
That's not how he... it acted.
YURI
You're right, it's not. Lord Robin was a creative genius when it came to
technology. Who knows what he did with the security system?
KEI
What are you doing?
[Yuri pulls at a wall panel near the door.]
YURI
This is a storeroom. There's no lock controls on the inside. Still, it's
not designed to hold prisoners. I figure if I can just...
[The panel pops free.]
Got it! Now I can get at the lock circuits from the back.
KEI
Cool! Can you pick the lock?
YURI
Dunno. I'll try.
[Yuri pulls a small cord from a pouch on her belt, plugs one end
into the lock circuit and the other an interface socket behind her
ear.]
------
["Lord Robin" leads Shasti's force through the maze of corridors.]
ROBIN
Say, Dawson?
[One of Shasti's men stumbles.]
DAWSON
W-what?
ROBIN
Lord Robin updated me regularly with his own memories. They're not quite as
vivid as they were to him, but they're there. So, how have you been?
DAWSON
Uh, f-fine, sir.
SHASTI
Dawson, knock it off. It's just a hologram.
ROBIN
Oh! "Just a hologram"! How cruelly she dismisses me! Do I not have
feelings?
SHASTI
I told you to lead us to the treasury. Do it!
ROBIN
I am, I am. Doesn't mean I have to like it. Sheesh!
[They walk in silence for a few moments.]
ROBIN
So, Dawson, tell me. What do you see in her?
SHASTI
Stop that!!
DAWSON
She's a fine leader. She's brilliant. She's always one step ahead of
everyone. There's no one I'd trust more to get the job done.
ROBIN
Mmm. You know, Lord Robin thought quite highly of you. You were loyal,
obedient, and extremely competant. He had been planning to promote you to
the flagship.
DAWSON
Really?
ROBIN
Yup. What's she offered you?
SHASTI
I'm warning you, Dawson. Stop talking to him.
ROBIN
Okay, fine, have it your way. What about the geek in the glasses?
ANDREW
Me?
ROBIN
Yeah, you. Boy, talk about not belonging. How'd a nine-stone weakling like
you fall in with a crowd of heavies like this?
ANDREW
Actually, I'm a psychologist. I'm here to figure out what makes-- made you
tick.
ROBIN
Neato! And your conclusions, learned doctor?
ANDREW
I think it's all an elaborate act.
["Lord Robin" raises an eyebrow.]
ROBIN
Well, that's a new one. I'd love to discuss it with you, but, unfortunately,
we've arrived.
[He stops walking.]
SHASTI
I don't see the vault.
ROBIN
I didn't say we were at the vault. I said we'd arrived.
------
[Sitting with her back against a wall, Kei stifles a yawn.]
KEI
Any progress?
YURI
Nope. None whatsoever. My back hurts. I wish this cord were longer so I
could sit down.
KEI
As I recall, you weren't able to hack into the computer on Lord Robin's
flagship, either.
YURI
I don't think there was anything to hack into. I think it was just a blind.
KEI
Well, the guy *was* crazy. Trying to figure out his motives is waste of
time, if you ask me.
YURI
But he wasn't crazy, Kei. That was just an act, to distract his enemies.
Nearly everything Lord Robin did was a diversion of some sort or another,
Acting like a lunatic, placing a fake computer so we wouldn't find his real
data, pretending to poison us during our initiation so we wouldn't run away
then assigning us to the flagship to keep an eye on us. Yeah, he was crazy.
Like a fox.
[Yuri blinks.]
Diversion...
[The door opens.]
KEI
You did it! What was the combination?
YURI
Zero-zero-zero-zero-zero. There was no combination! It was just a
diversion to keep us looking for one.
KEI
Whatever! Let's get out of here!
------
SHASTI
What's going on here?
[Robin walks about, looking aimlessly at the walls.]
ROBIN
This is the innermost part of the complex. The first part built. Lord
Robin started here then expanded outward. This was built only a year or so
after the war that killed everything on the surface, so he was still in a
real bad mood.
SHASTI
I order you to take us to the vault.
ROBIN
All kinds of nasty security devices. He never uploaded his subconscious to
me, so I can't say for sure, but I think he was hoping the help from the
United Galactica would finally arrive, so he could watch them all die.
SHASTI
I order--
ROBIN
Did I mention how he hated the United Galactica? How they just sat back and
let half a billion people die, because they wouldn't get involved in a civil
war? It was quite a grudge, let me tell you. He felt betrayed by the UG.
And if there was one thing ol' Robin could not abide, it was betrayal. He'd
be pretty P.O.'d to see his former crewmen helping some monster in heels
rip him off.
SHASTI
Nance, find an access panel. See if you can bypass the program.
[Nance, cowed, nods and obeys.]
ROBIN
It's two panels to your left, then down two.
[Nance blinks, then finds and opens the panel.]
As I was saying, I was built around the same time. My only purpose was to
repel intruders. Of course, with Lord Robin dead and his gang scattered to
the four winds, there hasn't been much chance of intruders. The 3WA's been
searching the planet for two years, but they're utterly clueless.
[Nance plugs himself in, then screams and yanks the cord out. Blood
trickles out of his nose.]
So I'm sitting here, bored out of my CPU, when it hits me. Why not *make*
some intruders? I got the chance when Nance over there tried to hack into
my database. Nasty habit, by the way. Good way to permanently scramble
your neurons.
SHASTI
The code was a fake.
ROBIN
What can I say? I'm a dick. Oh, by the way, lovely chase you've been
leading the 3WA through. I've been watching it all through the 3WA datalines.
Quite entertaining.
SHASTI
Men, weapons ready.
ROBIN
Tell you what, Shasti. You're supposed to have one of the most superior
minds in the galaxy. I'm curious to test it out.
SHASTI
Go on.
ROBIN
I'll ask you three questions. Get them right and I'll lead you to the vault.
SHASTI
Shoot.
ROBIN
Great! This should be fun. Let's see... Question number one. In the
eighty-third region of the Delta Quadrant, there is a planet whose surface
area is ninety-percent water. The second largest city on that planet has
the same name as a bird. The bird is native to a planet with a mountain
range whose name is that of the maiden name of the mother of a famous
explorer. The third major planet he discovered is rich in what element?
SHASTI
Molybdenum.
ROBIN
Very good! Question number two. What is the square root of the natural
logarithm of the seventh prime number, rounded to six decimal places?
SHASTI
1.683215.
ROBIN
Woo! She's smokin'! Now, for all the goodies: question number three. What
did one clone say to the other?
SHASTI
W-what?
["Lord Robin" hums the theme from "Jeopardy".]
ROBIN
Dum-dum-dum-dum-dum-dee-dum...
SHASTI
I don't understand the question.
ROBIN
AAANNK! Sorry. The correct answer is: "Is it just me or-- of course it
isn't."
SHASTI
That wasn't a fair question.
ROBIN
Of course it was. I would have accepted anything funny. But you're
incapable of that. For all your beauty, you're more of a machine than I am.
And now, a musical number.
[The lights dim and colored lights begin to play about as a slow soft series
of chords plays.]
PAUL
I don't like the looks of this.
SHASTI
Agreed. Back the way we came.
[The music explodes into a staccato dance beat. Lord Robin flies after them,
lip-synching lyrics as security devices come on around them.]
LORD ROBIN (lip-synching)
"Darling, you were wonderful
You really were quite good
I enjoyed it, though of course
No one understood
A word of what was going on
They didn't have a clue
They didn't understand your sense of humor like I do."
[An array of lasers comes on, cutting several of the men to ribbons. Shasti
and Paul begin firing, taking out enough lasers to dodge the rest.]
LORD ROBIN (lip-synching)
"'You're much too kind,'
I smiled, with murder on my mind."
[Several floor panels fall away, sending another man to an unknown screaming
death. Shasti and the rest leap over. Behind them, a wall of electricity
forms and gives chase.]
LORD ROBIN (lip-synching)
"Yesterday, when I was mad,
And quite prepared to give up everything,
Admitting I don't believe
In anyone since therapy, and that's what's really got to me."
[They reach an intersection and turn the corner to safety, save for the last
man, who is painfully electrocuted. The music suddenly stops. Shasti and
the others keep their weapons ready, panting and looking all around them.]
LORD ROBIN
My, you're turning out to be surprisingly hard to kill. Keep it up! Second
verse!
[The music cuts in again.]
LORD ROBIN (lip-synching)
"You had a certain quality, it really is unique
Expressed it with such irony, although your voice was weak.
It doesn't really matter, 'cause the music is so loud
Of course it's all on tape, but no-one need find out."
[Thin, horizontal poles shoot out of the walls at bullet speed, impaling two
more men. Shasti and the others take off running.]
LORD ROBIN (lip-synching)
"You hated me too,
But not as much as I hated you..."
[In the communication room, Darryn watches the massacre on a series of
screens.]
DARRYN
My god...
[Kei and Yuri are wandering around when they hear the music.]
KEI
You hear that?
YURI
Yeah. I think it's coming from that way.
KEI
Should we follow it?
YURI
I don't know. The music has to be coming from somewhere.
KEI
That's better than nowhere, which is where we are now. Let's go.
[They head toward the music.]
[Shasti's group has been reduced to herself, Andrew, Paul, Nance, and one
other man. They try desperately to outrun a group of small, hovering robots
armed with lasers. As they reach another intersection, Shasti takes the
datapad she'd taken from Nance and hurls it down one path as hard as she
can, caroming it off the walls. The robots follow the pad as Shasti and the
others run down another passage.]
PAUL
It worked!
SHASTI
They must not be heat-seeking. It won't buy us more than a few seconds,
though.
[Another floor panel falls away. Shasti, Andrew, and Nance make it safely
across, but Paul and the last man fall into the pit. Paul catches himself
with one hand, but the other hits another electrical field and is fried. The
field begins to move upward.]
PAUL
Christ! Pull me up!
[A set of doors begins to close as the robots approach.]
SHASTI
Sorry, Paul. You knew it would happen eventually.
PAUL
WHAT?!
SHASTI
If it's any consolation, I wasn't planning on letting you live through this
caper anyhow. Goodbye.
[The three slip through the doors to safety, Andrew looking at Paul
disturbedly until Shasti pushes him through.]
PAUL
SHASTIIIII!!!!
[Darryn continues to watch in horror, then his attention is grabbed by
another screen displaying the Lovely Angels as the approach their apparent
doom.]
DARRYN
WHAT--?! No! Stop!
[He tries to open a channel.]
Kei! Yuri! Can you hear me?! You have to stop! Don't go that way!!
[Paul just barely pulls himself up in time, catching his toe in the
electrocution field and yelping in pain. He staggers to his feet and sees
the robots approaching. He reaches into a satchel on his belt and pulls out
a U-shaped object. He places it around the back of his neck and fits plugs
on either end into the interface sockets behind his ears. His entire body
tenses with a jerk.]
[Shasti and the others find themselves at a dead end, all passages closed
off.]
SHASTI
Oh, fuck.
[The lip-synching hologram of Lord Robin appears as an array of lasers pop
up along the walls.]
ANDREW
This is it, isn't it?
[A door opens, and Kei and Yuri enter. "Lord Robin" sees them and suddenly
looks alarmed.]
SHASTI
You again! What do I have to do to get rid of you?!
LORD ROBIN (lip-synching)
"Then, when I was lonely,
I thought again, and changed my mind..."
[The lasers stand down and the music comes to a close.]
KEI
Shasti?!
SHASTI
What in the...
[Shasti suddenly brightens, and grins wickedly. She runs toward Yuri. The
Angels draw and shoot, but Shasti dodges, rolls and springs. With one arm,
she catches Yuri and throws her to the floor. In an instant, she has Yuri
by the neck with a gun to her head.]
SHASTI
[To Kei:]
Drop it!! NOW!!
YURI
NO! KILL HER! It's the only chance you'll get!
[Kei drops her gun, giving Shasti the stare of death.]
SHASTI
Well, well, "Lord Robin". Looks like I've discovered your weakness. I'd
heard rumors that Yuri had been special to you. Looks like they were right.
LORD ROBIN
I received data about her during my last update. I have... orders to
protect her.
[Shasti laughs.]
SHASTI
You poor fool. You had ultimate power within reach of your fingertips... and
then you fell in love! You make fun of me for not having a soul. Well, look
where your soul got you. Dead and powerless.
[Andrew looks uncomfortable.]
LORD ROBIN
(sigh) Spare me the lecture. What do you want?
SHASTI
Simple. I'm going to give you orders. You're going to follow them. The
instant I get the impression my orders aren't being followed, or you try any
kind of tricky bullshit, your girlfriend's brains paint the wall. Are we
clear?
LORD ROBIN
Crystal.
KEI
You bitch. Just you wait--!
SHASTI
First order. Get rid of her.
[A high pressure stream of gas hits Kei in the face. She passes out.]
LORD ROBIN
Done. What next?
SHASTI
I have a map. You know what the map looks like. You're the one who wrote it
and gave it to Nance. You will reconfigure the facility so it matches the
map.
[Three of the passages open.]
Ah. So, we're right here. Andrew, Nance, follow me. We have a treasury to
salvage. Oh, and Robin? I'll let you know if I need anything else.
[They exit. "Robin" stares after them. Another high-pressure gas stream
hits Kei, and she revives, coughing.]
KEI
Ugh. What happened?
LORD ROBIN
You'll be fine. Just don't drink any cocktails for a few days. Now, if
you'll follow me, we have a bitch to botch.
--- END STAGE TWELVE ---
[ "Yesterday When I Was Mad" ]
[ Copyright (c) 1993 Neil Tennant and Chris Lowe (Pet Shop Boys) ]
NEXT >>> "We're takin' you back to Elenore. They're gonna
*dissect* you!"
------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Comments? Larry and Ryan would love to read 'em!
Larry (original idea, plot, formatting, and illustrations)
is at "lrmann@uci.edu"
Ryan (plot, script)
is at "mathews1@ix.netcom.com"
------------------------------------------------------------------------
The Dirty Pair (and Company)
in
R E U N I O N S
by
Larry Mann and Ryan Mathews
------------------------------------------------------------------------
Copyright (c) 1995 Larry Mann & Ryan Mathews
------------------------------------------------------------------------
"What makes a human? What causes a person to be
human? What is the defining nature of *humanity*?"
- from a transmittal by WWWA Agent Deirdre
(#101-D, Ultima)
---------------------------
S T A G E T H I R T E E N
---------------------------
15:05:00
[Shasti, Nance, Andrew, and Yuri continue toward Lord Robin's vault, Shasti
escorting Yuri at gunpoint. Inside Shasti's mind, her personalities clash.]
SOCIAL
Because it's wrong!
DETECTIVE
"Wrong" is a relative concept.
SOCIAL
No, it's not! We can't just go using people any time we want! I won't stand
for it!
CENTRAL
I don't understand. It never bothered you before.
SOCIAL
Well, I've been thinking. And I've been thinking that I'm sick and tired of
people being scared of us. I'm tired of not being liked. I'm tired of
making friends with people, only to have the rest of you kill them when you
decide they're not needed anymore. It's not fair, it's wrong, and I'm not
going to keep quiet anymore!
LACOMBE
Being liked is pretty overrated, if you ask me. It's just more excess
baggage to carry around, having to live up to other people's opinions of you.
SOCIAL
What about Andy?
CENTRAL
Andy...
SOCIAL
Look at him. He's staring at us, wondering if we'll actually do it, actually
shoot her in the head. And he's wondering what he'll do if that happens.
CENTRAL
I hadn't thought about Andy.
WARRIOR
I'm not letting Yuri go. We need her. She's the only weapon we have.
DETECTIVE
Agreed. May I suggest a compromise?
CENTRAL
Sure, go ahead.
DETECTIVE
We keep Yuri for insurance, as planned. When we've accomplished our goal,
rather than kill her, we render her unconscious and leave her for her friends
to find.
LACOMBE
NO! That goes against everything I've taught you! You don't leave any
loose ends laying around!
CENTRAL
We've left Yuri as a loose end twice already. Once more won't make any
difference. Is this okay with you, Social?
SOCIAL
It's wonderful! Andy will love us for it! Thank you so much!
[Deirdre whispers to the Social Personality.]
DEIRDRE
Way to go, girl.
[The Social Personality blushes. Behind them, LaCombe glares.]
------
["Lord Robin" leads Kei.]
KEI
Where are we going?
ROBIN
To meet a friend of yours I've been saving for a rainy day. Ah! Here we
are.
[They arrive where Rumiko is being kept in a force field.]
RUMIKO
Kei!
KEI
Rumiko!
ROBIN
You're on, ladies! Break a leg!
[Robin vanishes, along with the force field.]
RUMIKO
Now what do we do?
[Lights begin cascading along the ceiling.]
KEI
Guess we follow the lights.
------
[Shasti and the others continue toward the vault.]
YURI
You're never going to get away with this, you know.
SHASTI
Is that the best you can come up with? That ranks right up there with "I
don't know what you're talking about", and "We can make a deal".
YURI
Hey, Andy, you don't really think you're going to get out of this one
alive, do you?
SHASTI
Shut up.
YURI
Boy, you should have been there for the _Lyra_ caper. Shasti wasn't that
difficult to find, actually. Just followed the trail of dead bodies. "Use
'em and lose 'em", that's Shasti's philosoph--URGH!
[Shasti clamps tighter on Yuri's neck.]
SHASTI
I told you to shut up.
NANCE
You're not tellin' us anything we don't know already, girl. Let it drop.
YURI
How's your shoulder?
[Nance's shoulder is red from where Shasti had him shot.]
NANCE
If by that, you're asking why I'm staying with her, it's because I want the
money.
YURI
You'll end up just like the others--OW!
SHASTI
Just because I can't kill you, doesn't mean I can't break every bone in
your body.
YURI
Do your worst.
SHASTI
Trust me, you don't want me to. Just shut up. You won't accomplish anything
anyway. Andy knows I love him, and he loves me.
YURI
Is that right, Andy?
ANDREW
Yes. I'm sorry, but you're wrong, Yuri. You don't know anything about
Shasti. Yes, she let Paul die. I might have, too. The guy was a monster.
But Shasti's ready to turn over a new page, and I'm going to stay and help
her.
YURI
It may be a new page, but it's the same book.
------
[The metal doors that sealed Paul to his doom literally explode outward,
fragmenting into shards. Paul staggers out. Behind him are the remains of
the small robots that had attacked him. Paul tenses, clenching his teeth.]
PAUL
Ggrrgnnhhzzkkkggkl...
[A small trickle of blood comes out his nose. He wipes it off.]
Gotta hold it together. Gotta hang on.
[He heads after the others.]
------
[Shasti, Nance, Andrew, and Yuri continue toward the vault.]
SHASTI
Come on, Nance, pick up the pace.
NANCE
I'm sorry. I'm in pain. I think you understand why.
SHASTI
If you'd cooperated, you wouldn't be in pain. It's just a little
further--UNH!
[A wall panel slides open, and a fist connects with Shasti's jaw. Wasting no
time in taking the initiative, Yuri drops out of Shasti's loosened grasp and
elbows Shasti in the gut, then follows with a spinning kick to the head.]
ANDREW
Leave her ALONE!
[He charges Yuri. Another elbow renders him harmless, curled up on
the floor gagging.]
[Shasti spins to get a bearing on Yuri and runs into Kei, who decks her.]
KEI
GOD, that felt *great*!
[Shasti springs to her feet and finds herself surrounded by Kei, Yuri, and
Rumiko. They circle her slowly.]
YURI
Keep alert, guys! Stay evenly spaced! The first move she makes toward one
of us, the other two have to attack her simultaneously from the back! Be
alert for a feint!
KEI
Hey, I know the drill! She's not getting away this time.
SHASTI
Nance, help me.
[Nance laughs out loud.]
NANCE
You gotta be joking! Nah, I think I'll head toward the vault. I'll have it
open for you if you make it, if not, well, life's a bitch.
YURI
Let him go! Don't even look at him! Keep your eyes on Shasti!
KEI & RUMIKO
Understood!
[Rumiko slowly pulls out the trank-plug gun.]
KEI
God, I've waited so long for this.
[Shasti spits at her.]
Is that what you're reduced to? You're gonna pay. Gonna pay big time.
We're takin' you back to Elenore. They're gonna *dissect* you! Find out just
which screws are loose in that sick excuse for a mind of yours!
SHASTI
Fuck you.
YURI
Keep quiet, Kei. Don't make her mad.
RUMIKO
You can't blame her, Yuri. We know how she feels. After what she did to
Darryn, I can't help but want to hurt her.
[Shasti blinks.]
SHASTI
Darryn. Thank you so much. I'd completely forgotten. I must be slipping
after all. Oh, Rumiko... "The green cat meows backwards."
RUMIKO
W-what?
SHASTI
Don't you see, Rumiko? I'm not your enemy. The Angels are. They brought
you here to kill you.
[Kei laughs.]
KEI
What the hell? Do you really think--
RUMIKO
You... BITCHES!
[Rumiko pounces on Kei.]
KEI
Hey! What are you doing? OOF!
RUMIKO
How could you do this? How could you betray me?!
KEI
What the hell are you talking about??
[She dodges as Rumiko attacks.]
YURI
Rumiko, no!
[Suddenly, Shasti has her at gunpoint again.]
Oh, shit.
SHASTI
Come, Andrew, let's go.
ANDREW
But, what about...?
SHASTI
Oh, don't worry about them. I hear the 3WA is instituting a wonderful
cloning program.
[Shasti, Andrew, and Yuri leave.]
KEI
Rumiko, she's getting away--YAAH!
[Kei ducks as Rumiko's kick dents the wall.]
Oh, shit, you're running that ninjitsu package...
[Rumiko suddenly grabs her head.]
RUMIKO
Uuhhh.
[Kei runs up to her.]
KEI
That's it! Fight it off! You can--UNGH!
[Kei touches Rumiko and is rewarded with an arm-thrust to the face.
She gets to her feet and wipes blood off her chin.]
Oh, brilliant move, Kei.
DARRYN (voice)
Kei? Kei, can you hear me?
KEI
Darryn, is that you?!
DARRYN
It's me. I'm in a communications center. I couldn't get the terminals to
work, but now they've come on by themselves.
KEI
What's wrong with Rumiko?
[Rumiko continues to hold her head and groan.]
DARRYN
I think she caught the wetware virus Shasti gave to me. She must have
gotten it through our CyberAudio link. I'm trying to use the link now to
deprogram her. Given the experience I've had with the virus, I should be
able to-- KEI, WATCH OUT!!
[Rumiko attacks savagely, but Kei manages to dodge.]
KEI
Thanks, Darryn!
DARRYN
I'd stay away from her until I'm finished.
KEI
No argument here.
------
[Shasti, Andrew, and Yuri arrive at the vault, where Nance is busy with
the lock.]
NANCE
Hey, you made it! Can't say I'm pleased.
SHASTI
We don't have time for this. "Lord Robin"! Open the vault!
ROBIN (voice)
I can't.
SHASTI
Open the goddamn vault, or she suffers!
YURI
Kill her, Robin! Kill all of us! It's worth it to--gggllk...!
[Shasti tightens her grip around Yuri's neck.]
ROBIN
The vault is on a separate circuit. Hurting Yuri will accomplish nothing,
save to make me very... very... angry.
NANCE
Look, relax, already, will ya.
[The vault opens, its enormous metal door sliding rapidly.]
There. After you.
SHASTI
Wonderful! Thank you, Nance. Your service has been appreciated.
[She shoots him in the head. Blood paints the lock controls. Nance slumps
to the floor, dead, smearing a trail of blood across the wall.]
ANDREW
Shasti!
SHASTI
Don't start, Andy! The little bastard left me to die.
YURI
Like you left Paul?
SHASTI
Get in there.
[The three enter the vault. Inside are stacked, as far as the eye can see,
ingots of gold, silver, platinum, and many other metals.]
SHASTI
Oh... my... god...
[She and Andrew wander around, stunned by the sheer quantity of the loot.
Even Yuri is impressed.]
YURI
Whoa...
ANDREW
He must have touched hardly any of it.
SHASTI
There's enough money here to... to do anything. Anything!
[Behind them, there is a sliding noise, and a loud bang. They turn to see
the vault has closed.]
NANCE (voice)
HA HA HA! SAYONARA, BITCH!
SHASTI (stunned)
*Nance*?! How...?!
NANCE
I'm a genius, Shasti, that's how! I got into and out of the vault before you
arrived! Then I took control of the local hologram projection system to make
a fake "me"! Haha! Ronald Nance, the man who conned Shasti! I'm gonna like
this reputation.
[Shasti releases Yuri and tries to open the door.]
NANCE
Oh, please. You can forget about getting out of there.
SHASTI
DAMN YOU!
NANCE
Thank you, thank you! Now, if you'll excuse me, I'm going to take my nest
egg, get out of this godforsaken hellhole, and spread the word about how
smart I am! Enjoy your vaporization!
[The voice cuts out.]
ANDREW
What does he mean, "vaporization"?
SHASTI
The plan had been to bring the ship down here using the half-warp drive and
tractor the metal on board. Of course the ship's engines would be going
full blast fighting the gravity well, so the metal would melt, but we could
separate it later.
YURI
Ha! So this is the end. I just hope I last long enough to see you burn
first.
SHASTI
Sorry to disappoint you, but I had my own plan. We're in no danger... Wait.
[She starts to giggle.]
He doesn't know! He thinks I'm following the official plan. That means
he'll use the shuttle to escape! "Genius" indeed...
[She checks her watch.]
Shit. I don't have time for this. The distraction's about to start.
------
[On the bridge of the _Artemis_, consoles begin to come alive of their own
accord. The crew struggles to regain control, with no success. The massive
cruiser emerges from mock-space, seeming to appear out of nowhere. The
ship's pulse cannons power up and begin to fire at the planet, the energy
bursts scattering off the planetary force-field.]
------
[Kei continues dodging Rumiko's attack.]
RUMIKO
Traitor!
KEI
Rumiko, it's me! Your friend! You know I'd never--
DARRYN
Don't talk to her! It's only making it more difficult to do this!
KEI
But if I talk some sense into her, maybe--!
[In the instant's distraction, Rumiko manages to pin Kei against a
wall. She pulls her hand back to administer the killing blow.]
DARRYN
Got it!
[Rumiko freezes.]
RUMIKO
Kei? I-- I'm so sorry, I didn't... I don't...
[Kei sighes in relief.]
KEI
Hey, forget about it. I--
[Rumiko kisses Kei on the lips, then passes out.]
DARRYN
Sorry about that. The aftershock was bound to cause some unpredictable
behavior. She'll be back to normal when she comes around.
[pause]
Kei?
[Kei stares blankly ahead, wide-eyed.]
------
[Nance slowly carries his bag of loot, struggling, using both hands. He
encounters Paul.]
NANCE
Paul! You're alive!
[Paul looks tense enough to snap in two.]
PAUL
N-no thanks to you.
NANCE
Hey, this business doesn't exactly lend itself to saving other people's lives,
you know. You said that yourself.
PAUL
Where's shhhhhhhh--rgh! Shasti?
NANCE
You okay, man?
PAUL
Where is she?!!
NANCE
She got herself locked in the vault. She'll be dead soon. Why, do you care?
[He hefts the bag.]
Got at least a few million credits here. What say we split it?
[Paul looks at him strangely.]
Hm?
[His arm a blur, Paul quickly punches Nance in the chest. Nance drops the
bag and stumbles back, stunned. He emits a strangled, wheezing sound, then
blood gushes from his mouth like a fountain. A second later, he explodes
violently, splattering Paul with blood. Paul picks up the bag, effortlessly,
and heads back the way Nance had come.]
------
[In orbit, 3WA fighter craft scramble to attack the new threat, which
continues to fire on the force-field.]
------
[Inside the vault, Shasti assembles a small, thin, device about a meter high.
Yuri watches, no longer held at gunpoint.]
YURI
What are you doing?
SHASTI
If you're trying to distract me, don't bother. I'm incapable of being
distracted. You'll be dead about a millisecond after you try whatever it is
you're planning.
YURI
Well, then, there's nothing wrong in answering a few questions, right?
SHASTI
(sigh) Knock yourself out.
YURI
What is that thing?
SHASTI
A half-warp assimilation field generator. Any space surrounded by an
assimilation field that comes into contact with an area of mock-space gets
sucked into the mock-space.
YURI
Oh. That must be how a shuttle can land on a half-warped ship.
SHASTI
Very good.
YURI
But if you already had half-warp, why did you need to attack that scientist
on Bydon?
SHASTI
Because we *didn't* have half-warp, not all of it, anyway. We thought we had
a working system, but once we warped into mock-space, we found we couldn't
get back out.
YURI
Then you must have used half-warp to pull off those robberies.
SHASTI
Exactly. Lord Robin's scientists had developed an experimental system that
could take a mock-space field from the ship down to the planet. Of course,
once the power ran out, the effect was a little messy.
YURI
I'll say. A lot of people died in those explosions.
SHASTI
Are we going to start this again?
YURI
Sure, why not? You still think Shasti's capable of being your little angel
again, Andrew?
ANDREW
Any psychologist will tell you that stressful situations like these are not
good times to draw conclusions about a person's mental health.
YURI
Well, you better do it soon. Unless you really think you're going to live
much longer.
SHASTI
You don't give up, do you? If I was going to kill Andy, don't you think I
would've done it already? Ah! Finished.
[She turns the device on.]
YURI
A fat lot of good that'll do you. You should have been working on how to get
out of here.
SHASTI
I was working on it, and still am. My brain is capable of multitasking.
YURI
Just one last question.
SHASTI
Whatever.
YURI
You went to all that trouble to get the gravity-well compensator, then you
just traded it for something, I'd guess information on how to get through the
planetary force-field.
SHASTI
Close enough.
YURI
Why not just use the compensator and the half-warp drive together? You
could've warped right inside the force-field and let your shuttle out from
there. With the compensator on, manuevering wouldn't have been a problem.
[Shasti laughs.]
SHASTI
And here I thought you were a science-whiz, Yuri. You haven't been keeping
up with the journals.
YURI
I don't understand.
------
[Deep within the bowels of the mountain, the half of the _Lovely_Angel_
containing the engines begins to vibrate softly.]
------
SHASTI
Yuri, the gravity-well compensator and the half-warp drive use similar
concepts. The half-warp drive uses anti-gravity to force a ship out of
phase with the universe. The compensator uses a similar force to cancel the
effect of gravity on warp travel.
------
[The vibration becomes more intense. The ship begins to hum, softly at first,
then building in pitch.]
------
SHASTI
If the two technologies were active, even within a thousand kilometers of
each other, the result would be massive feedback.
------
[The humming builds to a deafening, high-pitched whine...]
------
SHASTI
The engines would explode like a bomb.
[Yuri winces.]
YURI
Uh-oh...
[Realization begins to dawn on Shasti.]
SHASTI
Wait a minute. You got here *ahead* of me. How could you have done that,
unless...oh, no. Oh, SHIT!!!
[She runs to the field generator to shut it off.]
------
[BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOMMMMM!!]
--- END STAGE THIRTEEN ---
TO BE CONCLUDED >>> "I will *not* be outsmarted by some grinning, lunatic
buffoon! Especially not by a dead one!"
------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Comments? Larry and Ryan would love to read 'em!
Larry (original idea, plot, formatting, and illustrations)
is at "lrmann@uci.edu"
Ryan (plot, script)
is at "mathews1@ix.netcom.com"
[ILLUSTRATIONS AVAILABLE]
------------------------------------------------------------------------
The Dirty Pair (and Company)
in
R E U N I O N S
by
Larry Mann and Ryan Mathews
------------------------------------------------------------------------
I've grown accustomed to your deception
Comes the rule with no exception
And I've been dragged across the river
running far and wide
Come and see how I feel inside
-- SUGAR, "Changes"
---------------------------
S T A G E F O U R T E E N
---------------------------
[The shockwave hits every part of the complex. Inside the vault, Shasti,
Andrew, and Yuri are tossed around like dolls. Darryn holds onto the
communications console for dear life. Kei frantically tries to wake an
unconscious Rumiko.]
KEI
Rumiko! RUMIKO!!
RUMIKO
Huh? What the hell is going on?
KEI
I don't know, but I think it's time to think about getting out of here.
RUMIKO
I left a small transmitter in Shasti's shuttle.
KEI
Great!
[She touches an earring.]
Mughi! Are you okay?
MUGHI (voice)
Mrowl!
KEI
Good! I want you to home in on the following frequency...
------
[Shasti picks herself up, testing her limbs.]
SHASTI
Damn it. Damn you bitches. You always manage to do something STUPID that I
can't predict!
YURI
So sorry to inconvenience you.
SHASTI
Are you okay, Andy?
ANDREW
Yeah, I'm fine. I dinged my head pretty good, but it's nothing serious.
[Shasti checks out the assimiliation field generator.]
SHASTI
Well, that's a stroke of luck. It's still in working order. Now, on to the
problem of getting out of here.
[The floor begins to vibrate.]
What the hell?!
[Everything begins to shake violently once more. All are thrown off their
feet.]
SHASTI
What is this? An aftershock?!
[As Andrew falls, his glasses fall off. He dives for them, just as a stack
of gold ingots collapses.]
SHASTI
ANDY!!!!!
[She pulls him to safety a split-second before the metal comes
crashing down.]
[Yuri is thrown against the vault door, which opens just long enough to let
her fall through.]
SHASTI
Hell. I'd better check the generator again. I wonder how many more of these
shocks we can expect?
LORD ROBIN
Oh, lots more. Lots, lots, lots, lots, LOTS!
[Shasti turns around to see the Lord Robin hologram in the vault with them.]
SHASTI
What? Where's Yuri?!
LORD ROBIN
Safe. She's safe, and you're trapped *inside* a safe. See how nicely that
works out?
SHASTI
You said you couldn't operate the door.
LORD ROBIN
I lied. Hey, I *said* I was a dick, didn't I? You weren't paying attention.
[The floor begins vibrating again.]
Ooooh! Here comes another one!
[More stacks of ingots collapse, but Andrew stays safely out of the way.
With effort, Shasti manages to remain standing.]
LORD ROBIN
Yeah! Shasti the surfin' queen! That's the nice thing about being a
hologram. I don't have to worry about my balance.
[His image flickers.]
Of course, there are other disadvantages...
SHASTI
What's going on?! These aren't ordinary aftershocks, are they?!
LORD ROBIN
Sorry, that's two questions.
SHASTI
DAMN YOU!
LORD ROBIN
Sheeze! Temper, temper! See, it's stopping.
[The shaking comes to a halt.]
'Course, it won't stay that way.
SHASTI
It's something to do with this planet, isn't it? The nuclear war must have
rendered it tectonically unstable.
LORD ROBIN
Close, but no cigar. It's not the planet, it's the mountain. It's not
your standard, run-of-the-mill mountain, you see.
[Shasti goes pale.]
SHASTI
You built inside an inactive volcano.
LORD ROBIN
Well, it was inactive when I built it. But not anymooooore! Yup, I give
this place maybe a hour before it goes sky-high.
SHASTI
Then you won't have anything to protect. So you have no reason to keep us
here.
LORD ROBIN
Sure there is. I don't like you.
[Shasti glares.]
And besides, the only way I can be certain that you won't take anything is
to keep you here until the bitter end. Hey, tell ya what, though. I'll make
you a deal. Strip nude and dance a jig and I'll open the door.
SHASTI
Very funny.
LORD ROBIN
Who's joking?
SHASTI
You'll let me out if I humiliate myself in front of you?!
LORD ROBIN
My, you *do* have an advanced brain, don't you?
SHASTI
Forget it. You've told us nothing but lies up to this point.
ANDREW
Believe him.
SHASTI
Andy?
ANDREW
Look, this isn't your ordinary security system. It seems to have a
personality, and it must realize that there's no point in protecting
something that's about to be destroyed anyway. All he wants is to get the
better of you. Do he what he wants, and he'll be satisfied.
[Shasti thinks it over. Suddenly the vault begins to shake again.]
LORD ROBIN
Oh, dear. Looks like I'm not going to be able to do anything after all.
[His image flickers, wavers, then blinks out.]
SHASTI
Robin? Lord Robin!! Damn you, come back! Shit!
------
[Yuri and Kei find each other.]
YURI
KEI!!
[They hug.]
KEI
Oh, man, am I glad to see you!
YURI
Same here! For a moment there, I was having trouble tracking your signal.
And this place is like a maze anyway...
KEI
How'd you get loose?
YURI
I think...
[Another tremor hits.]
I think we'd better save the talking for later!!
KEI
No kidding! C'mon, the others are waiting for us at the shuttle!
------
[Shasti is jacked into some circuitry behind a panel she's torn loose. When
the tremor hits, she is thrown backwards, tearing her loose.]
SHASTI
OW! *DAMN*-IT!
ANDREW
Are you okay?
SHASTI
I'm fine! Everything is just *fucking* fine! I can't seem to interface with
this system. It makes no sense!
ANDREW
Maybe it's not supposed to.
SHASTI
I will *not* be outsmarted by some grinning, lunatic buffoon! Especially
not by a dead one!
[She jacks herself back in.]
[There is a horrendous creaking noise from behind them. Andrew watches as
the floor begins to give way, stacks of ingots disappearing, one by one.]
ANDREW
Uhhhh, SHASTI?!
[Shasti looks.]
SHASTI
Oh, shit. Oh, damn it.
[She concentrates, but the door refuses to move. The collapse
continues, as the weight of the metal pushes the edge of the hole
closer.]
SHIT!
[She pulls the cords from her sockets and attempts to open the door
with her bare hands.]
NNNGGGHH!
[No luck.]
ANDREW
Have you tried pressing the switch?
SHASTI
Of course!
ANDREW
I mean, since he left?!
SHASTI
No! But--!
[Andrew presses the switch. The door opens a few centimeters, then slams
shut.]
SHASTI
Do it again!
[He hits the switch. Shasti slips her hands in to force the door
open, but the door slams shut on them.]
AAAAGGGGHH!
[Andy hits the switch again. Shasti gets her hands out and puts them
in her mouth.]
Just what we need. Another sick joke.
ANDREW
Joke. He said something about having a sense of humor...
[Andrew taps out "Shave and a Haircut" on the switch. As he hits the
last beat, the door slams open and stays open.]
I'll be damned!
[Shasti and Andrew run through just as the rest of the vault collapses.
Shasti watches in despair as all the gold and platinum fall into a river of
molten lava.]
------
[LaCombe gloats.]
LACOMBE
Well well well. Look where we are. Square one. It's all gone, Shasti.
Everything's gone. I brought you this close to ultimate freedom, and you
blew it. Now, are you going to listen to me, or do you want to see if you
can fall farther?
DEIRDRE
Don't listen to him! He--!
[The Central Mind holds up a hand to silence her.]
------
ANDREW
I'm surprised that worked. I guess I'm a better psychologist than I thought
I was.
SHASTI
You are. You really helped me out. Which just makes this all the more
harder.
[Slowly, she draws her gun and levels it and Andrew.]
ANDREW
Shasti?
------
[The Central Mind appears to hold the gun, aiming it at Andrew, unseen.]
DEIRDRE
What are you doing?
SOCIAL
You can't!
LACOMBE
Do it! It's your only chance!
CENTRAL
SHUT UP! All of you!!
------
SHASTI
I've lost everything, Andy. I've got nothing now. I have to get out of
here, and I have to start over from the bottom. I can't drag you around, and
I can't let you help them to find me again.
ANDREW
Shasti, I...
SHASTI
I'm sorry.
------
[The Central Mind keeps the gun steady, but doesn't fire.]
LACOMBE
WELL??!
CENTRAL
I said shut up, okay?! Just, just give me a moment.
------
SHASTI
Why aren't you running?
ANDREW
Why aren't you firing?
SHASTI
Dammit, Andy, do you *want* to die?!
ANDREW
No. But I promised I'd stay with you, and this time I'm keeping my promise.
Even if it means dying at your side.
[Shasti eyes begin to fill with tears. She lowers the gun.]
------
CENTRAL
I can't do it.
LACOMBE
You *have* to! You told him the truth! He's excess baggage!
CENTRAL
But I *love* him! I've lost everything else. I don't want to lose him too.
SOCIAL
That's right! I'm so glad you understand!
------
SHASTI
Andy, I...
------
LACOMBE
I'm sorry, Shasti, but this is for your own good. WARRIOR! TAKE OVER!
[The Central Mind and the Warrior switch places, so that Warrior now
holds the gun. The Central Mind is speechless with surprise.]
Kill him.
WARRIOR (enthusiastically)
Yes, SIR!
------
[Shasti's expression becomes ice cold. She levels the guns again and tenses.
Andrew gasps.]
------
[The Central Mind screams.]
CENTRAL (enraged)
NNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNOOOOOO!!
[All stop to look at her.]
PUT!! THE GUN!! DOWN!!!
[The Warrior swallows and does as she's told.]
WARRIOR
I--! I'm sorry! I was just--! I was told--! I thought you--!
CENTRAL
Get out!
WARRIOR
Y-y-yes, ma'am!
[The Warrior and the Central Mind switch places once more.]
------
[Shasti's expression softens, and she lowers the gun.]
ANDREW
Shasti?
SHASTI
Andy...
[He approaches her, cautiously. She drops the gun and rushes into his arms,
weeping.]
SHASTI
I almost... I almost...
ANDREW
But you didn't. And that's all that matters.
------
LACOMBE
God, what a revolting scene. Fine, have it your way. We can always get rid
of him later.
[The Central Mind whirls to face him, furious.]
Hey, calm down, alright? No need to--
[The Central Mind's "clothing" changes, becoming a 3WA trouble
consultant uniform.]
Hey, what are you doing?!
CENTRAL
What I should have done five years ago.
[The floor begins to engulf LaCombe. His feet are trapped, then his legs.]
LACOMBE
You can't do this! You-- you need me! We need each other! We're a *team*,
damn it!
[The metal covers his hips, then his arms and torso.]
Please! Stop it! Look, I'm sure we could fit Andrew into the plan somehow!
Give me a chance!
[The metal begins to creep over his head.]
Please! I'm begging you! Don't do this to me! Oh my God! NOOOOOOOO--!
[All that remains of LaCombe is a metal statue.]
CENTRAL
I did it. I really did it!
[Deirdre and the Social Personality hug her.]
DEIRDRE
I am so *proud* of you!
SOCIAL
Yeah, me too!
------
ANDREW
Shasti, are you sure you're alright?
[She smiles at him.]
SHASTI
I've never been better.
[They kiss.]
[Someone applauds sarcastically. They turn to see Paul.]
PAUL
Oh, how *touching*. Pardon me while I vomit.
------
[Kei and Yuri run for the shuttle bay. As they reach the entrance, Kei gets
a call on her earring.]
RUMIKO
Kei? This is Rumiko.
KEI
Go ahead.
RUMIKO
Bad news. The radiation level's pretty nasty in here. I figured they had
good reason to wear those suits.
KEI
Understood! Yuri, we got a lot of rads between us and the shuttle. Feel up
to a sprint?
YURI
Sure. Nothing like the threat of glowing in the dark to put life in your
legs. Let's go!
[Kei opens the door, and the two girls bolt ahead as fast as their legs can
carry them.]
------
[Shasti reaches for her gun, only to remember how she dropped it. Paul holds
it up.]
PAUL
Looking for this?
[He tosses it casually into the air, then strikes out with two
fingers.]
KAI--!!
[The gun shatters into tiny fragments which spray out in all
directions.]
SHASTI
Oh, Christ. You're wearing the JONIN package...
[Paul smiles and turns around, displaying the band of metal traversing the
back of his head between the interface sockets behind his ears.]
PAUL
Like it? I think it's quite stylish.
SHASTI
It's going to kill you if you don't take it off immediately.
PAUL
I don't think so. I have some business to take care of.
SHASTI
Revenge? I never thought you were the type.
PAUL
And I never thought you were the type to dump me for a weakling in glasses.
Just goes to show, we're all capable of surprises.
SHASTI
"Dump you"? You make it sound like I was your girlfriend. Paul, are you
trying to tell me...
PAUL
That I loved you? Don't be ridiculous.
SHASTI
Then...?
PAUL
I haven't accomplished much in my life, Shasti. I've always been a schemer,
and I've pulled off more than a few decent capers, but nothing that would
set me up for more than a year. No, my only real accomplishment, the only
thing I could really be proud of, was you.
[Shasti blinks in surprise.]
"Shasti". The name inspires fear and wonder in the underworld, even among
those who've never even seen you. She's brilliant, they say. Brilliant,
beautiful, and deadly. She's mysterious, because no one has ever lived long
enough to spread any information about her. And I could say, "Shasti? Yeah,
I've heard of her. She's my partner. We work together. We sleep together."
[He begins to approach her. Shasti motions Andrew to stay behind
her.]
No, I never loved you. But I wanted you. I still want you. And I'll be
damned if you're going to take the one thing that meant anything to me and
give it to some pathetic little shit like him!
SHASTI
You don't have to do this, Paul. Take the brainware off and we'll talk.
PAUL
No. I've never been much for talk. Besides, the brain damage is probably
irreversable by now.
SHASTI
You don't know that! Listen--!
PAUL
SHUT UP AND DIE!!
[Paul lashes out. Shasti dodges, and the wall behind her shatters as
if it had been struck.]
------
[The Angels get inside the shuttle, out of breath. Rumiko closes the hatch
behind them.]
RUMIKO
How long were you exposed?
YURI
About (puff) about fifteen seconds...
RUMIKO
That shouldn't be a problem.
[The shuttle shudders.]
Good! Darryn's taking off. Let's get to the bridge!
------
[Paul toys with Shasti, baiting her in with supposedly easy openings, then
moving so fast he appears to teleport and sending her reeling across the
floor.]
PAUL
Come on, bitch! This the best you can do? All that 3WA programming and
those hard-wired reflexes don't seem to be amounting to much!
[Shasti moves around him slowly. She tries a feint, moving as if to kick,
then striking out with a straight-arm. Her blow strikes his chin, which
doesn't move a millimeter. She stumbles backward, howling and clutching her
arm.]
PAUL
Broken? Good.
[A fist strikes out like lightning. Shasti flies through the air and
strikes the wall, cracking it.]
SHASTI (weakly)
Andy, run.
ANDREW
What?
SHASTI
He'll kill you. You have to--AAAH!
[Paul's fist punctures the wall next to Shasti's head.]
PAUL
PAY ATTENTION!
[Shasti quickly rolls to the side and sweeps Paul's legs out from under him.
Before he can react, she gets behind him and gets him in a headlock. She
tries to squeeze his windpipe shut, but Paul just smiles.]
SHASTI
Oh, sh-shit...
[Paul stands up, whirls and sends her flying screaming through the air to
impact the opposite wall.]
PAUL
AuuuuuuggggUGH!
[A quick spray of blood fires out his nose.]
Not... much time. Better finish this...
[He begins to gesture, making a low growl. The air in front of him
begins to ripple as if from an extreme heat source.]
[Shasti tries to get up, but finds she can't. She looks up in helpless
terror as Paul prepares his coup de grace.]
[Andrew, ignored, begins to approach Paul from behind. A minute change in
Shasti's expression gives him away, however, and the moment he touches Paul,
he flies backward, repelled.]
PAUL
GrrrrrrrRRRRRRAAAAAAGGGHHH!
[The ground begins to tremble. But not because of Paul.]
------
[On the bridge of the shuttle, Darryn feels it coming.]
DARRYN
Oh, hell, here comes another one! HOLD ON!
[The shuttle tries to take off, but the tremor causes the ground to come up
and meet it. The passengers are bounced around, holding onto their seats for
dear life.]
------
[Paul wobbles, momentarily losing his balance. Suddenly, Shasti is free, and
she charges, knocking him down. She gets her hand around the back of his
head and pulls the brainware off.]
PAUL
GNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGHHHH--!
[Every muscle in Paul's body tenses, and he dies, frozen, his jaws clenched
and his eyes bulging.]
SHASTI
Aw, no. I didn't think that would kill him...
------
[The shuttle heads for the exit to the landing bay. The immense steel doors
are closed.]
RUMIKO
Do you know how to get these things to open?
DARRYN
No, but then we don't have to be as subtle as Shasti was. Kei, if you'll do
the honors?
KEI
My pleasure!
[Kei hits a few switches, and the shuttle's laser cannons come to life,
blasting a hole in the door. The shuttle flies through to safety. Darryn,
Rumiko, and Kei cheer, but Yuri looks worried.]
DARRYN
Alright! Let's get as much distance from this mountain as we can before it
blows!
KEI
Hey, Yuri, what's wrong? Shasti's about to get blown to smithereens and
you're all mopey.
YURI
Something's wrong. I can't put my finger on it.
------
[Shasti looks sadly at Paul's corpse.]
SHASTI
Oh, Paul. What a way to end a life.
ANDREW
Shasti?
SHASTI
If he'd just told me...
ANDREW
It would have been the end of your relationship, and you know it. Come on!
SHASTI
I was scared. For the first time in as long as I can remember, I was in a
life-and-death struggle, and I was *scared*!
ANDREW
SHASTI!
[He shakes her.]
Look, I know this is taking some getting used to, but I need the Trouble
Consultant Shasti back. We're in grave danger, and you're the only one who
knows what to do!
SHASTI
I'm sorry, Andy. Give me a moment.
[She closes her eyes and takes a deep breath. When she opens them,
she looks much like her old self again.]
Okay, let's go. Follow me!
ANDREW
Where to?
SHASTI
Lord Robin's private shuttle bay. There was a symbol on the map for it, but
Nance didn't know what it meant. It was the way I intended to escape after
I'd ditched the rest of my gang. There should be at least one warp-capable
shuttle there.
ANDREW
How are we going to get past the 3WA? Their ships must be swarming out
there.
SHASTI
Believe me, the 3WA is not going to be a problem. Shit...
ANDREW
What's wrong?
SHASTI
Nothing. Just a little guilt. It's tough having your conscience return
after it's too late to change your mind...
------
[The battle between the _Artemis_ and the 3WA forces continues, with neither
side gaining much of an advantage. Suddenly, the _Artemis_ explodes, the
immense fireball destroying the forces on both sides.]
------
[The trouble consultants watch from down below.]
RUMIKO
Whoa. Must've been a lucky shot.
KEI
Stupid shot, if you ask me. They blew themselves up along with 'em.
YURI
No. No!
[All turn to look at Yuri.]
This makes perfect sense. What was Shasti's prime rule? Never leave any
loose ends! She killed each and every one of her accomplices during the
_Lyra_ caper!
DARRYN
Well, how was she planning to get away? This shuttle doesn't have a warp
generator.
[Yuri goes pale and stands up.]
YURI
She wasn't going to use the shuttle. *That's* what she said. She was
laughing at Nance for using the shuttle to escape! The shuttle must be
rigged!
RUMIKO
My god. I'll bet she's right.
YURI
I'm going to take a look at the engine.
KEI
I'll help!
------
[Shasti and Andrew enter the shuttle bay to find a single shuttle waiting for
them.]
SHASTI
There it is. Freedom!
ANDREW
Let's not waste any time!
[Another tremor hits, bigger than any of the others. The two are unable to
stand and are tossed around on the floor. The shuttle bay begins to
collapse, showering them with debris. Finally, the tremor passes.]
ANDREW
We'd better get out of here. How much time do you think we have?
[Shasti doesn't reply.]
Shasti?
[Shasti is pinned from the chest down under a large chunk of metal.]
ANDREW
Ohmigod! Shasti! Are you okay?! Can you breathe?!
SHASTI
Y-yes. Barely. But I can't move.
ANDREW
Use your strength! Try to push yourself free!
SHASTI
I've tried. UNNNNNF!
[She pushes.]
It won't move more than a few centimeters.
ANDREW
Well, you have to keep trying! This place is going to blow sky-high in a
minute or two! I'll help.
SHASTI
No. Go.
ANDREW
Shasti, I--
SHASTI
Go! There's no sense in both of us dying. I don't think there's a lock on
the shuttle. It's already in a secure place. If there is a lock, I'm sure
you can figure it out.
ANDREW
I'm not going without you.
SHASTI
You moron! Do you *want* to die?
ANDREW
No. But I made a promise to stay by your side, and goddammit, this time I'm
keeping it.
[Shasti's eyes get moist.]
SHASTI
You sweet little idiot...
------
[Yuri looks at the engine through some panels she removed in the back of the
shuttle. She finds a small device attached to the main power conduits.]
KEI
Oh, shit!
YURI
Ah. You recognize it, too.
RUMIKO
What is it?
[Kei walks back to the bridge.]
KEI
Yuri found a power transmitter attached to the engine. It's a tricky device.
It's hooked into the navigational computers. Ideally, after we've traveled
a certain distance, it shoves three times as much power as the engines can
handle through the conduit, and we explode. But... Just in case we become
unpredictable, if we try to remove it, it goes off. If we try to land, it
goes off. If we shut off the computers, it--
DARRYN
I get the picture. What do we do?
KEI
Yuri's had some experience disarming these guys. Basically, you have to get
at the nanoprocessor and make some very exact cuts with a nanobeam laser.
DARRYN
I'll, um, try to keep the shuttle as steady as possible.
YURI
I'd appreciate that!
[Yuri removes from her belt a small device similar to a jeweler's glass and
puts it on. She draws her gun, fiddles with the setting, and aims at the
device. No beam can be seen, but a small square of plastic falls away,
revealing the nanoprocessor chip casing. Another cut, and the casing falls
away.
Beads of sweat roll down Yuri's face as she works. The rest of the crew
looks on in apprehension.]
RUMIKO
How will we know if she's successful?
DARRYN
We won't die.
YURI
Please! Quiet.
[Yuri continues to hold the laser. Suddenly, the device emits a loud beeping
noise and the indicators go crazy. Everyone yells in terror, but a second
later, it falls dead.]
------
[As the world tears itself to pieces around them, Andrew attempts to help
Shasti escape. He pushes from the side as Shasti pushes from underneath.]
ANDREW
COME ON! HEAVE!
SHASTI
NNNNNNGGGHH!!
------
[Yuri gets the device loose.]
YURI
NOW!! GO!!!
[Darryn opens the throttle, and the shuttle zooms away, just as the entire
mountain blows itself off the face of the planet in a titanic eruption.
Lava, dust, and debris are thrown kilometers into the air, falling once more
to add to the desolation of the surface.]
* * * * *
*****************************************************************************
*****************************************************************************
**************************** E P I L O G U E ******************************
*****************************************************************************
*****************************************************************************
A.D. 214303.25 @ 15:35:00
Planet Elenore, Caledonia Space Station
[Scene: a large WWWA space station orbiting Elenore. Inside, the Lovely
Angels and NightRiders enjoy a drink at a table with a panoramic view of
the planet and stars.]
KEI
Boy, am I glad this is over. I don't think I've ever been on a more
frustrating case.
YURI
Same here. Shasti. I tell you, I've never been more relieved to see someone
die.
KEI
Hey, don't get ahead of yourself! They never found a body!
YURI
And they're never going to! She's buried under how many tons of rock? A
thousand? Two thousand?
DARRYN
Come on, folks! This is supposed to be a celebration! It's not everyone
who can boast of beating Shasti.
RUMIKO
We can't. There's still a gag order on Shasti's existence, remember?
DARRYN
I meant rhetorically. I propose a toast. To us. We faced the best
cybernetics and genetic engineering had to offer, and we beat her.
[They touch glasses and drink.]
YURI
One more toast. To a pair of young women, without whose sacrifice, we never
could have beaten Shasti. To Daphne and Nene, the Lonely Hearts.
ALL
The Lonely Hearts.
[They drink.]
RUMIKO
So where are you headed on your vacation? Darryn and I are headed to our
favorite spot on New Japan.
YURI
I've never understood how you can spend your vacations at that monastery.
DARRYN
It's good for the spirit.
RUMIKO
Not to mention incredibly romantic. You should try it.
YURI
No thanks. Kei and I would be pulling our hair out by the third day. Isn't
that right, Kei?
[Kei doesn't respond. Something has her attention.]
Kei?
KEI
Ohhhhh... baby!
YURI (excited)
What is it? Did you find a cute guy?! Where?! GASP!
[Yuri sees what Kei saw, and her jaw drops in astonishment. Gliding past the
window is a long, sleek, silver and black spaceship with four swept-back
wings. Emblazoned on the side, in large crimson letters, is the legend
"LOVELY ANGEL".]
YURI
WwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwWOW! That's our new ship?! Kei, let's go check it
out! Kei?
[Kei is already running toward the docking area as fast her legs can
carry her.]
Kei, wait! Wait! Wait for me!
[She runs after her.]
RUMIKO
Well, that's just great. The Angels blow their ship to atoms, and they get
a top-of-the-line brand new one.
[She brightens up.]
Say! I've got an idea!
DARRYN
Don't even *think* it!
[On the bridge of the new _Lovely_Angel_, Kei sits in the pilot's seat and
excitedly checks everything out.]
KEI
(gasp) Cobalt thrusters! (gasp) Multi-phase pulse cannons! (gasp)
Short-warp manuevering processor! Ooooooooooooooooooh, I'm in LOVE!!
[Yuri runs onto the bridge.]
YURI
Kei did you see the quarters they're so LARGE and there's a kilometer of
closet space and it's a little drab but there's lots of places to hang
pictures and there's a pool and a jacuzzi and personal massage booths and a
little bitty movie theater and...
[Kei snuggles against the console.]
KEI
Oh, my precious lovely one, you're mine all MINE!
YURI
Hey! What's this "mine" stuff?
KEI
Don't listen to her. She can't possibly love you like I can!
[Darryn and Rumiko join them.]
DARRYN
I have to admit, I'm impressed.
RUMIKO
The 3WA must really be grateful. Hope some of that gratitude comes our way.
[A technician joins them.]
TECHNICIAN
Since you didn't need a ship, I'd look in your paychecks. You guys did real
good. You're the talk of the agency. You seem to have things well in hand,
so I'll be on my way.
[He turns to leave, then stops.]
Oh! Almost forgot. You've got a message waiting for you.
KEI
A message?
TECHNICIAN
Yeah, it came in on the 3WA's Ship-To-Ship network. I'm sure they were
sending it to your old ship. This one has the same address. Anyway, it
was coded "personal" so I just left it in the ship computer. Have fun!
[He leaves.]
YURI
Who would send us a Ship-To-Ship?
DARRYN
Probably just a congratulations. Play it, Kei.
[Kei hits a few buttons. The words "AUDIO ONLY" appear on the comm screen,
and Deirdre's voice is heard.]
DEIRDRE (voice)
Hi, guys! Like, what's up? Yup, this is Deirdre! You're probably going,
like, "How is that possible?" Well, I've been part of Shasti's mind now for
the past week or so. I helped you as much as I could. I really hope you're
okay. As I record this I don't, like, really know whether you made it out
okay or not. But if you're listening, you must've, so I'll pretend that I
know for sure.
I know what you're thinking, or at least, I, like, think I know. You're
thinking "If Deirdre's alive, then so is Shasti," and that makes you, like,
really bummed. Well, don't worry, because I've, like, turned her around,
see? It really wasn't her fault, y'know? It was that crazy guy they like,
shoved into her head, you know, LaCombe? He's not a problem now. Shasti's
shut him up for good, and she's gonna go to this guy she knows who can remove
him permanently.
Anyway, I'm happy here. Shasti's personalities have accepted me as one of the
gang. Shasti and Andy are, like, soooo happy. We're all excited, because
the Detective has deduced that he's getting up the nerve to pop the question.
Shasti's already decided that she's gonna say "yes". Like, even the Warrior
likes him! She says he's got "balls".
So, like, that's about it. I can't promise that Shasti's gonna be a good
girl, but, I can promise she won't kill anyone except in, like, self-defense
or something. It was really nice of Shasti to let me record this message,
because, I'm, like, never gonna see any of you ever again. I'm really gonna
miss you.
So, um, goodbye.
[The message ends.]
[All four are silent for a moment.]
KEI
So, what do we do about this?
[Darryn leans forward and hits "delete".]
DARRYN
That's what we do. Unless you'd rather go after her again.
[Kei, Yuri, and Rumiko all shake their heads "no".]
Didn't think so. Hey, Kei, how 'bout we see what this baby can do?
KEI
You got it! Strap yourselves in guys!
[The _Lovely_Angel_ pulls away from the station and shoots forward into
the stars.]
T H E E N D
==============================================================================
Comments? Larry and Ryan would love to read 'em!
Larry (original idea, plot, formatting, and illustrations)
is at "lrmann@uci.edu"
Ryan (plot, script)
is at "mathews1@ix.netcom.com"
--
A lot of people say things that | Larry Mann <lrmann@uci.edu>
have a lot of gravity. I just | Acquisitions Dept., Science Library
wish somebody would say something | University of California, Irvine
that has a lot of inertia. | Writer/Illustrator for hire