foreword: This one's short. so go ahead and read it. you might get into
it. :)
Ryoga's F'ing Gun
Part III
by PhoneyNT
"Ranma! You can't be d-d-"
Ranma smirked at her Akane from the window. "You dope, I'm right here," she
called out.
Akane whipped around. "Oh, thank...uh, too bad you're still alive, you jerk!
hey...what are you doing inside?"
She ran back into the house, flinging open the door and rushing in.
-
Ryoga and Kuno rushed for the slowly closing backdoor. Ryoga stuck his foot
in the way and flung the door wide a second time.
"Let's go in!"
"Now, where is the room of that foul dog?" Kuno wondered aloud.
"Let's follow her!" Ryoga indicated Akane, who had their back turned and was
yelling and running up a flight of stairs.
Stepping noiselessly, they trailed her upstairs, saw her enter a room, and
heard a loud smack.
"Now, out!" Akane yelled at Ranma.
"Okay, okay," Ranma responded. She walked out of her room and bumped into
two miffed boys with oversized firearms.
"Not again," she sighed before a firearm trained itself on him.
"P-pigtailed girl...!" Kuno batted Ryoga's pistol down.
Akane walked out of Ranma's room with a grin, then saw Ryoga and Kuno.
"Uh...what did Ranma do this time?"
"He has insulted you one time too many!" Kuno cried. "Pigtailed girl, we
apologize for accosting you! Allow me to date you to make up for it...!"
"Yeah, whatever he said goes for me too." Ryoga quipped.
Ryoga glared at Ranma with a gaze that said, "Next time, Ranma!"
Ranma grinned, then pounded Kuno with a two-handed blow to the chin. Ryoga
yelled a battle-cry, grabbed Ranma, but she twisted out of his hold and
blasted his chest with the Sweet Chestnut Fist.
"See ya!" Ranma yelled, and then blazed down the stairs.
"Ranma! You will pay!"
He blazed after Ranma. Kuno just sat there smoldering on the floor while
Akane followed both the fighters.
-
Tendo Family Room.
"Ranma! You will pay, once and for all!" Ryoga cried, stopping to arm his
laser-sighted pistol.
"Don't think I didn't come prepared!" Ranma retorted, whipping her own pistol
out.
"Dieeeee!" They both yelled in unison, both firing their weapons.
A bullet hole ripped itself the empty space of the crotch of Ranma's pants,
and Ryoga...
"Darn it? Did this thing fire? Hey, how do I cock, or something, this
thing?"
Ryoga laughed heartily. "What's wrong, widdle Wanma? Hawwing a widdle
twoubul?"
"Don't mock me, you...you...!"
Ranma launched herself at Ryoga once more, and fell back when a bullet ripped
her left shirt arm. Akane cringed and went back through the door to the
outside.
"I'm in charge, Ranma! See those precision shots? The next one could be your
forehead!"
"He's right!" thought Ranma disdainfully, "so the only way to beat a gun is to
learn one myself!"
"You forgot one thing, Ryoga." Ranma chuckled.
"What, boy?"
"This!" Ranma yelled at the top of her lungs, and kicked a glass from the
table into Ryoga's face. The transformation begun.
P-chan squealed.
Akane entered the house again, with, "Is that P-chan?"
Ranma grabbed Ryoga's stuff and shoved it under the table.
"Yeah."
"Ranma, what did you do with Ryoga?"
"He shot at me a couple times and left."
-
Evening, Tendo Family Room.
"Looks like everything's boiled over," Ranma thought.
"Ready for dinner, everyone?" queried Kasumi.
"As long as Akane didn't help," piped Ranma.
"Excuse me?"
"I said, I can eat anything except what you cook...but who can?"
"Ranma...shut up!" Akane yelled, splashing Ranma with cold water before
kicking him, now her, into the hallway.
"I'll be back for dinner later! Thanks a lot, you stupid tomboy!" he yelled
out at them.
"Hm, I've never known Ranma to want to miss dinner." Genma wondered. "Oh,
well, more for me!"
-
Ranma entered the bathroom, grumbling and drawing some hot water.
"Damn, it's too cold. I'll have to wait."
She divested herself of his clothing and waited. A skittering across the
floor alerted her.
"Well, how's it going, Ryoga ol' buddy who tried to kill me?"
P-chan launched himself at Ranma for a head-butt. Ranma caught him and
threw him away from herself. P-chan's body sailed through the air, bounced
off a wall, and caught Ranma in the second. She fell on the ground, air
rushing out of her with a loud "whoomp."
"That's it, pig...you're...hey?"
P-chan was standing in a puddle of blood. Ranma traced it source to his
little piggy snout.
"Wow--wow--" thought P-chan to himself.
"Wha--? Hey...you pervert!" Ranma kicked P-chan, right into the bath.
Ryoga surfaced almost immediately, yelling "Ranma!"
"What do you want now, Ryoga?" Ranma replied coolly.
"Ranma!" came a new voice, and the door blasted open. Akane stomped in.
The Tendo family watched from outside the door frame.
"Are you beating up P-cha...uh..."
Everyone save Ranma and Ryoga all stopped and stared.
"What is it?" asked Ranma, annoyed. "Can't a guy take a bath around here?"
"Amazing," remarked Soun.
"Whoa, the money I could make off you," thought Nabiki.
"Oh my!" Kasumi wowed.
"Ranma's probably not like that at all, Soun my friend. I'm sorry." Genma
muttered.
"What are you talking about?" yelled Ranma, angry.
Ryoga cast about for something to cover himself with, but the bathroom was
barren.
"Shit." he thought to himself.
Akane was the last to remark. "Why...Ryoga...don't be embarrassed. I'm sure
Ranma was messing with you again, I know an innocent guy like you can't
suppress it..." she stammered, blushing and tapping Kasumi to get her to bring
a towel.
Ranma was hopping mad. "Someone tell me what's going on!"
"Ryoga...don't be ashamed, not many guys are like you." Akane blushed and
giggled.
"Look down, son." Genma advised.
Ranma looked down at Ryoga. He gawked at...at...what must have been almost
a foot...
"Eep..." Ranma turned to Akane. "So why don't you marry him, then?" Ranma
yelled and then burst through the window, breaking it and flying out into
the street.
"What was that about?" wondered Akane as she turned away to get the towel
Kasumi had brought.
A yell, a female scream of anger, and a *smack* erupted from outside.
A streak came in, grabbed some clothes, and then left again.
-
The Tendo House roof.
"Phooey," thought Ranma angrily, "so why doesn't she go marry that idiot?"
Ranma imagined a bedroom scene starring him and Akane: he is pumping furiously
like a man possessed, almost like a stallion, and Akane yawns and asks, "are
you quite done?" She yawns again, opens a book and starts reading while Ranma
continues. "Come on, hurry up, I wanna go to sleep now." Ranma is still
displaying almost legendary power, and all Akane says is, "I should have
married Ryoga."
Ranma thought about other horrible possibilities: Ranma in girl form, asking
Akane to join him for the night, and Akane says "I won't do it with other
girls, you pervert." She sighs. "I should have married Ryoga."
"No! Who would want to please that stupid ugly tomboy anyways?" he wondered
vehemently. But he thought he knew the answer, as much as he hated it.
Unbidden as they were, the ideas wouldn't stop.
She imagined another scene, this one of Ryoga: he is languidly performing,
and Akane is the exact opposite of the scene before. Akane is slapping her
hands on the bed, on Ryoga, on herself, she is screaming, yelling all kinds
of four-letter words, her legs are thrashing everywhere, her body is
contorting and twisting, she is gripping the bedpost so tight the blood has
run out of her hands, and suddenly the bed collapses. Ryoga doesn't stop,
he smiles down at her simultaneously smiling and screaming face, she tries
her hardest to form a coherent word, and it comes out in a gasping yell,
"more!" A new round of conniptions, and she cries "I'm s-so gl-glad I
m-married...you!"
"No way! That won't happen! I'll see to it! I don't know how, but I will!"
-
To be continued...maybe...depends on feedback. I'm not getting any response
from this story, so I assume no one's reading it...and I don't write for
myself to read.
drward@versanet.com | we436@freenet.victoria.bc.ca | drward@richmond.infi.net
http://www.versanet.com/~drward - http://www.freedomnet.com/~sstiles
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| ******** END * TRANSMISSION ********* |
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drward@richmond.infi.net