I hope this isn't a duplicate copy. I guess there was some downtime.
Tales of Ranma and Nabiki 9:
Rough Draft of the final chapter (!!!)
A knock could be heard at the door.
"Who the hell could that be?" asked Ranma.
"Maybe it's the delivery men. I'm still waiting for some of my
cooking equipment to be delivered."
"Isn't it a little early for that?"
"Ten. Business day starts at nine."
"Hey! Open up!" came a voice from the door.
"Sounds familiar..." said Ukyou.
"Akane?!" said Ranma, placing the voice.
"Geez...it's about time, considering you told them where you were
going."
"Oh, will you shut up already, Ukyou? I told you, that was an
accident!"
"An accident, or did you want them to find you?"
Ranma glared back at Ukyou.
"Well...somebody has to answer the door. It might as well be me."
Ukyou slipped out of her bed and into a bathrobe.
"Get out of bed and get dressed really quick..." offered Ukyou. "I'll
go answer the door.
"Ok."
"And don't let her look inside the room! Close the door when you're
done!"
"Ok! Ok!"
**
"Akane? What's that you're muttering?"
"Chanting," corrected Akane.
"Ok, chanting."
"A mantra."
"A mantra?"
"Oh...yeah, I guess I haven't seen you since then. Well...you know, a
lot of my friends were getting into Krishnaism. So we all decided to
convert, and get the cool 'do."
"It...it looks beautiful," said Ukyou, trying to sound sincere. Akane
smiled.
"It's not supposed to look beautiful. In a way, it's supposed to not
look beautiful, if you catch my drift. Hare Krishnas believes in the
doing away of personal pleasures, of vanity, of the ego, in the quest
for spiritual enlightenment. Using hair as a form of decoration goes
against the creed."
"Oh...Ok," answered Ukyou, unsurely. Akane smiled. Ukyou eventually
continued.
"Then why not shave it all off?" Akane paused.
"I suppose...I suppose it's also a way of identification."
Ukyou didn't respond, and Akane went back to barely-audible chanting.
"Akane?!" Ranma and Akane turned and looked. It was Ranma.
"Hello."
"What the hell have you done?"
"I've decided to..." Akane didn't finish her sentence. Ranma was
already on top of her, and they started having sex.
**
Ranma made the slow, torturous walk up to Nabiki's room. It had been
nearly a month...would she still be mad at him? Would she kick him
out of the room? He had to find out. He opened the door to Nabiki's
room, forgetting to knock.
Nabiki was lying on her bed, face down. She turned around to face
Ranma.
"Oh...hello Ranma."
"Nabiki?" Ranma hadn't been sure was sort of reaction he was going to
get...but he hadn't expected the complete casualness.
"What, Ranma?" Ranma didn't respond, still surprised. Nabiki reached
over and got a few things from under her bed. She pulled out a CD and
put it in the CD player.
"I...I...you know. I thought you'd be mad at me. For...you know.
Because, well...before I left, you...and I didn't know."
"That? Oh. It was nothing."
"Nothing?!!!" Ranma looked partially stunned but mostly angry.
"Yeah, nothing."
"That's the *dumbest* thing I have ever heard in my..."
"Stop."
"What?"
"Stop."
"Ok..."
"I don't want to hear your yelling."
"You don't?"
"No." answered Nabiki. Ranma didn't know how to respond.
"Ranma...I love somebody else."
"Who?" Ranma now looked partially angry but mostly stunned.
"You hear the CD?"
"Yeah..."
"That's James Brown, the 'king' of soul music. Riyo and I went to one
of his concerts a little while ago. We decided to become groupies."
"You did?"
"Yeah...yeah, I did."
"Oh, ok," said Ranma, walking downstairs.
**
"Don't be silly Genma! The book of Obadiah couldn't have been written
by Obadiah the prophet!"
"Well...why not? Obadiah was known for his disagreements with the
court of Jezebel, and that's in keeping with the tone of the
book...Besides, the first century Jewish historian Josephus identified
Obadiah the prophet as the author!" Genma acted like he had won the
argument, but Nodoka smiled.
"And Josephus probably thought the world was flat. That doesn't prove
anything."
"Your views are so limited...Plato's ignorance of quantam mechanics
don't invalidate the philosophies of the _Republic_!" Genma yelled.
Nodoka sighed.
"This again? Look. Obadiah the prophet would have written the book
around 860 BC, right?"
"Yeah."
"In chapter one, verse eleven, there's the line 'strangers carried
away captive his forces, and foreigners entered into his gates...'"
"Yeah, so?"
"That's clearly referring to the destruction of Jerusalem by the
Babylonians under King Nebuchadnezzar!"
"So?"
"That didn't happen until the year 586 BC!"
"It didn't?"
"No! The book probably wasn't even written until 500 BC or so!"
"It wasn't?"
"No!" Nodoka stared triumphantly at Genma.
"Uh...so, when's dinner going to be ready, Kasumi?" asked Genma,
changing the subject.
**
"Could you get the door, Ranma?"
"Uhhh...sure." said Ranma. He looked a little out of it.
"Hello! And you are..." the stranger at the door looked shocked.
"I'm...I'm...Jeff...oh my god...you...you're...Ranma? Is this real?"
"Yeah...this is real," said Ranma, confused.
"It's like...I can't believe thing are real! I mean, my whole life,
and all my creative efforts, and I stopped trying to make friends or
keep in touch with the old ones, and..." Jeff clearly was flustered.
He gathered his wits and continued. "Sorry, I'm rambling. Well...You
wouldn't believe this, but I was at my computer, and there was a
thunderstorm outside, and a bolt of lightning hit my computer, and
when I woke up I was...well, right out front!"
"Oh, okay, pal. I think I see. Lemme guess. You write fanfics?"
"Yeah...how did you..." Ranma didn't let him complete his sentence.
He reached into a drawer in the cabinet by the entrance and pulled out
a handgun. He casually fired all the bullets into the intruding
otaku, killing him. He then closed the door and walked back to the
kitchen.
"Oh my!" said a startled Kasumi.
"Another one of those damned self-inserters," explained Ranma. "If
the police come I'll just tell them he tried to attack me."
"How you going to explain the gun?"
"He looked American. I'll just say I took it from him."
**
"So let me get this straight," said Kasumi, sweetly. "You say you're
a goddess named Skuld, and that you've been 'fucking around' with the
timeline ever since Ranma got here?"
"Yeah," said Skuld, proudly. "Pretty cool, eh?"
"Well, that does explain a lot of things."
"Like what?" asked Skuld, curiously.
"Well...it seems like all these people are dropping by at the same
time."
"That's my doing, although it would've been over the course of a year,
so I didn't really speed it up that much."
"And Ranma's...curse."
"That wasn't me...I started after that. But that's what attracted...I
mean, got me interested, in Ranma in the first place."
"And I noticed that the boys stopped chasing Akane at school, even
though Nabiki was the one who got engaged."
"They did?"
"Yes."
"Oh. Forgot about that."
"One thing I've been wondering...did you give Nabiki or Akane maybe
just a small amount of passion spice?"
"No...that's just one of the precepts of the series."
"Oh, all right. And Genma and Mr. Tendo seem to change attitudes
about whether Ranma is engaged to specifically Nabiki or just a Tendo
daughter after chapter 3..."
"How do you know about the chapter principle?" asked Skuld, surprised
and a bit shocked.
"And how did Akane learn how to swim for that date they went on early
on?" asked Kasumi. Skuld blushed and changed the subject.
"You sound like my sister."
"She reminds you of your mistakes?"
"No...I mean you sound like my sister."
"Oh."
"Let's have sex. With no explanation or reason. Just for the shock
value. Don't worry, we won't go into any detail..."
"What would that prove?"
"Nothing. But some would call that a story."
"Ok then," answered Kasumi, taking off her clothes.
**
"Akane, what are you doing here?"
"I was just about to ask you that! I got a letter!"
"Same here. From Ukyou. Geez. She sounded pretty serious..."
"Yeah. Hope she's all right."
"Although...Akane...since when has mail been delivered en person?"
"Huh?"
"I mean...these letters were delivered to *us*. Not to our houses.
Since when have they offered that service? How did they find us?"
"Who knows? Let's go inside." Ranma and Akane went inside. They were
joined by Shampoo and Nabiki. Eventually Ukyou came out to see them.
"Ukyou, are you sick? You look a little pale."
"I'm dying, Ranma."
"What?!"
"I've had flu-like symptoms for three days now. I went to Dr. Tofu,
and he told me there was no treatment."
"Oh," said Ranma, unconcerned.
"I've only got three days to live."
"Uhhh...ok." said Ranma.
"But I've accepted it...Ranma, I want you to have my..."
"Ukyou, I can't accept anything from you."
"Why not? I'm about to die!"
"Because you're a silly person. If you were going to die in three
days you'd have more than a runny nose."
"But there's no treatment! It'll just get worse!"
"Go away," said Ranma.
"But..."
Ukyou went down on Ranma.
**
"Why, what seems to be the matter, Great-Granddaughter?"
"You can tell?"
"You can't hide anything from me," chuckled Cologne. "I've known you
too long."
"Well...there is something."
"So tell me what it is..."
"I've realized Ranma is engaged to his fiancee not only because he's
betrothed to her, but also because he loves her."
"Really?" Shampoo continued, not noticing her grandmother.
"And Ranma has never even been that nice to me except when he wants
something."
"Yeah..."
"So I've decided to go back to China."
"What?!" there was obvious surprise in Cologne's voice.
"Why the surprise, Great-Grandmother? I'm a self-respecting woman,
and..."
"No, it's not that. There's two other reasons: primarily that you are
first and foremost an Amazon, and an Amazon strictly adheres to
tradition. So you must marry the man who defeated you, and any other
option is...unimaginable. Secondarily, relentless pursuit of Ranma is
what you do! It's part of your character!"
"True...but, still...it's a decision I've come to."
"You must have had a major catalyst to change your mind about Ranma."
"Oh, yes. Of course. I had a dream where I saw him in a tuxedo."
"Say no more," said Cologne, bopping Shampoo in the head with her
walking stick.
**
"But doesn't the premise seem a bit weak?" asked Kasumi.
"What? Why?" Skuld seemed a bit offended.
"I mean...Ranma and Akane may have...feelings for each other."
"Yeah..."
"And...they may not be able to communicate these feelings, because of
the situation they're in..."
"Yeah..."
"But changing one of the initial variables doesn't automatically mean
they're going to hit it off perfectly!"
"Sure it does!"
"No it doesn't! They're a volatile, virtually unmatchable couple!
They wouldn't!"
"Why not?"
"Because..." Kasumi paused. "Part of the reason they do have these
feelings for each other IS the initial situation. It's clear from the
manga you've shown me that what first drew them together was the
shared difficulties experienced BECAUSE of the betrothal. If you take
away the betrothal, you take away these experiences. And you know
Akane...only loved Dr. Tofu," Kasumi blushed, "until volume two of the
manga. She 'didn't like boys.' So it would take a shared experience
like the betrothal to bring them together."
Skuld paused at what Kasumi said.
"But...they got along well before they were betrothed..."
"Akane didn't even know he was a boy. Don't be silly. That changes a
lot of things."
"Well...maybe. But a lot of alternate realities aren't like that.
The timeline changes after they met."
"Those are just as silly. One thing happens, so Ranma and Akane
experience these dramatic personality shifts."
"People undergoing trauma do change, you know!" answered Skuld,
indignantly.
"Not permanently. And not drastically. Unless it's from shock
therapy or something."
"Well..."
"And what's the deal with manga #1?" asked Kasumi with surprising
bluntness.
"What do you mean?"
"Have I ever looked at angry as I do on pages seventeen or nineteen?
And on page fifty, I'm yelling and raising a fist at Mr. Saotome! Oh
my!"
**
"Ranma?"
"Yeah, Nabiki?"
"You know that letter I got from another country?"
"No. What about it?"
"Well...its was from a school in America..." Ranma didn't let her
finish.
"Not this again! Wasn't it cheesy enough the first time?"
"What? Getting into Berkeley?"
"Yeah! Why?"
"I applied there, and they let me in, so..."
"No...not that. Just...don't you think it's a little contrived?"
"No...why?"
"Never...nevermind."
"Well...why do you talk like that? A word, three dots, and then you
repeat the previous word?"
"So what does the letter say?" asked Ranma, changing the subject.
"Oh. I've been accepted to Dr. Xavier's School for the Gifted."
"Dr. Xavier? School for the Gifted?"
"Yeah..."
"Like the X-Men?"
"I guess. Why? What do you think I should do?"
"Rip the letter up. The X-Men aren't interesting."
"They aren't?"
"Nope. Not even slightly."
**
Kasumi finally came to the end of manga #40.
"So, what'd you think?" asked Skuld.
"Well...I wouldn't have missed much if I had stopped reading after
seventeen."
"Yeah..."
"Which, come to think of it, bears a remote resemblance
to...everything...that's happening here."
"Yeah...well...I didn't know about it until after I started. It's
coincidental."
"Mmmm..."
"Anything else?"
"Yeah. The character of Happosai: why?" Skuld paused.
"Yes, go on," encourage Kasumi. Skuld still didn't say anything.
Eventually, she spoke.
"There...was a definite...call in the plot, for an old midget good at
martial arts..." Kasumi tried to interrupt, but Skuld stopped her.
"Ok, I meant a SECOND old midget good at martial arts. And he had to
be lecherous, because...of the humor value."
"What humor value?"
"Oh. Yeah. Forgot about that. Because..." It was a few minutes
later before she resumed speaking.
"It's good for the ego to be able to write fanfic better than the
manga. Rumiko Takahashi must have known that."
**
"Nabiki?"
"Yeah?"
"You're getting packed up and ready to go, already?"
"It's been more than a week since the concert. He's not going to be
in Japan much longer..."
"Well..."
"Well what, Ranma?"
"One question. Before you go."
"What?"
"What's..." Ranma blushed. "I gotta know what's the deal with the
shorts."
"Why?" Ranma blushed.
"No reason."
"You like 'em?" asked Nabiki, starting to smile at the corner of her
mouth.
"Well...yeah. Yeah, I do." answered Ranma, shyly.
"Oh, Ranma," said Nabiki. She ran up and jumped into his arms,
hugging him.
**
"Congratulations my boy! I was wondering if you would *ever* get
married!"
"Hare Hare Hare Krishna Krishna Krishna Hare Rama Rama Krishna Rama
Rama," said Akane. She was saying that a lot.
"You sure you're not jealous, Akane?" asked Ranma.
"I am jealous, Ranma." answered Akane. "Only Krishna can be perfect.
But I try, and I am trying, to put myself past the emotion."
"That's good..." said Ranma, uncertainly.
"So, my boy, when's the big ceremony?"
"Big ceremony? It won't be that big. It should be pretty soon.
But...but it's not that simple, pop."
"It's not?"
"Before I can get married, I must prove myself in an Anything-Goes
Martial Arts Disco contest."
"Yes...I understand." said Genma. "Before I was married I was put
through the same contest. Son..."
"Yes?"
"Remember...remember...don't slide the left foot without counter-
balancing your weight with your right hand."
"And be aware of the Zen of the moment!" suggested Akane.
"And don't bring that damn ukulele!" said Soun.
**
"Ranma...I'm so glad...we could get married."
"Me...I am too, Ukyou. But...is something wrong? I mean, you
look..."
"Well, I guess I feel a little bad."
"What about?"
"You know. Telling Nabiki you would marry her, and then eloping with
me...I hope she doesn't take that the wrong way. She might get
upset."
"You think?" asked Ranma, surprised.
"Probably."
"Well...even if you're right, it's worth it." Ranma kissed Ukyou.
When they finished, Ukyou hugged Ranma back, satisfied.
"I guess...I guess I'm supposed to carry you through the door...and
onto the bed..." said Ranma, blushing.
"You don't have to be embarassed..." said Ukyou, before being cut off.
"Hold it right there!" said Skuld, "Before this turns into 'Ranma
Nibun no Ichi - Wedding', I have to talk to you!"
"Who are you?" asked Ranma and Ukyou simultaneously.
"It's...I'm a goddess. Ask your sister Kasumi for more information.
I don't want to keep you waiting."
"A goddess?" asked Ukyou skeptically. Skuld started floating in mid-
air.
"Yes. And...I've been messing around with your lives a lot,
recently..."
"That explains a lot of things..." responded Ranma.
"Ha Ha. So anyways, why doesn't the happy couple make a wish?"
"A wish?"
"Yeah. I figure I kind of owe you, so I'll grant you a wish. Like a
genie, but only one. Wish for anything you want. Within reason, of
course."
"Uh...ok. Sure. You make the wish, Ukyou."
"No...no thanks, Ranma. You make the wish."
"All right. Hmmm...well, it'd be nice to have a happy marriage
together. And Akane seems to have had a...difficult time with the
stress. And Nabiki might be upset at being left at the alter. Maybe
my wish should help these situations..."
"Maybe."
"But I think I have a better wish."
"What?" asked Skuld.
"I wish...I wish I got to do more of the things I did in 'Revolution
#9,'" answered Ranma.
Skuld smiled.
"Can't blame you."
"Oh my!" said a startled Kasumi.
**
This is the end of the "Tales of Ranma and Nabiki" series. Hope you
liked it. This has been a *fun* series to write. I think I will
attempt a re-write in the next month or two...as it was written over
the course of 8 months (!!!) I had drastic changes in style and small
changes in characterization. I will re-write this chapter based on
the suggestions I get here on the ML, and then post it on raac the
next time Zoner updates, which should be about November next year ^_^.
Now I'm on to my full-length "Sour Milk Sea"...I've written about 30K
so far, but it'll be about 200K by the time I finish it. Hmm...I'll
probably post it all at once.
Hmmm...please send all comments, suggestions, or questions to:
jdrutsch@ucdavis.edu
An amusing little tidbit: "Tales Of Ranma & Nabiki" clocks in at 298K.
The 9 other stories I have posted (and that's counting the 5 "Take Off
Your Clothes", the 2 "Revolutions", and the 3 "Weird Sisters" as 1
story apiece) total only 112K.
Anyway thanks for reading this far, and I hope you liked the series as
much as I did!
Jeff
****jdrutsch@ucdavis.edu***********************Jeff Rutsch*************
"Ranma's not a boy...he's a girl!"
"Akane is MY fiancee! You TOUCH her, and I'll KILL you!"
"Ranma, change back into a boy while I buy you some time."
"But if I seem to act unkind/it's only me, it's not my mind."
"Ranma [sic],/give your heart to Akane [sic]. /Soon,/right away."
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