At 10:00 PM 2/8/96 -0800, you wrote:

	First off, good story!
	I am wondering about the tone of part 2, though.  The attack of 
the kendoists was rather brutal by "ordinary" Ranmaverse standards.  
After all, Ranma has defeated Kuno in public many times without the Kendo 
club swearing revenge.  And most Ranmaverse opponents attack one-on-one, 
even when they're part of a group. 

Ahh, but that's the rub.  In this existence, Ranma defeated Kuno for the
first time ever on that day.  Also, the Kuno that he defeated has spent the
better part of a school year with his Kendo club acting as their rock, nay
their 'God' for lack of a better term.  My assumption in doing this was: had
Kuno progressed as Kendo champion with no humiliating defeats at the hands
of Ranma, coupled with his (at the time) unbreakable engagement to Akane, he
would have been revered greatly by his subordinates.  Some even defending
him to the point of fanaticism.

	The swearing got to me, too.  I know Ranma has quite the 
vocabulary, but the dialogue during the kendoist fight was all insults.  
One in particular stands out: Ranko taunting the last Kendoist by saying 
he hit like a little girl.  Didn't Ranko complain when Ranma said 
something similar?

Well, here was a (probably poor) illustration of the fanatical following
Kuno "should've" developed among his Kendo brethren.  When I envisioned the
scene, I was watching a bunch of freshman-level high school students
reacting to something they'd never expect to happen to their leader.  Ranma
felling Kuno should've been tantamount to sin in their eyes, and hence the
harsh and honorless reaction (which Kuno is going to react to, believe me).
Hence the foul language, also. (Plus I had a past rivalry in mind between
Ranko and the Kendo student that walloped her when I wrote that fight scene.
That'll come out when she and Ranma talk)

Ranma's and Ranko's swearing was reactionary.  The idea there was that they
weren't intimidated by words, and could give better than they got.  Ranko's
more than just a cute girl; she's also a trained martial artist who's
capable of dropping the 'cute' facade the instant she's provoked.

	Akane recovering some of her spirit was a nice touch, but don't 
let her return to her "old" self too fast.  She's got 1.5 years of 
despair to heal.

Yes, and she and Ranma are going to feel every minute of it.  <MUAHAHAHA!>

	Nabiki was perfect.  You should get massive brownie points for that!

Thanks.  Like Twister, I have a great liking for the middle Tendo daughter.
I don't exactly know how I'm going to carry her role in the future of this
story, but ideas are coming to me as I type ...

BTW, I sent this reply public to help answer some questions.



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Later,                            |  <witty .sig applied for>  ^_^
Todd Hill                         |
Newberry College Computer Lab     | Author: UY - The Prince and the Lecher
Newberry, South Carolina          |         Ranma 1/2 - Careful Destiny
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