At 01:14 AM 30/12/95 -0500, you wrote:

[A large shadow stirs in the bamboo grove at the Beijing Zoo . . .]
"Huh? Oh, Gopher! Nice to see ya again! I must say (munch) I'm really
happy with this (munch) new nick (munch) name! Oh, thank-you, >> thank-you,

How can you *EAT* those things?  Gaah!  No, thanks.

What? You don't want it? Okay! (Munch, munch, munch) Can't let it go to
waste.

 

Panda : Ahhh, but I feel fine!!! (munch, munch, munch) HONEST I DO!!!

How much weight have you added since xmas?  Huh?  What 2-300 lbs?  And >I'll bet you didn't even to munch bamboo before a few weeks ago.

Well, yeah but it is the holidays and everybody puts on a few pounds from
eating all that Christmas dinner and the goodies [Panda goes glassy-eyed]
Goodies . . . Goodies . . .

INCONVENIENCE??? After fighting to the death (I won BTW) with my
mailer app to add my cherished nickname to my sig file, I don't think they
can begin to fathom the meaning of the word INCONVENIENCE!!!
[Panda stomps around his pen at the Beijing Zoo while children point and
laugh at his antics and the Zoo keepers wonder how the Gopher got in the
enclosure]

[Gopher looks over and flips off a zoo keeper for the fun of it.  And
mumbles something about the Panda not knowing enough Unix.]

"DOH!! Don't piss them off!!! They'll cut me off of their table scraps!!"
What was that about Unix? Hmmm, I don't think they have any of those
here at the zoo.

Yeah?! And!? Cut to the chase M'boy!! (Sounds like Genma!!??)

Just *CHILL*. I'm getting to it!

[Panda looks over at the penguin compound and scratches his head]

Anyway - your new *TEMPORARY* non-personallity changing nickname
is now :
				Booger

(well, it was either that or 'snook-ums' - I think I took the better of the
two.)

BOOGER???!!! And what reassurances (munch) do I have that THIS
nickname (munch) won't change my (munch) personality??? (Wow is my
 nose ever itchy all of a sudden . . .)

Simple your last one, the P word, was made it Mexico (kinda explains it
don't it?) and this one is made in...[looks on the back for some type of id
or anything]...Tiwan!  What else could you ask for?!

Taiwan? Ahhhh. I don't think they have any copyright laws there. Or is it
Thailand? I dunno.

(Panda blows his nose) Ick! There's no way I'm gonna stand for this
!!![Panda is sitting down]. Gopher, you tell DEWEY, CHEETUM and
HOWE that I'm keepin' this nickname and I'll see them in court !!! BTW,
you got a few yen for the plane ride to the States? Gee, I haven't seen Saf
in awhile. I wonder how she's doin'?
^_^

You, dummy, D,C,&H are suing for you!  Actually, they are suing so you can
get a non-effecting nickname.  Now, if after this you still weigh 3** lbs
and eat bamboo, you're own your own.  But do you really want to take the
risk that this whole thing could be an elaborate misconception?

Well, I suppose not. Look, everybody knows you can't give yourself a nickname
so if everyone dislikes this one so much, then you'll have to find me a new one.
AND Booger, Snook-ums OR Platypus will NOT do!!! How about something
cool like "Black Dragon"? Oh sorry, I can't give myself a new nickname . . .
Hurry up then! This no nickname thing is very frustrating (especially to
those folks out there who don't like spam^_^)

I mean what happens if they try to mate you with that female panda in...
[Gopher thinks for a minute]...Washington D.C.? 
....uh, why are you getting that funny look in your eyes?

[Panda goes glassy-eyed]"Ping Ling . . . Ping Ling . . ."


". . . . . . . . . ." (Fill in blank)

********************
BG Cross
The Dark Traveller
askuse@execulink.com
********************