Ranma 1/2 The Current Generation
Pt 1: Encounter at Nearpoint
"How the hell did you become Chief Navigator?"
"Um... well, they had a test in Starfleet Academy-"
"I know that Ryouga, but I want to know how a dunce with no
direction like YOU could be in charge of navigation!" Ranma looked
at Ryouga with a mixture of disbelief and anger. There was no way
that he worked hard through the academy and only got a position
dealing with combat, something he was good at, that he had to share
and RYOUGA got a position as a NAVIGATOR without trying.
"Well..... perhaps I'm not as bad a navigator as you think I
am. Perhaps you should give me more credit in finding my way.
Perhaps-"
"Perhaps the scansheet's answer key shouldn't have spelled out
"Akane" with the little dots" Ranma said, cutting Ryouga off.
"Yeah... funny how that worked out. Well, at any rate, I'm in
charge of navigation, and I will be so till the end of this mission
at the very least. Speaking of duty, we have arrived at our posts."
Ryouga said with a feeling of triumph, even though he was aiming
for the assembly.
"Uh.... this is the holodeck."
"Oh yeah.....um, I knew that."
******************************************************************
Nabiki scanned the assembly before her. This was not going as
smoothly as she planned. Granted, leaping between the future and
the past to set up a small empire in 2368 was no small task, but
this was a lot tougher than she had thought. More consideration
should have gone into the human factor of this; she should have
planned on the "crew" being slightly disgruntled at being leapt
from the 20th century to the 24th. But what was done was done, and
she would have to deal with it....or rather, they would.
"Ok people settle down!" yelled Nabiki through microphone. Her
voice was lost in the mumbling of the crowd. "Hmmm.... I need a
different tactic," she mumbled,"... FREE FOOD!!!!!!!" All heads
snapped her way, eyes wide.
"There. Much better. This is your captain speaking. Please
return all seats and trays to.... oops, wrong speech. Ah, here it
is. As you all know, you are onboard the USS NASDAQ NCC-2231, named
so because Voyager was taking and ships with the name "Enterprise"
have a nasty habit of getting blown up. You have been chosen to
serve on the first Takahashi class starship because you are the
brightest, most dedicated, loyal-"
"Cheapest!" Mikado yelled from the back.
"Yes, your payscale was a factor in this. However, you are not
this ship's full crew compliment. We are to rendezvous with
Nearpoint station to pick up the rest of the crew and several cases
of extras. The voyage-....yes Kasumi?" Kasumi put down her hand and
began to speak.
"I don't remember anything about "extras" in the dockets and
briefings. Could you explain?"
"Oh, yes, extras. Every starship is given a supply of extra
characters that are either conscious or in cryo-stasis. They are
there to fill in the background, or to be beamed down in away teams
as cannon fodder or be injured or killed in accidents-"
"How HORRIBLE!" Kasumi gasped.
"-instead of us." finished Nabiki.
"Oh. Nevermind" said Kasumi with a smile that seemed a little
less innocent than before.
"To continue, the voyage will commence in at 1500 hours.
Please do not use the replicators, courtesy computers, or the
holodeck, as we are still installing the new operating system, MS
AI. Thank you, and roommate lists will be given in the 10-forward
lounge after we pick up the rest of our crew." With that, Nabiki
stepped of the podium and pretended to ignore all the evil looks
she was getting.
*******************************************************************
1500 hours
A loud noise commanded Nabiki's attention away from the main
viewscreen where Other People's Money was playing. She quickly
toggled a switch on the captain's chair and a view of the starfield
beyond the docking bay doors replaced the movie. Akane entered,
with and unconscious Ranma in tow. Nabiki noticed that he had a
fresh mallet lump on his head (when you lived near Ranma you
learned different kinds of object lumps very easily). Akane
unceremoniously dumped him behind his half of the weapons console
and took up a stance behind hers. Everyone else got there on time
(save for Ryouga). Of course, everyone else wasn't Akane and Ranma.
She took a little time to look around the bridge. Kuno stood at
Ops, still a little pissed that he wasn't in his "rightful place",
the captain's seat. Nabiki looked at him and noted how clingy the
Starfleet uniforms were. Science station 1 was empty, she was to
pick up a tech at Farpoint named A-kon, C-cro, dacron, or something
like that. "Must be related to that B-ko girl down in engineering."
she thought, and resumed the scan. If anything major was to happen,
then engineering was to be filled by B-ko. An extra was also
present, nervously looking at an away team duty roster rotation.
Finally, she turned her attention to the seat to her right, and 1st
officer Kinnosuke looked back at her. Ryouga wandered in at that
point, looking triumphant that he found his way.
"At last! 10-forward!" he exclaimed, and started looking
around for the bar.
"Take a seat behind the nav station, Ryouga. It's that way...
no, that way... to your left, Ryouga... no, your other left.
Alright, move forward.... ok, sit. Good boy." Nabiki sighed....
this was going to be a long mission.
"Everyone in position? Good. Now, our miss-... Akane, wake
Ranma up." Akane went to a replicator, got a glass of water and
dumped it on his head."Alright, everyone listening? Good. We are to
go to Nearpoint station where we shall pick up the rest of our
crew. On the way we will test version 2 of the photonic pulse
cannon. Everyone ready? All systems go?"
Kuno looked to his panel. "Operations is... how do you say,
go? Such misuse of words does not lean Tatewaki Kuno's favor to the
institution that calls itself Starfleet. Go seems to be-"
"Shut up, Kuno-chan" Nabiki said. Kuno shut up.
"Weapons go" Akane and Ranma said in unison.
"Um.... wait.. do I cover Engineering?" Extra asked. He looked
barely over 20, and seemed fresh from the Academy.
"Yes...." Nabiki said. This was going to be a real long
mission.
"Ok.... lesse.... That light means... OH MYYYY GOD!!!! OHHHH
MY GOD!!!! WE'RE ALL GONNA-"
"This is an anime fanfic, remember?"
"Oh, sorry... OHHHHHH MY GODDESS...OH MYYYYYYYYY GODDESS!!!!
WE'RE ALL GONNA DIE!!!!! WOMEN AND ME FIRST!!!!!!"
"Navigation go." Ryouga said.
"Very good," Nabiki was glad that they had at least managed
the preflight without blowing anything up. "Set a course for Sector
001, warp 6."
"Course set" came the response.
"Engage." The word barely exited her mouth before a horrible
grinding sound of metal on metal came from the port side of the
ship.
"What the hell was that?!" Ranma-chan half asked/half
shrieked.
"Ryouga you moron! How in the hell could you be so stupid!?
CLEAR US OF THE DOCKING BAY BEFORE TAKING OFF!!!!" Nabiki was
extremely pissed; this ship was nowhere near cheap. Having the
paint job ruined by a klutz at the helm... well, she was glad the
shipyard/station's computers had automaticly disabled the warp
functions. If it hadn't, then there would have been one large nav-
hazard in the docking bay.
A tremor going through the ship does not go unnoticed, as
Kasumi's image popped into the lower left corner of the screen, A
strangers face popped into the upper left, Ukyou's in the upper
right, and Shampoo's replaced the small patch of space still
visible.
"Sister," Kasumi said in her concerned voice, "if you are
going to bump the ship around any more, I'll have to request that
you tell us before you do. Sickbay just can't work under these
conditions."
"Shampoo was making food for Ranma," she smiled sweetly at
him, and he almost returned the gesture when an evil look from
Akane cautioned him to consider his actions, "when suddenly ground
shake under Shampoo, spilling ramen to floor. What you do about
this?"
"What are you guys doing up there!? I may have slept through
some of my lessons at the academy," Ukyou had no shame in admitting
that, everyone had done it. In fact, she was one of the highest
ranking officers despite that fact, "but I know that this isn't
supposed to happen!"
"Sorry," Nabiki said, "we just made.. a slight error in
judgement."
Shampoo looked confused. "Error in... judgement?" Great
Grandmother, what that mean?"
"It means 'royal screw up'" responded Cologne in Chinese.
"I take it that your questions have been answered." Nabiki
said. Kasumi, Ukyou, and Shampoo nodded yes. She then turned her
attention to the face in the upper left corner of the screen.
"Um... what so you want, sir?".
"Is this Poppa Jhon's Pizza?"
"No."
"Sorry" he said, and his faced disappeared. No sooner than he
had left, a cute girls face replaced it.
"I have finished installing myself into 98% of the ships
functions, major and minor. The other 2 percent are the personal
electronic interfaces; they wouln't be ready for some time now.
Primary sensors are now online, and you REALLY don't want to know
what you just hit." Ai smiled.... this was going to be fun.
"Who ARE you?" Nabiki asked.
"Amano Ai, Computer Girl."
"My computer is a....a.... little girl?!"
"I have the personality and appearance of a 15 year old human
female and I'll have you know that I am top of the line! And, as I
said before you DON'T want to know what you just hit."
Nabiki was about to reply when Kuno cut her off. "Someone is
requesting that I, the great Tatewaki Kuno, inform you that they
deem themselves worthy of your audience."
"So we're being hailed." she translated for those who do not
speak Kunoese
"Yes; that is so."
After a moments pause, there was still no message onscreen.
"Uh, Kuno... what's the hold up?" Ranma asked, halting her
task of looking around for a replicator that would give her hot
water.
"I, uh... er....How do you receive a transmission?" he asked.
"Don't you dial "9" to get out?" Asked Ryouga
"No, I think you dial "0", " Akane said, and Ed O'Neil jumped
from the turbolift, slapped a ticket on her head, and ran out.
Ranma removed the ticket and looked at it.
"Phone Patrol?" he pondered
"Look, all of this is getting us nowhere," Kinnosuke said,
"Kuno, hit the button marked "receive"."
"Oh... ok." He did as he was told, and a square superimposed
itself in the center of the screen.
"I am Captain Jean-Luc Picard of the Federation Starship
Enterprise. Your ship scrapped the side of ours. Are you in control
of your vess-.... where is the ranking officer on board?"
"She's right here" Nabiki responded.
"But...but....you're only a little girl" he stammered. Wesley
decided that it would be a good time to tune into the conversation
and directed his attention to the main viewer. His eyes grew larger
as he looked from Kasumi to Ukyou to Ai to Shampoo and finally they
darted around the bridge of the other ship.
"Captain Picard, request transfer to the USS-" he started.
"Shut up, boy." he said curtly.
"Ummm.... weren't you to drop that line after the Yamato vs-"
"SHUT UP, boy!" William Riker said after exiting the turbolift
and started heading for his chair. He then looked onscreen the same
way Wesley had.
"Sir, request immediate-"
"Denied, number one" Picard raised a hand to his temples. This
was going to be a long day.
"If I may conduct investigations on this" Riker asked.
"Go ahead, number 1" Picard sighed and sunk into his chair.
"Thank you sir!," the then turned his attention to the screen.
"Any of you girls over 18? A mature 17 or 16?" he asked with his
best charming smile. Deanna seethed.
"I am!" Kasumi replied innocently.
"Hehehehe.. do you like older men?" Riker asked.
"Yes! Why do you ask?"
"Oneechan! Can't you see that he's hitting on you?" Akane
asked her in disbelief.
"Now Akane, you shouldn't accuse a man you don't know of
violent behavior" she scolded.
"Miss Tendo," Data said, and Wesley wondered how much of human
behavior he had learned from this exchange "I believe that your
sister does not mean physical violence, but that he is trying to
coerce you into going on what is called a "date". That is part of
a long held human mating ritual-"
"Mating ritual?" an excited Wesley asked Data, wondering where
he picked all this up.
"Shut up,....boy" Data said. Yep, Wesley thought, he had
learned a lot.
"So, you like older men, huh?," Riker continued, "well, you
know it's Federation policy for the second in command of the
flagship to be an escort to the.....uh, what are you?"
"I'm on the medical staff. Our CMO, Dr. Tofu, is indisposed at
the moment; he's playing with his skeleton."
"Um, yes... a member of the medical staff of his choosing for
and evening."
Picard had completely lost faith in Riker's interrogation
procedures at that point and got out of his chair. Tugging at the
base of his tunic as he stood, he faced the screen and spoke.
"Ms. Tendo"
"Yes?" the three Tendo girls said in unison.
"No, just the one with the short brown hair. How did you come
into command of this ship?"
"Simple. I bought it."
Picard was shocked. "Young lady, a starship of that class
costs billions-"
"Four point six billion bars of latinum to be exact. Not
including R&D, staffing, fuzzy dice, 8-track, etc."
"Yes... well.... how do you expect us to believe that you got
that much money!?"
"Again, simple. I leapt back and fourth in time, selling,
trading, betting, etc. till I had a sufficient amount of money,"
she smiled to herself. He REALLY didn't want to know how much money
and deeds to businesses she considered "sufficient". "Then I had
this ship designed and built."
Picard stared at the screen. It WAS plausible... but....
"Ryouga, maneuver us out of the station and go to warp.... uh,
what is the fastest cruising speed for this vessel?"
"Warp 8.3. Anything faster than that taxes the engine" Ai
said, making Nabiki aware of the presence of the other faces on the
screen.
"Thank you. Warp 8.3, towards Earth"
"Ai... I mean, aye Captain." Ryouga responded, and set in a
course that lead in the opposite direction.
"Are we clear of the docking bay," he nodded yes, "then
engage. And Ai, but the comm channels. All of them." Nabiki
instructed. Ai did as she was told, and the streaking of stars
replaced the faces on the monitor.
*****************************************************************
"Should we go after them, sir?" Wesley asked to none of the
bridge officers in particular.
"Well, I'd suggest going after them," Riker said.
"I bet you WOULD!" Deanna hissed, and then regained her
composure.
"No, Wesley, Number one. This is too weird, even for me."
Picard said tiredly. He wished above all else to have a nice
steaming cup of Earl Grey with him. "Who should we get on the
case?" the captain mused.
Exit the bridge, with the chourus of "Perry Mason" by Ozzie
Ozzbourne blasting.
*****************************************************************
The Q floated through space, wondering where this ship his
mentor wanted was. If he had been given the promotion to 3/4 Q and
had been given more power then he would have found the stupid thing
already. But nooooooooooooooooooooo, his master kept babbling on
about the ability to do with what you had and using the force and
some other such nonsense. He didn't even give him a way to identify
the ship if he saw it! All he said was "You'll know it".
Dejectedly, he plodded on.
*****************************************************************
"WHAT DO YOU MEAN WE'RE LOST!?" Ranma screeched. Nabiki
maneuvered in her captains seat to get a better view of the
exchange.
"None of these planets...I mean.. we're. well... off the
maps," he replied sheepishly, then changed his tone, "and I didn't
exactly see *YOU* giving me any help!"
"Yeah, Ranma! All I remember you doing was looking at the
screen and going "cooooooooooooooooool" while we warped!" Akane
yelled at Ranma.
"People, people," Nabiki began, "This delay only means is that
we will be doing our secondary mission a little earlier. we were
supposed to go outer limits of Federation space and catch a
wormhole after testing it, but now... Ryouga, take us into orbit
around, " she paused looking at the screen, "that orange one." He
did as he was told. "Also, alert Ukyou that she will be taking your
place at the helm for the rest of this mission. You can go now. No,
that wa- oh, nevermind. Extra, go down to engineering to help B-ko
with the preparation of the photonic pulse cannon. Kuno-chan, call
Starfleet and see if they can give us directions back to Federation
space. Kinnosuke, come with me to my ready room. Akane, you have
the bridge; you and Ranma cooperate with engineering on the tests."
As almost everyone filed off of the bridge, Ranma muttered "I
can't believe that she left AKANE in charge."
"What was that, Ranma?" Apparently, his comment had not
escaped her hearing. "Would you care to repeat that for EVERYONE to
hear?"
"Hah! There's no one on the bridge but us! See, you can't even
tell if the crew is here!"
"Baka! We ARE the crew! And at least I'm not a pervert that
changes into a girl!"
"What does THAT have to do with anything!?"Ranma yelled as he
unconsciously slammed his hand down on the control panel. A tremor
went through the ship at that moment, just enough to knock them
down.
"What was THAT?!" Akane asked Ranma. He just shrugged. Ukyou,
Kuno, and Nabiki. Kinnosuke came a bit later; he had printed the
directions given to him by DS9 and was holding them in his hands.
"Damage report, Kuno" Nabiki ordered.
"We took some damage, captain" he replied.
"No shit," she glared at Kuno, "could you be more VAGUE?"
Sarcasm obviously wasted on him, he updated the report. "The
warp field transboobulator has crossed with the shield generator's
aft control rod spilling neutrinos into the antimatter intake. That
has left the Maktleicors sensors...um, kinda funky. Also
communications to engineering have been knocked out."
"Kuno-chan, that wasn't even GOOD technobable. Could someone
COMPETENT take the conn?" Ukyou left her post a navigation and
looked at the readouts.
"Our forward shields are down to 92%; not too bad."
"Thank you, Ukyou" Nabiki said. Kinnosuke handed her the sheet
of paper. Nabiki barely glanced at it and looked back to Ukyou.
"Enter these coordinants Ukyou,"
she passed the paper off to
Ukyou, who looked at the numbers and did as she was told. "Take us
out of orbit."
"Out of orbit of what?" Ukyou asked.
"The really big planet we're orbiting around. You can't miss
it."
"All there is there is a bunch of rubble." Ukyou looked back
at Nabiki, who had a puzzled look on her face.
"Kuno, onscreen" she said.
"No, it's not. That is a starf- OH! You mean PUT it onscreen!"
Nabiki rolled her eyes. Kuno got the hint. The screen changed
from a starfield to the remains of a planet. While you could still
make out the circular shape if you squinted enough, what would be
the center of the disk was a large charred hole that went through
the planet. Or rather there was charring on the inside edges of the
planets rubble. Suddenly, B-ko's voice was on the bridge.
"B-ko to Captain Nabiki" she said.
"Yes?"
"We have re-established communications with the bridge."
"Obviously," Ranma muttered.
"Who was that?" B-ko asked in a not too kid voice.
"No one important" Nabiki replied "can you tell us what
happened to the ship?"
"Yes. We took some damage," incompetence was in no short
supply on this ship, "and we weren't able to finish prepping the
cannon before some fool fired it! It's now damaged and will take at
least 2 days to fix." Ranma and Akane looked extremely
uncomfortable. "The shock we got was from the cannon hitting our
shield; we hadn't calibrated the frequencies so they'd match yet.
We were able to shut off the shields before they took too much
damage. Hopefully the beam didn't hit anything." Ranma and Akane
started to visibly sweat.
"Thank you B-ko. Ukyou, take us out of orbit of this.....
thing and continue on to the coordinates given to you."
"Aye, captain!' she said, and the ship blasted away into a
flash of light. Away from the mysterious, uncharted system, past
the quaint DS9, around Cardassia, past the orange toned Bajor,
through the wormhole, past Babylon 5, around the imposing Death
Star, away from the mysterious, uncharted system..
"Somebody get out the damned map." Ukyou grumbled
*******************************************************************
"I wish I had a slurpy... or a game of Travel Scrabble" the Q
said to no one in particular. In fact, anyone in particular was at
least a light year away. How was he supposed to plunder a ship he
couldn't even FIND!? And "He'd know if he saw it". Gee that helpe-
Suddenly, a flash went off to his right. He stared off into
the distance, and saw a planetoid shattered and a ship leaving
orbit from around it. He kept looking, and saw the ship come back
as if it were lost.
He found it.